Breathing Space
by Pagan Twylight
Summary: Sequel to When Angels Fall. Sam's carrying something special and the SGC, SG1, and her mates are driving her crazy, so she leaves. She's safe, but not for long! The Tok'Ra scramble for their lives, relationships are tested, threatened, strengthened. SML
1. The Fear Remains 1 BRSP

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real person, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

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_The first part of this chapter was cut somewhat for Rating reasons. This is the the **sequel** to **When Angels Fall** and it is one of my stories that has been nominated for a Gate Fic Award._ _The NC-17 version can be found on my homepage. ** It is not necessary to have read When Angels Fall** to be able to understand Breathing Space as they are very much **stand alone stories. **  
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**_Story Summary:_**_ Sam's carrying something very special and the SGC, and SG-1 in particular, are going nuts over her and her oh-so-precious cargo. Soon, it becomes too much, so she leaves. She's safe...but not for long! As the Tok'Ra scramble for their very lives, relationships are tested, threatened, and strengthened. Tensions mount, puzzles appear, and it looks like they may lose their race against time…it is quickly running out! **Special Guest Appearance by:** Tashmar, the Tok'Ra Komodo-Dragon! _

**_Chapter One Summary:_**_ Lantash and Martouf are leaving on an off-world mission and Sam puts some plans she made previously into effect. She hates to do it; Lantash and Martouf will be bereft, but she can't stand the way they, and everyone else is treating her. Lantash and Martouf are devastated when they return from their mission and realize what they have done. _

**_Warning:_**_ Sexual Situation, allusions to sexual activities...nothing is graphic, however._**_  
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**_Characters:_**_ Sam, Lantash/Martouf, Daniel, Jack, Teal'c, Janet, General Hammond, Malek, Anise/Freya, Jacob/Selmak, Aldwin, Tashmar, the Tok'Ra Komodo Dragon _

**_Pairings:_**_ Sam/Martouf/Lantash _

**_Rating:_**_ This chapter: NC-17 _

**_"Italics" – _**_Symbiote-Host communications_

**_Mer Prinekh - _**_Joined life. It is another more intimate name for Lifemate used by both host and symbiote. Mer Prinekh is often used as a term of endearment and affection._

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_**Breathing Space**_

**_Chapter One_**

**_The Fear Remains_**

* * *

Martouf watched Samantha as she slept. He never tired of doing so. The last four months here on Earth had been his idea of heaven, if such a thing existed. He reached out and lightly rubbed the swelling of her stomach feeling the fluttering movements and little kicks of the new life that grew there.

_"It is an event beyond anything we ever thought possible, is it not, beloved?"_ Lantash asked him quietly. "_To feel our seed move within our mate is something we never thought to know. It is a profound thing,"_ as he spoke to his other mate it was easy to hear the emotion, so near to awe, as it colored the tones and timbres of his voice.

"_It is," _Martouf, agreed quietly, his own awe plainly apparent. "_I do miss her when we go on missions, though, and I believe it is worse because of the coming child. We worry about her more than we might because of it. However, she is doing well according to Janet," Martouf _continued, doubt coloring his voice.

_"True, and that is something to be thankful for, indeed. We should not worry so; she is well taken care of, and Janet would take immediate action at the first sign of a problem,_" Lantash agreed, though it was obvious that he, too, was not absolutely convinced.

Martouf sighed, not answering right away. _"I know, but still, the fear remains,"_ he eventually confessed, anxiety lacing his words, as he considered their upcoming mission.

"_This mission will keep us away from the SGC for several days, Martouf. Bring her into our arms and cradle her against us, Mer Prinekh. I need to feel her warmth closely one more time before we begin our day,"_ Lantash requested swiftly, attempting to divert Martouf's mind from concentrating on their fears, as that was not only unproductive, but also counterproductive. Since they still had not found a foolproof way to calm their apprehension, there was no point in allowing it to overwhelm them by dwelling on it.

After complying with his request and feeling her smile sleepily against his neck, Martouf kissed her forehead and released control to Lantash so that they could both enjoy the embrace fully. It was a routine they never missed when they were on world and sleeping with their mate.

Lantash smiled as Sam slid her arms around him and murmured his name. No matter how they varied it, whether they started out with him and switched to Martouf, or vice versa, she always knew, even half asleep, who was actually holding her. It never ceased to amaze them.

"Is Martouf holding you, too, Lantash?" She asked softly.

Lantash smiled, and then laughed softly, "Yes, of course he is, my love. As he always does; as do I when the situation is reversed, as you so well know."

"I am looking forward to blending. Although, I can see how the genetic memory is a great help in some ways, it is a detriment when it comes to having children."

"I know, but it will not be long now, Samantha. Two and a half more months only," Lantash reminded her that they did not have long until the child arrived.

"If," she reminded him, "We decide we only want one child. I know this one was an accident, but it is a welcome one, and I am very glad it happened. However, since this baby reminds you that I do not have control of my own fertility and, therefore, you must remember to take care of Martouf's, or I need to take precautions myself, if we have more than one, then it must be a conscious decision on our part. I have to admit, I believe if we want two, we should have another one almost immediately. I know it would be difficult, but once I blend, my symbiote would be able to help me get back in shape."

"Do you want two children, Samantha?" Lantash asked. He knew she was considering it and thought of it often; however, they rarely spoke of it. That she brought it up indicated that she might be close to making a decision.

"I do not know. Sometimes I do; then I really think about it, and I realize what a responsibility it will be, just the one. More than that, with our lives so disrupted, I wonder if it is fair to the child. On the other hand, if I only have one, it will be a very lonely child because there are no other children in the tunnels," she sighed softly after she explained what she was considering and weighing in her mind.

"What are you saying, Samantha?" Lantash asked, as he tensed. Was she once again going to request they take the time to go with her to the Tunnels? So far, they managed to refuse her without telling her that he was acceding to Dr. Fraiser's fears about the Chaappa'ai, even though he knew her to be incorrect.

"I have thought and thought about this, and I believe we will have to move to the tunnels, perhaps soon. This baby is going to have all kinds of odd chemicals and DNA. We both know that we cannot allow the information into the general public. The next thing to take into consideration is school, an accident, an illness, anything that occurred away from the base, if we ever leave the base, would be a potential disaster just waiting to happen. We cannot allow any of those situations to happen, not away from the base; you can do a great many things, Lantash, but keeping accidents from happening is not one of them."

"What is more, although we rarely mention it, we both know that we would not be living on base, if kidnapping was not a very real threat to me, and when it is born, to this child. Consequently, whether we are here on Earth, or in the Tunnels, it will not have a normal childhood. I see no recourse, but to move to the Tunnels, Lantash.

"I know you thought I wanted to be here, among my people, and at the time, I thought so, too, but the truth is, that even with Janet, I feel as if I am a scientific oddity to be measured and scrutinized under a microscope. I know that the Tok'Ra healers would look on me somewhat in that light, too, but I doubt if they would be as obsessive over it. Here, someone is constantly running tests and doing blood work and," her voice broke as tears, always close to the surface recently, threatened.

Drawing in a deep, shuddering breath, she was finally capable of saying, "I want to go home to the tunnels, Lantash. Janet is being too overprotective of the baby and me. She does not want me to go through the gate, or go on missions. And it is not just Janet; _everyone_ is being overprotective, even the cafeteria people are driving me crazy!" she exclaimed, obviously not only exasperated, but aggravated, as well. Her voice was holding some other emotion Lantash did not remember hearing in it before, but he was not sure exactly what it was. "I ask for spaghetti, and they give me salad, chicken, and potatoes, because I need to eat a balanced meal. I do not even get to eat the food I want to eat, unless I tell them it is a craving. Then they add it to the other food, as a treat."

"The other day, someone changed the channel I was watching on the TV in the rec room, because I should not be watching anything scary; it might affect the baby." She looked at him, her distress palpable, as she tried yet one more time, to explain her feelings, "The baby was asleep; it was not watching it. I was. Lantash, just the fact that I would make such a ridiculous statement should tell you how badly everyone is getting to me. The baby does not watch TV at all!" She exclaimed believing she was telling him something that was all too apparent.

"All I do is sit in my lab doing almost nothing day after day, and going out of my mind from idleness and boredom. Even there, they are restricting me, saying they don't know what this or that will do to the baby. Since they assigned that new assistant to help me, I rarely get to do anything in my own lab. And Daniel assigned Nyan to help me, too, whenever you are all off world, and all I get to do is sit at a desk and watch the two of them."

"I cannot stand this any longer and besides, I really miss everyone in the Tunnels. Especially Arwanna. Plus Tashmar and his new mate. I have not even seen their new family yet. I think the Tok'Ra healers can handle anything that happens. Please, Lantash, please, take me home," Sam pleaded softly, her voice breaking in her misery.

"Oh, Samantha, why did you not tell me they were bothering you again? I will speak to Janet, I promise," Lantash assured her quickly. "I will see to it that they allow you to do some things in your lab and that Janet does not continue to run tests so often," he concluded by giving her a swift kiss, hoping she would not continue with the subject. They simply could not have her in such a dangerous environment as the Tunnels. Just the thought of it made him shudder in distress…and fear for her.

"But…"

"No, Samantha, I do not believe you are thinking clearly about this situation. It can be resolved without our removal to the Tunnels. As I promised, I will talk to Janet and tell her to run fewer tests, and I will see if I cannot arrange for your lab assistant to spend less time there. In addition, I will tell Daniel to give Nyan something to keep him busy so that he will be away from you this time while we are gone. We simply thought that, as we know you like him so well, he would be an acceptable replacement for us, while we are gone." He smiled slightly before continuing, gently, "He takes it very seriously, I am afraid, and he is quite proud of being entrusted with your care while we are away. I think it makes him feel special."

He frowned suddenly, as he thought of something else. Then his brow cleared and he nodded as if satisfied with his conclusion, before stating decisively, "Although, perhaps you are correct and one of us should stay behind with you. We did discuss it, and that was when we decided that Nyan would work as well, but one of us could stay behind instead. In addition, if we take the assistant away, then you will have some time alone in your lab"

Sam sighed. She was thinking clearly. This was part of the entire problem. Even Lantash would not believe she knew her own mind. It was as if pregnant, stupid, irrational and unstable were synonyms. They were the ones being irrational, not her. Now, he was telling her they had discussed one of them remaining behind instead of going on missions. Perhaps they would draw straws to see if it would be Teal'c, Daniel, or Lantash that stayed behind. To add to her discomfort, if she refused Nyan, then he would feel as if he had failed. She had known he seemed to take being with her very seriously; she had not realized Daniel's choice of him made him feel special. She sighed to herself. Nyan was too nice a person for her to be comfortable hurting him.

Well, she had tried and again no one would listen. It would change for a day or so, and then it would be back to; "Sam, you have to eat now. Sam, it is time for your nap. Sam, you cannot be staying up all hours, even if Martouf is gone. Here is your milk, Sam. Do not touch that, Sam. We really should check xyz level in your blood just to be sure it is not changing. No, you cannot run those tests; we do not know what those types of EM pulses would do to the baby. No, you absolutely cannot go through the gate; we do not know what affect it could have, and you have already taken chances by going through several times.

Dear God, it was driving her crazy, and it had to stop before she became so angry she said things that would hurt everyone. Of course, they would probably just smile and write it off to her hormones, so maybe it would not matter. Except to her; it would matter very much to her.

She smiled at Lantash, and kissed his chin, apparently giving in to him yet again, before saying, "All right, for now. Do not worry about changing things with Nyan. He is very nice, and we do get along well. What time do you leave on your mission?" She changed the subject and began to caress Lantash hoping it would distract him enough that he would forget about their discussion of a moment ago.

It did. "We leave in five hours and seventeen minutes, which is more than enough time for me to make slow and wonderful love to you, Beloved," Lantash said, as his lips made their way to the sweetness of hers. He would tell everyone to step back, and be more unobtrusive in their surveillance of her and what she was doing. Furthermore, he would be sure to tell the cafeteria to let her eat what she wanted once in a while.

"I would like that very much," Sam said softly. After all, if her plans went off, as they should, it could be a while before they were together again. She had to get away from this smothering they were inflicting on her. She felt as if she was suffocating, as if she could not breathe. When would she lose even their intimacy because they decided she was too far along, and it was no longer safe, even though it still was? It would not be a joint decision, she knew. They would simply decide that they should no longer have sex, and that would be that. The arbitrary decisions they made were beginning to irritate her more and more. She could not live like this any longer; it had to stop. It _had_ to stop one way or the other and before the price became her marriage.

Feeling his mouth on her, she returned to the present with a vengeance, but a pleasant one. As he took her lower lip and nipped it gently, she nipped him back moaning as she did so.

At the same time, she began to stroke Lantash more firmly through Martouf's skin. She loved to feel him quiver under her fingers as she varied the rhythm and pressure she used on him. It still amazed her that he responded in this way, causing Martouf even more pleasure, when she stroked Lantash. They had assured her that Martouf felt it as an extremely enjoyable and stimulating gesture, and the obviousness of his response allowed her to know they were telling the truth. She moaned as Lantash raised the sleep-shirt that she wore over her head to dispense with it entirely.

His lips left trails of fire as he moved to enjoy her throat, and after marking her gently, to travel on to her lips. He feathered kisses across her cheeks, teasing her by kissing the corner of her mouth, and then retreating without tasting of her lips fully.

He would reduce her to a body throbbing with need, her desire raging out of control. He was a skillful lover; of that, there was no doubt. The memories left by Jolinar had not lied, for he was everything she remembered and more, just as Martouf was.

Burying her face in his neck, she nipped him lightly. She did not want to turn the tables yet, but if he continued his erotic torture, she would do so. Over the past months she had learned, and remembered, a few moves of her own that could reduce them to a body without thought, and she would not hesitate to do it to them today. Besides, it was almost time to do so, or she would not be able to.

Lantash had proved to be intensely passionate, physically sensitive, and skilled in the art of love. She knew exactly where to touch him to bring him to the edge and leave him hanging there, panting for release. In return, he knew exactly the right combinations to do the same to her.

Martouf, on the other hand, was sweetly sensitive, intensely passionate, and gentle in his loving. They could switch seamlessly, but their touch was different enough she always knew. Lantash almost inevitably took over when they needed better control, but as she had learned their body, she had also learned the things against which he had no defense. She would love them both very well this morning. They would dream of this and tell her of it later, when they finally forgave her, or perhaps, if they looked for her, and found her. And, if they truly understood, then all three would happen soon. She hoped.

He trailed his fingers up the inside of her thigh and she brought her own hands to the hardness of the sculpted muscles of his chest. She leaned forward and nipped his chest, pleased at the gasp of pleasure it always brought from him. Nipping him this way brought Lantash more quickly to the point of mindless need. It did not work as quickly as some other things, but it was a pleasant place to start him on his journey to their joining place. She loved both of these beings more than anything in the world, and she enjoyed loving them and hearing their need spiral upward for her. She would miss this.

Pushing those thoughts aside, she left the muscles of his chest as she felt Martouf take control. Leaning over, she took his lips in a long, gently teasing kiss before moving down his throat, nipping lightly in all his most sensitive places, then stopping for a moment to spread soft kisses across his chest she moved from there to the hard muscles of his abdomen. Soon she heard him moan deeply, "Samantha, you know I have no defense against this, why do you do this to me? You almost never do it to Lantash," Martouf complained, but it was obvious that he would not stop her even if he could. The sensation was too delicious.

Looking up at him, and for a moment leaving her task, Sam laughed lightly, as she said, "That is true, but then, there are other things that I do to Lantash that I do not often do to you. He can resist this longer than you can, so it is more fun to do it to you. You, on the other hand, can resist longer when I tease and love your throat and shoulders, but he cannot," she explained between kisses. Then she turned back to the job she had started with hands that worked wonders on his body and kisses that drove him near the edge.

He reached down in desperation to remove her before he exploded, but she evaded him. "No more, please. I cannot take anymore, and Lantash is refusing to take over," he gasped. "I need you, my Samantha, I need you very much."

"Not yet, I haven't finished what I was doing," she said, as she proceeded to move slowly up his body, leaving soft kisses and little nips in all the right places to have him moaning in desperate need.

Once he was at this point, Lantash was no doubt moaning to Martouf to stop her, or take her, but either way, to do something to stop this unbearable torment and torture, for he was always sensitive to this, and by now, she would be driving him wild.

"Dear Universe, Samantha, I am almost undone. You must allow me to rest," Martouf complained.

Finally moving away from nipping the hardened muscles of his chest, she moved up to his throat, only to roll him away from her, onto his stomach. "Samantha, no, please do not," he gasped, as he clenched the sheets tightly, right before she began to kiss, and then lave, the back of his neck, nipping lightly, and then sucking, at first gently, and then more firmly as she moved up and down his spine. She could feel Lantash first quiver, and then shiver a little harder. Soon, it turned into almost constant trembling. She could hear Martouf gasping for breath, as the exquisitely intensified sensations sent shocks of almost painful pleasure through them.

She was not, of course, actually touching Lantash, but the arousal of their shared body, had made him very sensitive to any stimulation. As she touched the skin and flesh nearest to him, it sent that stimulation directly into his body, or it felt as if it did. In his highly sensitized state, it felt as if she was touching him directly, and the depth of the physical response surged through them both. Martouf could not control his reaction; he wanted his wife, and he wanted to make love to her!

She was not, of course, actually touching Lantash, but the arousal of their shared body, had made him very sensitive to any stimulation. As she touched the skin and flesh nearest to him, it sent that stimulation directly into his body, or it felt as if it did. In his highly sensitized state, it felt as if she was touching him directly, and the depth of the physical response surged through them both. Martouf could not control his reaction; he wanted his wife, and he wanted to make love to her!

She continued her pleasuring of Lantash with her lips, breath, and tongue, for a while longer, until they were moaning in near desperation. It would not take much more now, and they would become the aggressor and take control.

"Samantha, I can no longer endure this torment," Martouf finally panted, as he reached to pull her down beside him. He could take no more of her erotic torture and had taken control from her. Lying back, she looked up at him through eyes made heavy with passion.

"Then you must take me, Martouf, so that we can both have what we need," She told him softly. "Come to me my loves and make us all whole once more."

She did not need to encourage him twice and soon they both made their leap into the little abyss.

Sliding over to lie beside her, he wrapped her in his arms and smiled as he felt their child move between them. They never tired of feeling that, it was such a miracle for them. Their activity had set the little one to moving around too. He placed his hand over the child and rubbed gently, soothingly. Only two and a half months to go.

Soon they would have to stop having relations, but not quite yet. Janet had assured them that there was no problem as long as Sam's health stayed as excellent as it was. They would miss it, but good health or not, they would not endanger their Samantha by continuing to have relations with her, if it began to cause her discomfort, or if it appeared to disturb the child too much. So far, it only caused it to be a little active and it soon settled. Moreover, one could never be sure that it would cause no problems. He and Lantash had discussed it, and they had decided that in a week or so they should probably refrain. It would be hard, but much as they enjoyed it, the joy would be gone if they caused problems to arise that would not have appeared at all if they had just controlled their physical appetites. He sighed and cuddled them as closely as he could. They would tell Samantha of their decision soon. No doubt, she would protest, but she was not thinking clearly, and it was up to them to make logical, sane decisions.

Sam held them tightly. Damn, she was going to miss them.

* * *

"What do you mean Samantha is gone? Gone where?" Lantash demanded furiously. "How could this happen? How could she simply leave without anyone knowing? I find it incomprehensible that she could leave by the Chaappa'ai, and not one person noticed that she was planning to do so. This is unacceptable," he said forcefully.

Janet Fraiser sighed. She had known this interview was going to be bad, but she had not realized how bad. It was not only Lantash and Martouf that were stunned and angry, but Jack O'Neill as well. He, too, did not understand how Sam could just walk out of the SGC with no one knowing she was going. Daniel was stunned, but unlike the other two, he was not angry. Teal'c appeared to be neither stunned nor angry. He simply seemed accepting of Sam's disappearance, as if he was not even surprised. She wondered briefly if he knew she was going and where but quickly discarded that thought. It was highly unlikely, as Sam would not have put him in such an awkward situation with his team and the General.

She sighed to herself once more. At least, Sam had left a letter telling them she was okay. That was not appeasing Lantash though. Janet really thought he could literally bite through a nail right now if given one. She had never seen him in a rage and fervently hoped that Martouf could control him, or one furious dangerous Tok'Ra might single-handedly destroy the entire base. At this moment, she believed he was capable of searching the entire universe for Sam, and heaven help her when he found her. Dear God, he was almost beyond rage. No one in the room was making any movement at all. No one wanted to be the spark that burned that last bit of fuse and allowed the keg of gunpowder to blow.

"Lantash, perhaps Martouf should…" Janet began softly, only to have Lantash interrupt her before she even finished her sentence.

"I _rarely_ destroy things when I am angry, Dr. Fraiser," Lantash said, his voice arctic. "Martouf, on the other hand, tends to break things. Contrary to your assumptions, it is I who am controlling him, not the other way around," he bit out caustically and somewhat bitterly. It was only too obvious to him what they thought of him.

"I'm sorry; I had no right to make that assumption," Janet apologized, as she realized what she, and no doubt the rest of them, had automatically assumed. Because they had never _seen_ Martouf really angry was no reason to assume that he was the calmer of the two of them. Looking at the bleakness in Lantash's eyes, she ached to comfort him. Since she could not do that, she did the only thing she could. "I mean that, Lantash. I had no right to make unwarranted assumptions. You have never given me any reason to assume that you would be violent when you were angry, and, in fact, the opposite is true. I have seen you very disturbed and under stress and, while you were passionate in what you said, you were very much in control of yourself. Again, I apologize," she reiterated softly.

Drawing a breath and obviously controlling himself even more than he had been, he answered her, "I accept your apology, Janet. Moreover, you do not know me, or the Tok'Ra, well, so your assumption was an understandable mistake. No offense is taken."

Turning from her to the General, he said, "I am waiting for an explanation, as well as any other information you have managed to accumulate since she left. I assume," he said, his voice once again frigid, "that there have been inquiries made? You have contacted the Tok'Ra, your other allies, and the Asgard? You are aware that the fact that she is carrying _our_ child makes her a prime target for capture, not only by the System Lords, but also by your own N.I.D? Why else would we be living on this base instead of in Samantha's home? Did not you all point these things out when you convinced us to stay on base and went to the trouble to construct a suitable habitation here for us? Those realities have not changed since we moved in and took up residence here."

Janet paled as those thoughts, while nebulously in the back of her mind, had not been allowed to take root. General Hammond shook his head. "She left letters, Lantash. There was one for me, and one for you. I suggest you read yours as it might hold more information than mine did. I am afraid mine was a request for an extended leave with an enclosed letter of resignation should I refuse the leave. She also explained how she planned her, ah, escape. That is her word, not mine. She did not want the technicians blamed, and, in fact, they could not stop her. She made sure there was only one on duty and sent him to the cafeteria while she watched the control room. Unfortunately, the tech arrived back as the wormhole shut down. She overrode the computer so there is no record of where she went. We were hoping your letter had more information."

"You did not open it to ascertain where she went? Surely if she left information, you looked into it?" Lantash asked, surprised they had not read her letter to him.

"From what she said in my letter, it was obvious that she had planned this for quite some time. Therefore, we knew that no kidnapping had taken place, no abduction, no capture. Under the circumstances, since we had no reason to assume foul play, and your letter was sealed, it was decided that what she wrote to you was of a private nature and not for us to see," General Hammond said quietly.

Lantash sighed. The Tau'ri need for privacy. Furthermore, the General was correct, of course. With every indication that this was Samantha's choice, they had no reason to invade that privacy, and she would have been very upset if anyone had opened a letter meant for their eyes alone.

"_How can you say that? They should have begun to search at once and recalled us immediately. By now, the trail is very cold. She has been gone for several days. Lantash, we must do something,"_ Martouf bit out, his anger and his fear warring with one another to be the uppermost emotion. He felt as if he could personally tear the universe apart looking for her. He also felt as if his entire world was crashing around him. He was on the edge of panic, and only Lantash and their need for information was holding him together.

"_Please calm down, Martouf. I believe that once we read our letter, we will discover that it is our…my…fault she left so abruptly."_

_"Samantha loves us. Why would she leave us? That makes no sense,"_ Martouf now sounded bewildered.

_"We shall see, but I believe we will find that our…my…refusal to so much as consider her wish to return to the tunnels is the reason she has left. That and our being, perhaps, somewhat overprotective. Therefore, since I was the one to refuse her last request to return to the tunnels so unequivocally, this can be laid directly at my feet,"_ Lantash replied stoically.

_"But…"_

_"No, Martouf,"_ he said firmly, _"We shall read our letter before we speculate further."_

Martouf sighed. Lantash was right. Only Samantha knew why she had done this. He watched as the General handed him the letter. Aware of the eyes of everyone in the room on them, he was not surprised when Lantash did not at once open the letter. However, he _was_ surprised when he simply turned and walked out of the room without so much as a word. He headed for their quarters with the letter clutched convulsively in his hand. Upon entering their rooms, the scent that was Samantha surrounded, enveloped, and assaulted them.

"_Lantash! Lantash, please, do not grieve so. We will find her. Lantash!"_ Martouf tried desperately to get his attention. He was immediately distracted from his own anger and fear by Lantash's reaction. Never, in all of their years together, had he known his symbiote to react in such a way to anything or any situation.

Closing the door and locking it, Lantash had turned, leaned his back against it for a moment, and then holding his breath, he had slowly sunk down, until he was almost to the floor. He fell the rest of the way and was on his knees, his pain, fear, and desolation so raw, intense, and wild, that Martouf was frightened for both of them. Never had Lantash released such waves of anguish into their shared consciousness. It was nearly unbearable and, so intensely painful that, for several moments, it actually stole their breath away.

_"Please, Lantash, please do not do this to us. We must think; we must read her letter, and we must find her. You cannot let your feelings affect us this way. We need your abilities and your knowledge to help us find her. We need your personal inner strength, that same strength that helped us survive the loss of Rosha and Jolinar. I love you, and I need you. Please, Lantash, please do not grieve so, dear one. We will find her, and she will be well. We must believe that. We will find her, I promise you. Please, come back to me," _Martouf spoke softly to Lantash, sending him waves of love and caring, soothing him and comforting him, his own anger now almost completely gone in this need to care for his other mate.

Holding him from within, he continued to soothe and caress him, kissing him softly, and bathing him in comfort and love. He released a feeling of relief, when Lantash drew in a deep shuddering breath, and wiping his face on his sleeve, stood and walked to the bed. His shaking began to abate, and he sat stiffly, forcing himself to become calm once again.

_"I am sorry, Martouf. I should not have allowed myself to react in such a way. There is no excuse for frightening you in that manner," _Lantash apologized quietly.

_"You do not need to apologize, Lantash. You have as much right to react with despair and sorrow, anger and shock, or any other emotion you wish to express, as I do. So long as I can call you back from that edge, I do not mind. After all, you have been swamped by my feelings since we were informed that Samantha has - has, left us," _as Martouf said the words the accompanying pain was so great it felt as if his heart was torn in two.

Riding out that pain, he allowed other emotions to come forward and his anger and fear began to build, but this time he forcibly tamped it down. Remembering how the negative emotions that had rampaged through Lantash had frightened him, he realized that he was responsible for helping to control their joined emotions; he could not leave it all to Lantash. If Lantash's emotions had affected him so badly, then no doubt, his emotions were impacting Lantash almost as much. They must both be careful and strong for the other.

_"We should read what Samantha had to say, Lantash,"_ he finally urged him gently.

_"Yes."_ Lantash looked at the envelope that had both his and Martouf's names written on the front. Slowly, he opened the sealed envelope and pulled out the letter.

TBC


	2. I Am Sorry 2 BRSP

**_Chapter Summary: _**_Martouf and Lantash read Sam's note and begin to try to come to terms with her departure…and why she departed in the first place. However, understanding and accepting are two different things. However, the letter points them to Daniel, saying that he would be able to figure it out if they could not. Daniel does have an idea of where she might have gone, but he believes that Martouf and Lantash need to be able to figure that out for themselves. They make plans that they hope will help them to do so as they put their faith and hope in Daniel and his insight and abilities._

_**"Italics" -**__ Symbiote-Host communications_

* * *

_**Breathing Space**_

**_Chapter Two_**

**_I am Sorry_**

* * *

Lantash sat looking at the folded piece of paper in his hand wondering what he would find in it. Did she no longer love them? Was this a letter of good-bye? No, his Samantha was not a coward; if she no longer loved them, she would tell them to their face, not on a piece of paper. Besides, she did love them, they knew this in the deepest part of their hearts, and this letter would say nothing of lost love; However, hopefully, it would explain her motives and reasons behind her departure.

_"I am sure you are correct, Lantash. Samantha loves us. We know that. We must not allow our imagination to hold sway. Open the letter, and let us read it, dear one," _Martouf urged gently.

He felt Lantash sigh, before he answered, softly, _"I know you are correct. I know she loves us. I know I must open and read it to see if she has told us where she is." _His hands shaking slightly, he moaned as the emotional pain hit him again, before telling Martouf,_ "However, never have I found something that appears so simple in thought, to be so difficult to do in reality. Nonetheless, no matter how hard I find it to be, I will do so now,"_ he finished firmly, as he slowly unfolded the letter and began to read.

My dearest loves,

First and foremost, I must tell you that I love both of you just as much as, if not more than, I always have. The second thing I must tell the two of you is that I am so sorry. Those are the things I wish you both to know above all else. I love you both and I am sorry.

I know that by the time you get this letter, I will be wondering what possessed me to do what I have done. Except, right now, at this moment, as I am writing this, I know exactly why I am taking these steps, and that is what I have to try to explain to you.

Please do not think this is your fault, or Janet's, or Daniel's, or Jack's, or anyone else you can think of that might have caused it. The fault, if there is fault, is mine.

For some reason, I seem to have lost my ability to make people understand what I mean or want. I no longer seem to have the capability to speak clearly or plainly enough that people can hear me and know that I mean what I am saying. People no longer believe that I still a have a mind, and that I know what I want and/or need. I think it is my fault that I can no longer make people hear me. I am sure it has something to do with the hormones raging through my body, as that is what everyone keeps assuring me, that are causing all kinds of odd things that are happening to me. If food cravings, crying jags, and nausea can be hormonal, then I am sure my sudden inabilities to communicate my needs are, too.

I am sorry. I am well aware that the above paragraph is ridiculous. Unfortunately, for us, I have been feeling that way. Not just today, or yesterday, but for weeks and weeks, now. It is as if I no longer exist. My body exists. Everyone is very cognizant of that fact. No, there is no doubt, whatsoever, that my body is real and present. If fact, it is pregnant and carrying a very, very, special child. A miracle child. And I am really, really, glad. I want this baby. I want another one after it is born. I want to be cuddled when I cry and comforted when I am sick. I want my body to be cared for and the precious cargo it is carrying to be fine and healthy.

What I do not want is for Sam Carter to disappear and become invisible. I do not want people to become suddenly deaf when I tell them what I need or want. I do not want this miracle baby to become a scientific oddity to be studied, prodded, and poked either before, or after, it is born. I do not want my opinions, my thoughts, my feelings, and my needs to become suddenly unimportant, irrelevant, irrational, insignificant, immaterial, trivial, or just plain wrong, for the simple reason that I am pregnant. Being pregnant, no matter what anyone believes to the contrary, does not equal stupid, silly, incompetent, incapable, inept, foolish, or inefficient.

I am so sorry. I tried, I really, truly tried to tell you, but I could not break out of the mold into which I have been placed. I tried and tried to explain to Janet, to Daniel, even to Jack and the General. But, no one could hear me. Or, if they did, they wrote it off to my hormones.

So, I am sorry. I did not want it to come to this. I did not want to leave you. God, I miss you both so much, already.

I need you, Lantash. I know you have control while you are reading this, because Martouf is so angry at me he would hurt himself, or destroy something, if you gave him control. I know you are giving him counsel, love, and support. I know and trust you to care for him and give him your strength of will. You will be in such pain, Lantash, because of me, and I am so sorry. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was to cause you this kind of pain. Just thinking about the amount of pain that I must be causing you is hurting me so much that it is making me feel ill. You cannot possibly know how very much I love you, for I do not have the words to express its depth. I hope you can eventually forgive me for inflicting so much pain on you. I did not want this for you, for us. I love, need, and want you always, Lantash. You are my universe.

I need you, Martouf. I know you are looking over Lantash's shoulder, reading this with him, and holding him, comforting him, perhaps kissing and caressing him to help him to cope. Even though you are extremely angry, I know you are caring for him. You are assuring him the two of you will find me, and I pray you will because I don't think I can stand to be gone from you for long. It has already been too long, and I have not even left the mountain or walked through the Stargate. I will tell you the same things I told Lantash. I never wanted to hurt you, to cause you so much pain, or make you so angry. I know how you despise becoming furious and all I can offer is an apology. I am sorry. It seems inadequate. I hope that you, too, will someday be able to bring yourself to forgive me and, perhaps, understand why I had to leave. I love, need, and want you always, Martouf. You are my world.

I wish I was less independent, less decisive, and more what you need me to be. I do realize that my inability to accept being taken care of so completely is, at least partially, at the bottom of this. If I could just relax and accept it, as the General suggested, it would not be a problem. But I do not seem to be able to do that, and while that may be a flaw in me, evidently it is one I cannot overcome. I did try; I really did. You have no idea how upset I am at myself because I failed in my attempt to change for you. I hope I haven't upset you so much you won't come for me. I really need you both so much, even now. I guess in some ways, perhaps you are correct and I am not thinking clearly; I feel that I have to leave, and yet, I also want you to come for me as soon as possible, because I want, I need, to be with you, near you. It is tearing me apart inside.

But in the end, that does not really matter at all. Regardless of my need of you, please, do not come for me until you can hear me and see me, because as much as I cannot stand to live without you in my life; I cannot stand to live with you without me in your life. I know you think you have no clue as to where I am, but once you begin to believe me and understand, then you will be able to find me. If all else fails, ask Daniel. No, I did not tell him that I was making plans to leave, so he cannot know where I was going, but he is very astute. Trust him, Lantash. Believe in him, Martouf. Daniel can help you if you will only allow him to.

Remember that I do love you both very, very much. Please try to understand. And come to me, my loves. Soon. I am waiting for you.

Your Samantha.

P.S. Please don't be angry anymore. I am really sorry, and by now I am crying myself to sleep every night, missing you. Hurry. S.C.

They read the letter through a second and third time before Martouf sighed, and said, _"So you were correct, Lantash. It is our fault she has left us,"_ Martouf sounded bewildered, hurt, and confused as he commented on the letter's contents. _"Did we truly treat her as if she did not exist? Surely, we did not. We made love to her the morning we left on our mission. Very passionately. In fact, she…"_ Martouf stopped speaking, and Lantash knew that he, too, had realized why Samantha had loved them so very lovingly and passionately that morning. She had known she would be gone when they returned.

_"She is not telling us we did not see her physical body, Martouf. You are refusing to see the truth. I can feel you retreating from the real meanings in this letter. At no point did she say we did not love her, or not desire her. Our physical desire was probably the only thing that allowed her to remain with us as long as she did. Had we insisted that stop, too, then no doubt she would have left before now. You must be honest with yourself. And we both must admit the truth. By not attending to her needs, rather than our own, we have forced her to run from us before we smothered her, and her love of us, to death," _Lantash stated bluntly.

Martouf sighed, and Lantash could feel the waves of remorse that flowed through him, as he began to accept, at least temporarily, the words Samantha had written. _"Are you saying that she no longer loves us, Lantash? She says she loves us in the letter. Do you believe she was not telling us the truth?"_ Martouf asked, apprehension again coloring his voice, but this time it was a different kind of nightmare. He could not bear to lose their Samantha's love, and as Lantash's words slowly sank in, he realized what could, and indeed might already have, happened.

_"No, I am not saying that she no longer loves us. What I am saying is that she left us so that her love would remain. Our actions could have caused her to become so resentful of us that it killed her love for us. Thank the Universe that she had enough sense to see that it could happen and decided to do something about it before that came to pass, before her resentment turned her emotions against us. You know as well as I do that it could have happened, if she had not taken action, and talking to us obviously was not working. She probably felt it was the only way left open to her to save our bonding, our relationship. No doubt she was afraid of what would happen, if things did not change,_" Lantash replied, all the bitterness, guilt, and shame he was feeling coming through in his tone. Unfortunately, he also realized that below all of those emotions…the fear remained.

_"You are right, of course, but I am sorry, Lantash, I cannot yet be thankful that she did this to save our relationship. I will be thankful when she is home, in our arms, and loving us. I am afraid there is still to much anger and fear within me to be thankful, or appreciate, what she has done. Would it not have been better if she had simply become angry and yelled at us to stop what we were doing?"_ Martouf wanted to know, his distress once again making inroads, as he thought of all the things that could have happened to the woman they loved so much.

_"Tell me, Martouf, would we have listened if she had become angry and upset over any of this? What if she had become so upset she cried? Or so angry that she cried? What if she had become angry, thrown things, yelled, and screamed at us? How would we have reacted?" _Lantash demanded, his voice hard.

_"I – I do not really know, Lantash. Perhaps, we would have listened more carefully to what she was saying. Perhaps, we would have tried harder to see that she was given what she needed,"_ Martouf replied, but it was obvious that he was doubtful.

Lantash snorted at his answer. _"We would have let her rant, rave, scream, and cry. We would have promised her that things would change; we would have taken her into our arms and loved her physically, while we completely ignored her emotional needs. We would have done nothing different from what we have already done. We would have warned people to be less obvious for a day or so, to be more discreet in their monitoring of her. We would have blamed her hormones for her emotional outburst and ignored it, just as we have ignored every request she has made. At least, I know that I would have. I have done it over and over, and I have no reason to believe that I would react any differently to an angry Samantha than I would at any other time," was his implacable answer. _Lantash was brutally honest about what his own response would have been.

Martouf was quiet for a moment, before saying softly, _"Stop blaming yourself, Lantash. We agreed on our actions, all of them. I, too, refused to let her go to the Tok'Ra and made sure that she was never alone or lonely. In fact, I am the one that talked to the people in the cafeteria about being sure she ate well-balanced meals. You are no more to blame than I am. If there is blame to be laid, then it must be laid on both of us equally."_

Feeling the bleakness of despair begin to overtake Lantash again, Martouf continued, _"I believe we must take this letter to the others, Lantash. There is nothing in it so private that it would be inappropriate for them to see it."_

After pausing for a moment, still feeling the dark emotions trying to overtake them, and receiving no answer, he said, _"Lantash, you must not allow your desolation to take over, for I depend on you to help me, and you must see to it that I do not allow my feelings to overwhelm us either, for you depend on me. We must comfort and help each other, Lantash, please. I love you. Do not abandon me."_

Realizing what he was doing, Lantash responded by forcing himself to push the bleak, black, emotional abyss that he was staring into, away, _"I am sorry. You are correct, of course, and we do depend on one another. Thank you. And I agree about showing it to the others. Samantha says that if we cannot figure out where she has gone to ask Daniel. More than that, she counsels us to trust and believe in him and his abilities. Even so, putting that aside, I see no point in a futile search for her. I have no idea where she might have gone and, if Daniel might know then, we should ask him first. Perhaps later, I will be able to think more clearly and so shall you, but at the moment neither of us is capable of sensible thought. Therefore, we will turn to our…friends. They have become our friends, and they will help us, if we ask. So, that is what we will do." _Having come to a decision, he stood and started walking toward the door.

Feeling the determination enter Lantash, Martouf gave a sigh of relief. He then embraced his symbiote. He would be more careful of the emotions he released. Lantash needed him in this crisis and he needed Lantash. They would go and see the others, and then they would begin their search for Samantha hoping all the while that wherever she had chosen to go, she was safe. She had to be safe. No other thought was acceptable.

Lantash and Martouf walked back towards the General's office, where they learned that Samantha was gone from them. No doubt, the group would have dispersed by now and would have to be recalled to read the letter.

_"I am sure they will not mind being recalled, Lantash,"_ Martouf said softly. _"They all care very much for Samantha. It is their caring and ours that has brought this about."_ He paused for a moment, before asking, _"Lantash, did Samantha not realize that we were only concerned because we love her? That everything everyone has done was only done for love of her? Why is she rejecting our love in this way?"_

Lantash sighed, saying, _"She is not rejecting our love of her. She is rejecting being smothered. Yes, what was done, was done out of love for her, but put yourself in her place. How would you feel?"_

Martouf was quiet for a moment, _"You mean how would I feel if she never let us out of her sight and insisted that we always had someone with us? If she insisted, we ate certain things and slept when she told us to? If she insisted we did not really know what we wanted, and that she knew what we wanted better than we did? And any other of the things we did because we love her?"_ He paused, frowning as he actually listened to what he had said and truly considered how he would feel. _"I would hate it."_

_"Yes. So would I," Lantash agreed. "It is too bad we did not put ourselves in her place before now and thus realize it sooner," _he replied morosely, as he raised his hand and knocked on the General's office door. It had taken them some time to become used to living among private rooms, but now that they were used to it, they had to admit they were nice to have. No wonder Jacob hated the openness of the tunnels.

Hearing the general's voice tell them to enter, he opened the door and was surprised to see the same group of people still seated around the room. He looked at them blankly, unable to understand why they were all still there.

The General cleared his throat, and said quietly, "We thought you might be back after you had some time to read the letter and be alone for a while. Do you know where she has gone, son?"

Martouf knew at once that General Hammond was upset. He only called them son during times of extreme emotional distress. His or theirs, he knew. This time he was sure it was both.

Realizing that Martouf now had his emotions under a very tight control, Lantash released to him as he approached General Hammond. While they had all become somewhat used to Lantash and his rather dry wit, his sometimes acerbic ways, and often stoic manner, they still usually appeared more comfortable with Martouf. Whether they were simply startled by the glowing eyes, or were just not yet sure how to take his statements, it was simpler and more comfortable for everyone involved, to let them deal with Martouf. Thank the universe that Samantha was not uncomfortable with him. In fact, she seemed to revel in being with him, and it was a balm to him at times, here amongst the Tau'ri. Martouf was aware of it, also, and he often made sure that Lantash spent time in control when they were with Samantha. Possibly more time than he would ordinarily be in control.

Martouf handed the letter to the General who looked at him with raised brows. "There is nothing there of an intimate or extremely private nature, General Hammond. The more private statements that she made are already well known by everyone here today, so I see no reason not to share it. Other than the…more personal statements, it simply explains why she left as she did," Martouf said quietly, before turning and taking a seat. He sat quietly staring at the wall as the General finished the letter. "Please pass it on to the others, and I would prefer Daniel had it last, as he is the one she pointed us to for information, help, and," he paused briefly before adding, "and support."

The General nodded and handed the letter off, while Daniel looked startled. "Why me? I mean, of course I will help you and give you all of the support I can," he assured them first before adding, "but, well, I don't know anything more than anyone else knows."

"She was very clear that she told you nothing about her plans, Daniel, but she said that if we could not figure out where she was to ask you. She said that you were very astute and that we should trust you, which we do. Neither Lantash nor I see any point in playing a guessing game and looking all over the universe, if you will be able to figure out where she has gone. The sooner we find her the sooner..." He stopped talking as he realized he had almost said; _the sooner they would bring her back._ _Had he learned nothing?_ Taking a deep breath, he concluded his statement, saying, "the sooner we can take her home to the Tok'Ra Tunnels, where she has been asking us to take her now for weeks. Once I find her, this time, I will listen to what she is saying," he stated grimly.

"Do not take the blame completely on yourself, Martouf. We were all guilty of not listening to her. As she stated, she even tried to talk to me. I told her to relax and enjoy being coddled," General Hammond sighed. Shaking his head he continued, "All of us were blind and deaf to what she was saying. Sam Carter is a brilliant, dedicated, and decisive woman. We all should have known she meant what she was saying and that she knew her own mind. We screwed up, and I just hope that nothing happens to her. We need to get her back safe and sound, and whether that is here, or in the Tunnels, is irrelevant."

Lantash came to the fore to accept the blame, asserting, "I agree up to a point, General, however, the truth is that, in the end, the blame lies squarely on my shoulders. She has told me these same things repeatedly, and I have failed to hear her each time. Oh, I paid lip service to what she asked of me. I would ask Janet not to run any more tests for a few days. I would have her assistant make herself scarce for a day or so as long as we were on base and could be in her lab with her instead. I agreed to assign Nyan to her, even knowing she was feeling crowded by what we were doing."

"And I am the one who refused to consider her request each time she asked to return to the Tunnels. I even refused to take her for a visit or allow her to go there without me so that she could see Tashmar and visit with her friends. Looking back, I can see that if I had just let her go, even if only for a few days, it probably would have relieved many of her feelings of being smothered. But I did not, and now Martouf and I shall pay the price for my blindness and stubbornness," Lantash's voice was bleak with pain and regret by the time he finished speaking.

_"It is not all your fault, Lantash. I am equally to blame. I could have stopped this, too. I would have refused to take her to the tunnels, so even that is not simply your decision."_ Martouf assured him.

_"Thank you, Martouf, but I know what I have done."_

"We decided she should not go through the gate, Lantash. We don't know what affect it will have on the baby. I am concerned that…"

Lantash interrupted her, knowing what she was going to say, and realizing that there was no point in allowing her to do so. "Please excuse me, Janet; however, while you did not want Samantha to go through the gate, I went along with you only because it was easier. Women have been traveling though the gate while they were with child for millennia with no adverse affects. I realize your race has not done so, but many peoples all over the universe have used it with no ill effects. I should not have agreed, knowing there was no danger, but it seemed easier not to argue the point. It was my mistake; I take full responsibility for it. We should not have tried to confine her in such a way. It was wrong of us."

Janet stared at him as his words sank in and then she nodded abruptly. "You are probably right, but I have no data to base an opinion on. I could not, in good conscience allow her to go."

"That is very true, but I could have with no qualms at all. I did not, so as I pointed out, the blame is mine."

Janet sighed, at last admitting, "No, it is also mine. I should have listened to you. You have seen two thousand years of gate travel. You would know if it was a problem. I just did not want her away from me and my medical care. I am sorry."

"You were doing what you perceived as your job. I should have overruled you, and I did not. It matters not at this point. Needless to say, when we get her back, I will not try to stop her."

Noticing that Daniel had finished reading the letter and laid it aside, a frown on his face, Martouf came fore to ask, "Do you know where she is, Daniel?"

"What? Oh, um, no, I, um, I have no idea," Daniel said quickly. "Listen; there is not anything I can do here to help you. I will give it some more thought, and it may come to me. I may want to talk to you and Lantash later though. I just want to let it kind of soak in first," he stated. Standing abruptly, he said, "I will talk to you all later," before, to everyone's astonishment, he hurriedly left the room.

There was a stunned silence in the room he left, before Jack said, "What is eating Daniel?"

No one answered. They all appeared puzzled by his behavior until Lantash came fore to say, "I would surmise that Daniel believes he knows where she has gone, but is not yet sure enough to tell us. I would also speculate that he is unsure of whether he wants to tells us, meaning Martouf and myself, for the most part, but probably all of us to some extent, once he is sure."

"Why wouldn't Daniel want to tell us, or you?" Janet asked.

"Because he read one line several times from what I could tell. I would guess it is the line that states that she would prefer we did not come to find her; at least, not until we are sure we can hear her. Daniel is not sure that any of us, perhaps including him, can hear her yet. We are all in shock right now. However, once that shock wears off, if she were here, would we revert to treating her as before? That, I believe, is what he is pondering," Lantash answered quietly. "I can only hope he figures out the answer soon and that it is in our favor, for I am not sure how long Martouf and I can stand not knowing if she is alright."

Janet looked at them for a moment and realized how very tense Martouf's body was. Both of them were barely holding on, and it would take very little to push one or both of them over the edge. "Lantash, do you believe that if you knew where she was that you and Martouf could leave her there? I mean, not go after her? Would it ease you to know that much even if you did not go after her right away?" She asked, as she watched them carefully.

"It would certainly help somewhat, Janet. I do not know how long I could keep from going after her, though. So, if you are asking me if I could contain myself, if Daniel told us where he believes she is, then the only truthful answer I can give you is that I do not know, but I would certainly try not to go after her immediately. I believe it would relieve some of the fear I am feeling for her safety if I knew that, wherever she went, she would be cared for and safe."

"Sooo, if Daniel knows, or is fairly sure he knows, and he tells you that she is someplace safe, it would help some?"

Lantash sighed deeply and closed his eyes. Dear Universe, could he leave it at that for a while? Could he stand not knowing exactly where she was? Yes. It would not set his mind and heart completely at peace, but it would make him feel somewhat better. "I believe that it would help for a short time. I do not know how long I would be able to go before having to know where she was, but if I was fairly certain that she was all right, then I think I could live with it for a few days," he answered her. "I cannot answer for Martouf, however, and he is still considering your question."

Martouf came forward and looked at her for a long moment, before saying, "Truthfully, I do not know; however, since Lantash could stop me from doing anything foolish, I could promise that I would not do anything that he would not."

He smiled wryly, then added, "One of the more pleasant aspect of the symbiote being able to take control of the host's body is that they can sometimes keep us from doing truly foolish things that would help no one, but that could potentially harm a great deal. I realize none of you finds that acceptable, but it is something that we learn to understand and appreciate. Just as Lantash suppressed me earlier, for had he not, there is no doubt that we would be under arrest, and perhaps owe you for some broken furniture. He was not lying to you when he told you that I tend to break things when I am in a rage. It is the reason I attempt to never allow myself to become that angry, but this caught me off guard, and I was very upset."

He sighed then, saying, "However, I do not believe in hitting women or those who could not fight back, so do not think I would ever take my anger out on Samantha. I do not believe in that, and I would never do so, regardless how angry I was. I tend to take it out on inanimate objects, unless, of course, it is a Goa'uld in which case I am more than happy to let my anger have its way," He reassured them, realizing what they could be thinking.

Janet nodded in understanding, but her answer, if she had one, was never spoken, as Daniel made his presence known. He stood in the open doorway, his head bowed, and his hands in his pockets.

"Lantash? Could I talk to you and Martouf? Maybe after you are finished here, if you would come to my office? I would like to ask you some questions about things Sam may have said to you. She may even have told you where she was going, just not in so many words."

"We can come at any time, Daniel. I do not believe there is anything else we can do here. We have all read the letter, and we all know why Samantha left. What none of us, except perhaps you, know, is where she has gone," Lantash answered him at once.

"Well, I think you do know where she has gone; I believe you just are not thinking clearly. Be sure you bring the letter when you come. I will make a pot of coffee," he stated quietly, before turning and leaving again.

Lantash and Martouf stood. It seemed that Daniel had at least decided to talk to them about it. Perhaps they would soon have some hope, or, if nothing else, some easing of their worry.

He turned to the people in the room before following Daniel, saying, "Martouf and I would like to thank you all for," he paused not sure how to say what he was feeling, but he forced himself to continue, "we would like to thank you all for standing our friends. Your support is very much appreciated, and we know that you all care very much for Samantha. You are as worried as we are; we realize that. You cannot blame us anymore than we blame ourselves, and the fact that you are being supportive, instead of reviling us, has gone neither unnoticed nor unappreciated."

Although he had said almost nothing before, Jack suddenly spoke up, commenting, "Carter loves both of you. If we have learned nothing else in the past few months, and I am not saying we haven't, we have learned that. You are part of our team. We take care of our own. We will find her. Daniel is damn smart when you give him a puzzle. He will figure it out, and he won't be able to watch you suffer, so I doubt if he will let you go long without telling you once he figures it out."

"Indeed, Lantash, I concur. Daniel Jackson is a very intelligent man, and he is very good at seeing things that others do not. I fully agree with O'Neill. We will find Major Carter. She would not have gone anywhere unsafe. I think we should all remember that she, too, is in fact, an exceptionally intelligent person, and that she wants this child very much. She would not take chances with its life or her own. Wherever she has gone, it is a safe place."

Lantash nodded, as he thought of what both men had said. They were right. Samantha was intelligent, and she wanted this child very much. She would never deliberately do anything to put it into jeopardy. "You are both correct, and I do not know why we did not think of it ourselves. Samantha is somewhere safe. She would never consider putting our child in danger because she was upset with us. Your comments alone have helped a great deal for they aided us in reining in our runaway imaginations. Thank you." Lantash said quietly.

"You're welcome. Go see what Daniel has to say. My bet is that he thinks he knows, but he needs some more info to be absolutely sure. We will see you later this evening. Now get outta here," Jack advised, somewhat gruffly.

Smiling slightly, for the first time since they had come back from their last mission, Lantash nodded and headed for Daniel's office. They were right, and Daniel probably held the key. He just hoped he would allow him to take it and unlock the door.

TBC


	3. That's What Friends Are For 3 BRSP

**_Chapter Three Summary:_**_ Martouf/Lantash meet with Daniel in his office and begin the process of elimination to see if they can figure out where Sam has gone. Then Daniel makes a startling suggestion and they decide it would be a good idea to take him up on it._

**_"Italics" -_**_ Symbiote-Host communication_

* * *

_**Breathing Space**_

**_Chapter Three_**

**_That's What Friends are For_**

* * *

Martouf walked briskly down the hall toward Daniel's office. Reaching it, he stood staring at the door making no move to knock.

_"We are here, Lantash,"_ he finally stated quietly.

_"Yes, we are, Martouf. What are we waiting for? Knock on the door. He is expecting us,"_ Lantash replied.

_"I know. It is just that, now that we are here, I am afraid he will not tell us anything."_ Lantash could hear the barely controlled fear in the quiver of Martouf's voice. His emotions were roiling, his calm gone for the moment.

_"Perhaps he will not today, but he will not let us be in this much pain for long, Martouf. I believe our…our friends are correct about that. Daniel is much too sensitive to put us through that, if he can help us. Now, knock on the door, or I will take over if you prefer,"_ Lantash soothed them both with his encouraging words.

_"Yes. Yes, please do so."_ Martouf paused and then as Lantash took over and lifted his hand to knock, he said, _"Wait! Wait. Before we go in there, I want to tell you something."_

_"What do you need, dear one?"_ Lantash asked him softly. He knew how very vulnerable they both were right now. It was imperative they give each other support.

_"That. Just that. I needed to hear your caring, and I need to tell you how much I appreciate the care you give to me, but I also need to tell you that I love you. I very much appreciate your strength of character. I know I can always depend on that strength, and I know it is not fair to you that I lean so heavily upon you. So, I at least wanted you to know how very much I care for you and appreciate what you do for me,"_ Martouf said, giving Lantash the unconditional love and support he needed as well.

He felt Lantash embrace and caress him from within as he whispered words of love to him. He assured him that they were indeed mated souls. He only hoped they found the part of their dual soul that had disappeared through the Chaappa'ai. Gathering their resolve, Lantash knocked on the door and opened it when Daniel called for them to enter. Perhaps their joined hearts would receive some healing here.

"Come on in and have a seat, Lantash. I will pour you some coffee," Daniel said quietly, as he looked up from the document he was reading.

They realized that Daniel always seemed to know which of them he was talking with, just as Samantha did. Teal'c, too, they had noticed, seemed able to tell them apart. Sometime, he would spend an evening with these two very different men and tell them how glad he was to call them both his friends. However, not now. Now, he needed to know what Daniel meant to do, and if he knew anything about where their  
Samantha could have gone.

Lantash sat in a chair near the desk and handed the letter to Daniel since he had requested that he bring it with him. He watched as he laid it to one side and went to pour the promised coffee.

While it was not his favorite beverage, he had become accustomed to it. It was such an integral part of the life-style here under the mountain that it would seem strange now not to have it. Sometimes he thought that Daniel lived on the bitter brew. He knew he did not of course, but it sometimes seemed as if he did.

From what he had been told, Samantha drank more of it before she became pregnant than she now did. She had gotten out of the habit during their stay in the tunnels, as had Daniel, but where Daniel had returned to the habit, because of her pregnancy and her morning sickness, Samantha had not. She was able to drink it now again, and they often had a cup together in the mornings, but she tended to drink more water than coffee now.

When they returned to the tunnels, he would have to take some with him. He would actually miss it and the tea that he and Samantha had in the evenings. Earl Grey. A strange name for a tea. He would need to take a curtain for their doorway, also, as Samantha would be uncomfortable with the open doorway. He felt the sharpness of loss at the thought of their morning cups of coffee, their evening tea, the feel of her body next to his at night, and the fact that she was no longer there to share that with him.

Of course, they had decided they must stop having sex with her so…he felt despair make its way through his consciousness. Evidently, even yet, he had learned nothing.

Samantha might not agree with them about that, and she would know if it was still safe. They must begin to trust her to know her own mind and body. He closed his eyes in anguish. Dear universe, if only he could wake up and find he was simply having a particularly terrifying night terror. That would not happen, though, for he was having this night terror, while he was awake, during the day; it was not going to end anytime soon. They must find her. They must.

He realized that Daniel had picked up the letter and opened it, but was watching him as he gazed into his coffee. Sighing he took a sip and then placed it on the desk.

"You said that you had some questions to ask us, Daniel. What do you wish to know?" He asked bringing up the subject they had come to discuss. "I am afraid that I am still not able to think very clearly, therefore, I have no idea of where she would have gone. I keep asking myself where she would hide, and I continue finding no answer. My mind is simply running in circles. I am hoping you can help me to focus my thoughts."

"Well, for one thing, I do not think she is hiding. I think she is simply looking for breathing space; for time away from being hovered over by _all _of us, not just you and Martouf. And, I think she told you where she was going. So, I think we need to go over some of your conversations for clues. Have you re-read the letter?"

"We read it several times when I first opened it. I feel sure I know what it says, but if you think I need to re-read it, I will do so."

Daniel shook his head, saying, "No, not at the moment, but I am sure you will read it again later, after the first shock wears off. Sometimes reading something like that at a later time, when we are thinking more clearly, allows something to register that did not the first few times through it. It may trigger something later."

"I agree, and I will try, Daniel, but I truly do not believe she told us where she was going. We did not even know she was contemplating doing this. If she had mentioned leaving for somewhere, we would remember it, I am sure, for we would have immediately told her she must not go. As you see," he said bitterly, "I am well aware of what our response would have been, and I fully understand that it is that attitude that has caused this."

Daniel shook his head. "Do _not_ take all the blame on yourselves, Lantash. You and Martouf were not the only unreasonable people in this situation. The rest of us didn't help matters either. I am just as guilty as the rest, if not more so. I should have realized we were smothering Sam. I know her very well, and I should have seen this coming."

"As for her telling you where she went, I don't mean she came right out and told you. I mean she might have mentioned some place, or someone recently that would mean she had them on her mind. If she has been thinking of anyone in particular, then that could be a clue that she was considering going there, and she is hoping you will remember that she mentioned them, maybe that she would like to see them again.

Lantash frowned as he tried to remember any of their recent conversations in which she had mentioned someone by name. The only place she had mentioned that she wanted to go to was the Tok'Ra, and that was out of the question. She would expect him to contact them at once, so if she wanted him to come to terms with his actions she would not go there, where he would no doubt find her at once. No, there must be some other place she had mentioned.

"It doesn't even have to have been recent, Lantash. She has been planning this for quite some time, so think very carefully about anyone or any place she has mentioned."

"She mentioned Kynthia and Argos not long after the wedding. She mentioned that she hoped something developed between the Colonel and Kynthia, but if not her, then perhaps Laira. Surely, she would not have gone to either of those planets, Daniel? They are very primitive compared to earth or the Tok'Ra. There would be no medical help available if something went wrong. I do not believe she would go where she would endanger herself or the child."

Daniel shook his head as Lantash continued to become more distraught. "She is not planning on being gone so long that it would be a problem, but I don't think she would have gone there. Although she might have gone to check on the two girls that we placed on Argos, I suppose, and she did enjoy it there. She liked Kynthia, Alekos and his wife. I suppose it would give her a place where she would be accepted unconditionally. It just doesn't seem right, though," he murmured, as he again shook his head and looked at Lantash as he made his statement.

Sensing that they were still feeling overwhelmed, he said, "I really do not believe she is planning on being gone for very long, Lantash. I believe she expects you to come to terms with this and find her before too much time passes. Look at it this way, Sam loves you, she trusts you to face your fears and overcome them, and then come for her. She knows you can do it, or she would not have done this, in this way. Trust her and trust in yourself."

Lantash nodded that he understood what Daniel was saying, and forced his mind back to the topic at hand. "She has discussed the civilization you came across where their children were injected with nanobots to accelerate their ability to learn and also the planet where the virus caused you all to regress. I do not believe she would choose to go to the latter, but the first seemed to be advanced and fairly safe. Would she have gone there?"

"The girl she bonded with was called Merrin. I doubt she would have gone there. We have stayed in contact with them, but our worlds are not close, and there were no adults there that Sam knows well enough that she could just go for a visit."

"All right, what of the Tollan? You are still on friendly terms with them, are you not? Moreover, she and Narim were…attracted at one time. Is it possible that she would have gone there?"

Daniel shrugged, as he tried to lead Lantash to reach the only possible conclusion. "They are a possibility. They have very advanced technology, so she would be well cared for physically. Nevertheless, the only one she really connected with was Narim. Do you think she would have gone to him?"

After giving his idea some thought and listening to input from Martouf, he replied, "It seems unlikely, as you say, but she did become very close to the two young women, and since Narim has asked Serata to become his life-partner, she might have gone to them."

Daniel acknowledged that information as being true. "I think she would have gone to see Serata, before she would have gone to Narim, and since Serata is staying on Argos until their life-partner ceremony, I can't bring myself to believe she would have gone there." He simply did not believe it, but he dropped it for the moment. He had planted the doubts and their quick minds would do the rest.

Lantash was not ready to abandon the topic yet, though, as another thought was brought to him by Martouf, _"What of the Nox, Lantash? The Tollan know how to contact the Nox."_

Taking Martouf's suggestion, he turned his attention back outwards, and said to Daniel, "All right, so we know that she might have gone to the Tollan, but we do not think it likely. However, we did not consider the Nox. She could not get to the Nox world, unless she went there from Tollana. We know that the Tollan contacted them for her before, and that she is very attached to Lya and Nafrayu."

He paused in thought before asking, "Would she perhaps have tried to make her way to their world, Daniel? If the Tollan contacted Lya and Nafrayu and she requested sanctuary from them, would they not grant it to her?" Lantash asked as his mind followed the logical trail from the Tollan to the Nox. "They would give her all the space she needs and it would no doubt be a safe, as well as a peaceful place. And they would take great care of her, I believe. So, it is the most logical place for her to have gone." Watching them carefully, Daniel could see them convincing themselves that Sam could be with the Nox. He was going to allow them to think it was a possibility, although he did not think so. Nor did he think it would really take very long for them to realize it was impractical. The reality was that even though Daniel could probably answer most of their questions, if they could not come up with answers themselves, then they would never be ready to let Sam breathe.

Right on cue, Lantash asked, "But, how did she expect me to find her there? Why would she tell me to come for her knowing I could not do so? Would she expect me to go to the Tollan? Is that where I need to go, Daniel?" He asked, sounding almost bewildered.

Daniel shook his head. "I think we could keep it as a possibility if you think it is logical and something Sam might do, but we should not rush right out and go to the Tollan just yet. I think both of us doubt it was her destination. Let's see if you can think of any other places first."

Sighing tiredly, Lantash agreed, before asking, "Could she have tried to contact the Asgard, Daniel? Their medical knowledge is very advanced. She would feel the child was cared for there. I really do not believe that Samantha would go anywhere that she felt was not medically able to care for her if something did happen. I truly believe that she would have thought of that, if for no other reason than knowing how upset it would make Martouf and me to think she was somewhere that medical care could not be given. Perhaps I am fooling myself with these thoughts, but both Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill reminded me of this before I left the briefing room."

"While what you say is true, the Asgard have their hands full right now, so I doubt they could come after her, and how else would she get there? She could not dial it from here because there is not enough power."

Lantash sighed again, discouraged.

"Of course, she could have gone somewhere and signaled them, but planets that would allow her to do that are more primitive medically than we are, so she would not consider them safe. Either she would be stuck there, or she would have to go on to another more advanced culture, if she could not reach the Asgard.

Which reminds me, does anyone know if she took a GDO? Can she even get back to us?" Seeing the fear flare in their eyes and their body grow more tense, Daniel wished he had kept his thoughts to himself. Reaching out he grabbed the phone and quickly called the general. The answer was yes. Sam had been her normal efficient self. She had her GDO.

Hanging up he told them and watched the fear fade and the tension again ease. Damn it, they were both strung so tight they could snap at any time. Not snap and become destructive, but snap and fall apart or into despair so black, they would be lucky to see light ever again. Daniel _could not_ let that happen. He also hoped to the gods nothing had happened to Sam. He did not know if Lantash and Martouf could survive that. She was the light in their life; without her, their very survival would be a struggle.

"I can think of no other possibilities, Daniel. My mind is simply refusing to wrap itself around this. I can think of no other places she has mentioned. I am sorry."

"Maybe you are trying too hard, Lantash, you and Martouf. If you stop actively thinking about it, some other information may just suddenly surface. Try to relax and just let your mind wander, hard as that might be," Daniel replied before sighing to himself again. They needed something to do that would occupy them, yet still let them think; something that would allow them to calm down and not feel pressured. He doubted he could get them to go chasing all over the universe on a whim. Besides, doing that would not be relaxing, but just the opposite, and they were too intelligent not to realize he was doing it simply to keep them busy. He stopped for a moment. That was it, of course. He would simply tell them the truth; it was busy work to keep them occupied, allow them time to think, and stop them from going nuts.

There was a planet chock full of temples and ruins that he and Anise were planning to take some time to study. He would take Martouf and Lantash there. There were more than enough ruins for two trips. It was a beautiful world, too. Mild weather, flowers, trees, a lovely lake that reflected the really magnificent sunrises and sunsets they saw when they were there. Maybe they would make it a two or three day trip, if he could keep them there that long. He would go talk to the General about a little later, and they would leave early tomorrow morning.

They needed to be able to allow Sam the space she needed. Not only that, but if they could not come to terms with this fear they had for her, it was never going to work. He did not like seeing them like this; nevertheless, he could not allow them to go to Sam too soon. He was damned if he did and damned if he did not, was that not how that saying went? He was almost angry with Sam, for putting him in this position, until he remembered that some of his own actions had helped to precipitate this very situation.

If he had not agreed with the others on the need to watch over and guard Sam twenty-four/seven, then she would have had someone she could at least talk to about the entire thing. Unfortunately, he had let her down. He had promised to always be there for her. He assured her they would never loose their special bond, but he had failed her as surely as everyone else had. He should have listened to _her_, not _his own fears_ for her. Nor should he have listened to Janet's or Jack's or Lantash's or Martouf's fears. He had no reason to be angry, unless it was at himself. So, he would do what he could to help her now that he had been jerked face to face with his own failure.

All right, so, he could not let Sam down. On the other hand, he did not think he could allow Lantash and Martouf to fall apart. In the months, they had been thrown together, first in the tunnels and then here on earth, he had come to have a deep liking and respect for both of them. He really enjoyed Lantash's sharp mind and extensive knowledge. He admired Martouf for his quick mind, his diplomatic skills, and for never wavering in his belief that the Tok'Ra would eventually win against the system lords somehow, someday. Then there was the last reason…he just plain liked them both.

He also cared about both of them because they cared so very much for his Sam. They would die for her; they would give her the sun, the stars, and the moons of a dozen worlds, if they could, but most of all they gave her all the love they had in them to give. And that was an awful lot of love. He was not sure he could even comprehend the depths of the love they held in their hearts for her. It was unfortunate that counter balancing that love was a depth of fear for her that matched it. And that was what they had to overcome. He hoped it was not an impossible task.

All right, just as he could not betray Sam, neither could he allow his two friends to suffer for long. He had to see to it that they came to terms with what could happen to Sam, the child, or even to them, and learn to live with it. Soon. Very, very, soon. He was almost sure he knew where she was. And knowing that, well, _safe_ was a relative word. He would not bring that up either now or later. She was probably as safe medically there as she was here. Her personal safety though, well, that is where the relative came in. After all, they had been attacked in different ways here at the SGC, so it was not as if they were "safe" here either. So he came back to the beginning of his thought process; safe was a relative word, and it depended on where you were standing just which side of the line it fell on.

Watching him closely, Daniel finally said, "Lantash, you _know_ where Sam is. I am quite sure of it. I really believe that when you have learned to trust her, understand her needs as well as your own, and come to terms with them and the fear you carry for them, you will know exactly where she is. Really, trust yourself; trust Martouf, trust Sam, and the answer will come to you."

Taking a deep breath he added, "That said, before anything else, you have to learn to let go of the fear for her that is so deeply embedded within the two of you. You have to come to terms with the fact that something could happen to Sam…but that it could be you and Martouf just as easily. In fact, it is very probable and much more likely that you and Martouf will come to harm long before Sam will. Lantash, think about this—every fear for her that you and Martouf feel for her, she feels twice for you. If you think for one minute that she does not feel terror every time you leave through the Gate, then think again, because she does." He waved his hand as if brushing something aside before saying, "I am talking just about Sam, not the baby. That adds an entire new dimension to your fear…and hers. The fears you have are not a one-way street. Just…think about it. When you come to terms with it, you will know where she is, and you will be ready to go to her. I am absolutely sure of that."

"Then you do know where she is, do you not, Daniel? You would not be so sure that we knew, unless you knew. This also answers the question of her being with the Nox. You do not believe she is there." Lantash answered. "At least, you are not yet willing to tell us, if that is where she is. Nor, if that is not where she is, are you willing to tell us where you believe her to be, and I cannot blame you," he stated, his voice clouded with his emotional weariness and stress.

Hearing it, Daniel felt his heart hurt more for him, but he knew that telling him would help neither him nor Sam, so he said, "Yes, I do think I know where she is, and yes, I do think you need to come to terms with some things before you go after her. I will tell you that I am fairly sure she is safe. I also believe that when you are able to know where she is that you will be ready to allow her the breathing space she needs, be it here or in the Tunnels."

Lantash looked at him bleakly before nodding tiredly. "I know you are correct, Daniel. I realized before you ever left the General's office that you were fairly sure you knew where she was. I had hoped you would simply trust me enough to tell me, but I can understand your hesitance."

"I trust you, Lantash. I really do not believe you would rush right out and go get her. It is not that; I assure you that is _not_ the reason I am not telling you. The reason is that I sincerely do believe that once you can admit to yourself where she is, then you will really have begun to accept that you have to stop being so overly protective. We _all_ have to stop being so overly protective. As I said earlier, you are not alone in the fault here, Lantash, you and Martouf. Please do not think you are. We have _all_ been over the top on this, and we all have to take some of the blame."

"The thing is that, while we are all overly concerned, you and Martouf are the ones that are most ruled by your fear of what could happen to her and the baby. So let's give it a day or so, see if you can come to terms with it, and then tell me where she is. Once you trust yourself to let go of her and allow her room to breathe, you will know it, I have no doubt whatsoever."

Lantash breathed deeply and finally agreed, "If you can assure me that she chose a safe place. One where she could get medical attention should she need it. Daniel, she is almost seven months pregnant. If any thing should happen to her or the baby..." He clamped his lips shut on the words and his mind shut on his panic. This was what Daniel was talking about, this unreasoning fear and panic. "You are correct. I am in no condition to go for her now, nor can I think clearly enough to know where she is. I will attempt to meditate and perhaps put Martouf into a sleep state later tonight, so that he will rest."

"I think that is a very good idea. But, I have a proposition to make to you. I know your first gut reaction is going to be to say no. It will be your instinct to answer my suggestion that way, so please do not answer now, all right? At least, give it some real thought and consideration first," Daniel told him quietly.

Lantash nodded his agreement and knew he needed to keep an open mind. Daniel would not suggest something that would not help him, he knew.

"There are some temples on PX4-883 that Anise and I were going to take a week or so and go study. There are many Goa'uld inscriptions there on the walls, but they are very old and no one, as far as we can tell, has been on the planet in hundreds of years. I would like for you to go with me for a few days, and take a look at them. We can spend some time just camping out there and working on the translations. You would be away from here, away from prying questions, sympathy, and unhelpful suggestions. It would be harder for you to go after Sam, and it would give your mind something it could concentrate on, yet not so difficult a task that your mind could not drift off and do some thinking if you wanted to. I really do believe it would be helpful to you, or I would not suggest it."

"You and Anise were going to go there after your joining. It was to be just the two of you doing what you both enjoy. It was to be your _honeymoon_. I do not wish to spoil it for the two of you, Daniel," Lantash said, after thinking about it for a moment or two.

Daniel shook his head. "As I said, Lantash there are temples. Plural. We couldn't begin to get through them in a week, so if you and I spent a couple of days there it would not spoil anything for us, I assure you. And it is a very soothing place considering that it belonged to a Goa'uld."

"Besides, this way I would have a chance to scout the place out and find the best place for us to set up camp when we go, so we would not have to waste time looking for a suitable place to camp, and cook, and all those kinds of things. We will be able to start out doing exactly what we want to instead. It will give me a chance to take a closer look at the temples, learn what is there to some extent, and have an idea of where everything is instead of going in with what little information we have now."

"Do you truly believe that it would allow me to come to terms with my fears, Daniel? That it would help me to begin to trust her, and myself, so that we can find my Samantha and take her home, wherever she may feel home is? Do you feel that it would also help Martouf, for he is as upset and confused as I am. He is as unable to control his fear as I am. Neither of us are able to stop the fear we feel when we think about all of the things that could happen to her."

"Yes, I do. I think it would help both of you to find that you can function, even though you do not know exactly where Sam is, what she is doing, or if she is safe. That you cannot be sure she is protected and safe all the time, but that you can still function, and that you have no choice but to trust her to take care of herself. Because that is where it has to start. It has to start with you trusting her to care for herself and the baby. It has to start with you accepting that you cannot be with her every minute of every day, but that it is okay, and you can survive it. Both Martouf and you can do it and survive it. Sam trusts you to do it, and I believe you can do it; now all you have to do is realize it yourselves."

Lantash sat for quite some time, and it was obvious he was talking to Martouf. When he looked back up at Daniel, he said quietly, "If the General will allow it, then we accept your offer. Moreover, you are correct in what you say, Daniel. As difficult as it will be for us, we must come to terms with her needs. We have pushed her needs aside for our own, for much too long, and it is time to face facts. Thank you for thinking of this and for wishing to help us through this. It is very much appreciated."

"You are welcome. I will talk to the General in a little while, but I am sure he will agree, and I know you realize that, too," Daniel told him, softly. Then, becoming more brisk, he continued, "In the meantime, I have some things here that need translated from Goa'uld into English. I would appreciate the help, and you could use the distraction. What do you say to spending some time in here with me this afternoon and evening and working on them with me?"

Being with Daniel and doing some mundane chores would perhaps help to ground them. It would do them both good to have something to occupy their minds. He would go to the desk he used when he was helping Daniel, and he would force himself to think of something besides Samantha and where she might be. At least, he would attempt to.

He held out his hand for the tablet that Daniel was holding. "I will start on it now. Martouf and I will need to keep our minds occupied, as you say."

"And, Daniel, while I sincerely thank you for everything you are doing for Martouf and I, most of all I must thank you for being Samantha's friend. I know you are walking a fine line between your loyalty to her and your friendship with us. We will not ask you to betray her trust in you, I promise you. And, we do sincerely thank you for what you are doing for all of us."

Daniel clasped his hand and giving him a pure Daniel smile he said softly, "But Lantash, that is what friends do, it is what they are for; to be there when you need them. If the time ever comes, you will be there for me, Anise and Freya. That is just the way it works."

Squeezing the hand he was grasping, he smiled slightly, "Yes. Yes, Daniel, of that, you may rest assured. Should any of you ever need anything, we will be there; I give you my word, for as you say, that _is_ what friends are for." Clearing his throat from the sudden lump that grew there, he released Daniel's hand, and said, "I must get to work, now."

"Yeah," Daniel cleared his throat as well, and turned to retrieve the letter and give it to them. "Yeah, me too. I think I will just go talk to the General now rather than later and get things squared away for tomorrow."

Lantash nodded his agreement and took the letter Daniel held out to him. Standing, he took his cup and refilled it, as he headed for the desk and Daniel headed for the General's office. He would not forget the friendship Daniel had shown to both them and Samantha so many times. Tomorrow was just one more sign of that friendship. It was time to start as they meant to go on. Pushing the anxiety and fear that continued to try to surface aside, he bent his head and began to translate the tablet.

TBC


	4. Room to Breathe 4 BRSP

**_Chapter Four Summary: _**_Jacob returns from a short mission to find Sam visiting the tunnels. It doesn't take long for him to hear the entire story. Sam is so upset and worried about both the situation and leaving Martouf/Lantash that Jacob offers to go to the SGC and check on them. He, too, is curious as to why they haven't followed her to the Tok'Ra. _

**_"Italics" - _**_Symbiote-Host communication_

* * *

_**Breathing Space**_

**_Chapter Four_**

**_Room to Breathe_**

* * *

"Hey, kiddo, how ya doin', and where are Lantash and Martouf?" Jacob asked his daughter, as he entered the room she had been given. He was on a short recon mission, so was not in the Tunnels when she arrived on her visit. He thought she looked pale, and her smile was not as bright as usual. He wondered what was up and hoped there was nothing wrong between her and Lantash, her and Martouf, or both.

"Hi, Dad, and I am doing fine, thanks. No more morning sickness, and the food cravings seem to have leveled off, for the most part other than for chocolate, but that is a constant anyway. How have you been?"

"I have been good, Sam. Ah, where are Lantash and Martouf?"

"Oh, sorry, I forgot you asked. They had a long mission, and I was bored, so I came by myself. Don't you want to see me without them?" Sam asked, and something in her voice warned her father to be careful.

"I want to see you with or without them, kiddo, you know that. I am just surprised they let you out of their sight alone that is all. They must have finally figured out that you would not fall apart, or have something terrible happen to you if you were left alone for a few days. I am glad they finally backed off. I know they were becoming obsessive about something happening to you, and I was afraid they were going to drive you crazy." Jacob walked across the room to take a seat, so was surprised when he turned around to see tears running down his daughter's face.

He immediately headed back to her and took her in his arms. "Sam? Honey, what is wrong?"

"Oh, Daddy, it has been...they have been...and I cannot—." She stopped and gulped, before blurting out, "I have run away from home. They don't know where I am, and I don't want them to find me yet, so don't tell them I am here, and I miss them so much I almost can't stand it," she managed, before she started crying in earnest.

Jacob led her to the sleeping platform and sat down with her, taking her in his arms, and rocking her slowly while she cried. As her crying quieted, he said, "I take it they did _not_ get over it. How bad did it get?"

Sam laughed slightly, shaking her head before answering, "I should have stayed and tried again to make them understand how I feel. I knew it would hurt to leave them, but I didn't realize it would hurt this much. I miss them so much; I just want to turn around and go back to them. The problem is that I know what will happen if I do return. I will be trapped there, and there will never be another chance to get away. I will start to resent them, and everyone else, and I am afraid of what the resentment will do to my love for them. I do not want to end up losing them, Dad. I love them both more than I thought it was possible to love anyone. As for how bad it got; it was bad enough that I am here instead of there. So I guess that is the answer; bad enough."

"Why don't you start at the beginning; tell me what happened, sweetheart. Maybe you have blown it out of proportion because you did not have anyone to talk to."

Sam nodded, saying, "I thought of that, too. I didn't even have Janet. She—she _is _part of the problem. In fact, there is not anyone on the base that is not part of the problem, or if there is, I have not found them. Not even," Sam choked on her tears, as her emotions tried to get away from her again, but she finally managed to get the words that had so upset her out at last. Her voice dropped almost to a whisper as she said, softly, "not even Daniel, Dad. Even Daniel was not there for me this time." She sighed before beginning to explain to her father what had been happening.

It took her quite a while, but she finally came to the end of her story, only to repeat some parts of it. It was as if now that she finally had someone who was truly hearing her, she could not stop talking, "I know it is because they all care for me so much, and they all want to be sure that nothing happens to me, or the baby. All the same, I feel smothered by it. I can't breathe, I can't go anywhere alone, and I can't leave the base for fear of being kidnapped."

"The few times I did leave, you would think I had committed a huge crime, but that is not what stopped me from doing it. I realized myself that I really was not safe, and that it was a foolish thing to have done. So I did realize, but the thing that actually stopped me was the fear in their eyes when they found out." She looked up into her father's eyes, her own full of anguish as she told him, "They are so afraid for me, Dad. Unfortunately, it is not just because of the N.I.D. or the Goa'uld; it is everything. They are frightened for me, just as they are for the baby."

"They want this baby so much. I think that is what has kept me there longer than anything else did. Knowing, that if I left and something happened to me, or to the baby, they would never forgive me. It would be the fulfillment of their every nightmare all rolled into one."

Jacob sighed. He had been afraid of this happening. It was so rare for a symbiote and host to father a child, or for that matter, for a female host to have a child, that when it did happen, well, miraculous _might_ not be too strong a word to describe how they looked upon it. Two hosts never had a child, of course, and so rarely did a host have a non-host mate that children were rare indeed. Lantash and Martouf were so worried that something would go wrong, or happen to Sam, that from the moment they found out that she was pregnant, they had been in a constant state of anxiety unless they were with her.

"I was at the point of not knowing what to do. It did not matter what I said; they did not hear me. I told them repeatedly that I wanted to come here, but they just kept saying it was my hormones, and that I did not really want to come here. Then if I complained about everyone hovering over me and running tests and, oh, just all kinds of incidents, they would tell everyone to be less obvious in their surveillance of me for a day or so. Then it would be back to the status quo. When it got to the point that someone was even watching me when I went to the restroom, I decided I had to get away." Frowning, Sam paused before she added, "I suspect there is also an airman assigned to the hall outside my lab, but I only have the impression of one; I have not actually seen one there."

"Dad, I came out of the shower, _in our apartment_, and found an airman waiting in the living room to be sure I was okay. As soon as she saw that I was all right, she said she would be right outside the door, if I needed anything, during the night. All I had to do was call out; she promised she would be there immediately. I mean, it is crazy, dad. I now have my own personal guard outside my door at night, while I sleep, whenever the team is off world, "_just incase_" something happens to me or I need help, as well as an unobtrusive escort to the restroom."

Sam sighed disconsolately, before continuing, "I was becoming afraid that if I did not escape the base soon, that I would not have a chance to escape the base at all. I truly believe that if I had not given the airman assigned to the apartment a direct order to stay at her post, she would have followed me wherever I went. I told her that I was just going to the control room to check some diagnostics I was running, and that I would not be more than a half hour, forty-five minutes tops. She _did not_ look happy, but at least she did not follow me when I left. I had to sneak into the locker room to get my belongings, and if I had not packed some things a couple of weeks ago and hid them in there in my locker, I am pretty darn sure that I would have arrived here with nothing but the clothes I was wearing."

She swallowed hard, before telling him, "I feel so guilty for leaving them. I _know_ they are only doing these things because they love me so much, and they want the baby to be born healthy and me to be healthy, but…" her voice trailed off as she finally wound down to a stop.

"Sam, honey, are you _sure_ someone was actually following you to the restroom, or are you just getting paranoid because of everything that they _definitely _have done?"

Sam sighed and asked, "Does it seem logical to you that the same airman is always in the same hall every time I go to the restroom? Or that as soon as I leave, they turn their back, and key their radio to let the next person on my route know that I am on my way? They would fail covert ops, and I have to admit, I think this is one of the Colonel's plans, not Lantash and Martouf's. But it would not surprise me to find out they know about it."

"The guys were going to take turns staying on base, while the others went out on missions, until they hit on the idea of Nyan staying with me while they were gone. And, I could not hurt Nyan's feelings by telling him I would rather be alone. He is too nice a young man to do that to, and it is not his fault; I am sure it is the council of SG-1 plus Janet that decided it for him. Teal'c is the only one that does not treat me like I might break at any minute, but he does not say much; I do not want to catch him in the middle, so I just don't say anything to him about what is happening. I will not divide his loyalties."

Sam swallowed hard, and then looking up at her father, her eyes swimming with tears, she whispered, "The worst part of this is that I feel so culpable, so in the wrong, for giving up and leaving like this. I have hurt them so much by doing this that now I wonder if they will ever forgive me. They should have been here by now. Their mission should have been over two days ago. What if something happened to them? What if they are hurt and need me and I have left them, and they feel they have nothing to live for? What if I have killed their love for me by leaving them like that? I am scared of what I may have done to our bond, our marriage. I do not know what to do next. Now that I have been away from it for a while, I can see it for what it was; it was overwhelming love of me and our baby."

"Sam, the only reason you can see it now is because you are finally away from that atmosphere. If they had only let you come here and visit, it would probably have kept you enough on an even keel that you would have taken all of the other stuff with a grain of salt and a shrug of your shoulders. Now that you are away and have a bit of space to breathe in, you feel better. I will tell you what, how about I go to the SGC and see how things are going? Make sure they are all right, that nothing terrible happened to them on their mission, and they are still in love with you, missing you, and looking for you." Jacob frowned, and asked, "What makes you think they should have been here? I thought you did not tell them where you were."

"I told them that once they began to believe that I knew what I was saying, and I meant what I was saying, they would know where to look for me, and to come for me as soon as they could hear me, hear what I was saying to them. I also told them if they really could not figure it out to ask Daniel because he is very astute, and he would be able to help them figure out where I was. I practically spelled it out for them, Dad."

"Well, they still may not have figured out where you are. On the other hand, they may be trying to come to terms with the fact that they cannot continue to smother you. It is possible that they realize they are being overprotective, but don't trust themselves to be able to let you live without being watched over constantly."

"Sam, to them, this baby is a miracle. It is such a rare thing to have occurred, that to Martouf and Lantash, it is simply extraordinary. It is something they never expected to have happen, and now that it has, they are scared to death; they are truly almost petrified by the fear that something will happen to one or both of you. I do not know what they would do if something happened to you or that baby. Lose their minds, probably."

"I know," Sam whispered, sadly. "I better go back. I have already caused them too much pain. I can't do this to them, Dad. I will just have to learn to live in a fishbowl, and stop worrying about making my own decisions."

She smiled slightly, saying, "I told them I wanted to move back here to the Tunnels, but they could not survive that, could they? At least on Earth, they feel like we are half-way safe. If we were here, they would constantly be terrified that the Goa'uld would capture the baby and me. That is the real reason they did not want me to come here. They know that the System Lords are constantly looking for your bases, and they are afraid we will be here during an evacuation and be killed. At least Earth is in the protected planets treaty, so they feel better when we are there." She sighed again, "I will go get my stuff."

_"Jacob, tell Samantha no. Although I know how much of a miracle this is to them, and how terrified they are that something will happen to her and the baby, this is not healthy. They must come to terms with their fear, and they will not do so as long as Samantha is there where they can see her and push the fear aside,"_ Selmak gave Jacob his opinion of the situation. _"I feel for their pain, but it will be much worse if they end up alienating their mate, believe me. And unfortunately, it sounds as if they are well on their way to doing so. We must stop it now." _

_"All right, Sel. I have to agree. I do not think this is healthy either. I can understand their fear, but they need to learn to control it and the sooner they do the better for all of them." _

Jacob's hand on her arm kept Sam sitting while he discussed the problem with Selmak. "No, Sam, don't. I was talking to Sel, and he feels that their fear has moved into the realm of unhealthy. They have to get it under control, and we both agree that you returning to the SGC will not help, but hurt. They will never come to terms with their fear as long as they can be near you. I will go to earth, and see how things stand. I honestly believe and agree with Sel that they are going to have to come to terms with this fear of theirs. I know what you are saying is true, but you, and they, cannot live your entire lives in the halls of the SGC, either."

"At the very least, you need to spend time in both places. This baby has three parents and three cultures. It is part Tok'Ra, Sam. While it is true that Lantash is asexual, and did not contribute sperm as such, we really don't know that much about the affect the symbiote has on the host's body and reproductive system. For all we know, there may be some subtle change in the sperm that we don't know about. This is no doubt another reason that the N.I.D. would love to get their hands on you."

"Lantash is very much aware of all of the ramifications of this situation. No, of course the baby is not going to be a symbiote. We know that; we do not know if any part of Martouf's DNA is altered by having a symbiote controlling all of his body systems. Furthermore, if it is altered, then how is it altered? What is it going to affect? Children of a host and a non-blended human are so rare that basically there is no information on any of those questions. The one thing they are sure of is that a child born in those circumstances will not be a harcesis. But, Sam, you were blended with Jolinar as well as Martouf being a present host. While they are sure it _will not_ be harcesis, they are not sure just how much your DNA changed by hosting and surviving the death of Jolinar. You don't have the genetic memory of the symbiote, so they know a harcesis cannot come into being, but that is all they know. Also, unfortunately, there are those who will believe that it is harcesis because you hosted Jolinar. Their ignorance is a danger to you and the child."

It was Jacob's turn to sigh deeply before continuing, "Our own ignorance on what changes Lantash may have caused in Martouf's DNA and what affect, if any, it will have in the making of a new life is abysmal. I guess that is something they should look into. And this baby, whether you like it or not, should be studied to see what traits, if any at all, are passed on because of some subtle changes that come about because of the symbiote."

Sam closed her eyes, and then opened them to look at her father, as his words sank in. What he said was true. They would need to do some studies on this child. Nevertheless, she still would _not_ have it turned into a lab rat. There was a limit to what she would allow. "I agree up to a point, but I will never allow either the Tok'Ra, or the doctors on Earth, to make this baby, or the next one, into a lab rat. I agree it probably should have tests run, so that we do begin to understand whether the symbiote has any affect at all on the child, but I will _not_ allow them to _study_ it excessively."

"Neither will I, Sam, but just like they study exceptional children on earth to understand them, this child will be studied to try to understand it."

Sam nodded. Of course, it would have to be. It would be up to her, Martouf and Lantash to see to it that it had all the love and acceptance that was possible though. It would no doubt blend someday. It only made sense. She found herself wondering if it would be a better candidate for blending because one of its parents was a symbiote. It was an interesting question and an intriguing possibility.

Abandoning that topic of conversation, Jacob slapped his hands down onto his thighs, saying, "So, if I go to Earth and check on everyone, will you be okay until I get back? Have you spent any time with Tashmar, Jacarta, and the brood? Did they tell you that Tashmar swiped all of Martouf's desert hats to make a nest for Jacarta's eggs?"

Glad of the change of subject, Sam laughed shakily, saying, "Yes, I have seen them, and I had planned on spending some more time with them. Tashmar still likes to put his head in my lap for a rubbing. He helped me so much, Dad; I am glad you have kept him, Jacarta, and the babies. As for the hats, he used to hiss every time Martouf wore one. I told Martouf it was his fashion sense making a statement, and that he obviously _did not like them_. Jacarta did though. She would follow him around when he wore them. I always figured Tashmar was jealous. No wonder they used them for a nest. Between the two of them, there was no better choice."

Jacob agreed, and then repeated the question Sam had not yet answered, asking her, "So, if I go to earth for you and talk to Martouf and Lantash, you will be okay till I get back?"

"Yeah, I think so. I feel a little better. Tell them I am sorry, please. And tell them I am ready to come home, if they still want me."

Jacob sighed, hearing the quaver in her voice that said tears were not far from the surface. "They will want you, Sam. Trust me on this. They love you too much to turn away from you over this. I think they will understand why you did it, and as I said, I believe that is the reason they have not come after you. They want to be very sure they can be with you without driving you crazy. Sam, honey, once they realize they really are hurting you by being this way, they will do whatever they have to do to overcome it. I am sure of it."

"I hope so, because I don't think I want to live without them. I never realized how hard it was for you when mom was killed. I understand now, Dad, and I am sorry for everything. I missed my mom. But you lost your mate, and there is nothing that can match that pain." She paused for a moment before saying, "I never gave it much thought before, but moms been gone a long time. If you ever meet someone, you know, with the Tok'Ra, or on earth, that you could love, please do not hold back. Take what love is offered. You deserve to be loved, Dad. You are a wonderful man, and some woman would be very lucky to have you."

Jacob smiled at his daughter. He had not really given much thought to taking a mate, although he was not exactly celibate. There was someone he found attractive, but he doubted she would look at him, as she was much to young for him. Those thoughts ran swiftly through his mind before he answered her, saying, "Thanks, Sam, I appreciate you saying that, and I can promise you that if I ever find a woman that would live up to what I had with your mom, I would not hesitate. I do not mean I want someone like your mom, just that what we had together leaves a pretty high standard for someone to live up to. If it ever happens, you will be the first to know though, okay?"

"And speaking of the other, Sam, I think there might be a loss that would be just as painful as losing a mate. I have never lost a child, but I think that pain would be as bad. You are not supposed to outlive your children."

Sam nodded. That was true. Moreover, Lantash and Martouf were afraid of losing both. She let the feeling of losing them and this baby enter her and felt what they had been feeling. She would return to them soon now, or they would come to her. It was time to acknowledge this fear and talk about it. Maybe then, they could move forward.

* * *

The klaxons were going off as the General walked into the control room. "Do we have a code, Sergeant?"

"Yes, sir. It is the Tok'Ra."

"Open the iris, Sergeant"

"Yes, sir."

The general headed for the gate room and arrived at the end of the ramp, as Jacob stepped through the event horizon and walked toward him. Seeing no one but George waiting there, he frowned. "Where is everyone, George?"

"Daniel took Martouf and Lantash off world on an archeology expedition yesterday morning, very, very, early. Jack and Teal'c are probably in the gym, or the cafeteria. Those seem to be their favorite places. I am afraid I can't tell you where Sam is. She has taken a vacation, but she did not tell us where she was going," the General said, hoping his friend was here because he did know where Major Carter was, and if he was not, and did not, he hoped not to alarm him. He almost expected an outburst, but it did not come.

"Let's go to your office," Jacob stated bluntly. If, as he suspected, the base was already rife with gossip, he did not want to fan it any farther. He wanted privacy.

George nodded, and they headed for the office. As soon as the door was shut, Jacob turned to the General, and said, "She is fine, but she is missing them badly and wondering why they have not followed her. I am assuming Daniel's field trip is to occupy them, so they will not go running after her before they can come to terms with everything? At least, I am hoping it is because they were afraid they could not do as she asked, since that is the reason I gave to her as what logic dictated was the cause of their non appearance."

"The other possibility, I did not mention to her; the one where they are too angry to go to her for fear of saying something that would be unforgivable. I am hoping you will tell me that is not even in the running," He was again blunt in his statements. He and George Hammond went back a long way. They could cut to the chase with one another. He saw the surprise on George's face at his last statement. So, evidently anger had not been the uppermost of their emotions. That, at least, was a very distinct relief.

"They were both so angry at us, for not recalling them at once and starting an immediate search, that they spent all their anger on that, Jacob. After they read her letter, they began to understand what had caused her to leave in such a way, and they were terrified that she was somewhere unsafe. I have never seen either of them so strung out. They were so brittle, that, for a while, I was afraid they would shatter into a thousand pieces," George answered his questions both asked and unasked. "They admitted before they left that right now, the fear they have for Sam and the child is simply stronger than they are. They are hurting badly, Jacob, both because Sam is gone and because they blame themselves for both her leaving and for her having no other choice but to do so. They are just...I cannot even explain the pain they are in, it goes so deep, Jake. I have to admit that I am surprised to see you here; I never would have expected her to go to the Tok'Ra. I assumed she would expect them to look there for her, so she would not go there."

Jacob nodded, replying, "And yet, they did not look there, George. They, like you, assumed she would not go there, for that very reason, and yet she practically spelled it out in the letter. It looks like she was correct in one of the things she said. It is as if they can't hear what she is saying to them. She told them she wanted to go to the Tunnels quite plainly, and she told them in the letter that when they learned to believe her and trust her, they would know where she was. Should I assume by what you have said that none of you figured it out?" He asked, incredulous.

"They don't know where she is, and as far as I know none of the rest of us figured it out, either. However, I did get the impression from what Martouf said, before they left, that he believes that Daniel knows where she is. He told me that Daniel feels that when they come to terms with everything, they will realize where she is, and that when that happens, they will be ready to go get her and either bring her home here, or take her to the Tunnels, if that is truly her wish. He said that Daniel thinks that they will stop hovering quite so much. Perhaps never completely, but at least they will not smother her. Hopefully, the rest of us will learn the same lesson," he sighed.

Jacob nodded his agreement. "I understand their feelings, their fear, and their panic, George. I have to admit that without Selmak's input I might not have. It is such a fact of life for us. You grow up, you get married, you have babies, or you adopt. Most of us, anyway, although not everyone wants or should have children, and I have no problem with that. My point though, is that this is _not_ the normal life cycle for the Tok'Ra. For them, mates are usually both blended, so there are no children. This is so rare that to Lantash and Martouf this truly is almost a miracle, something they never thought would happen. Add to the rarity of it happening, the fact that both the System Lords, and the N.I.D., would love to get a hold of Sam and this baby, and you have a recipe for out and out panic."

He paused before continuing, "They love Sam so much that I don't know what they would do if something happened to her, but the truth is that they have to come to terms with it. Because Sam is in a line of work, just as they are, where any or all of them could be killed at any time. Sooner or later, they are gonna have to face that fact and come to terms with it, George. I hope it is sooner for everyone's sake."

George nodded, saying, "I know, Jacob, and we probably have not helped matters any. We have all been as overprotective as they have. I can't take the blame for any of the things they have done, but when she tried to talk to me, I brushed her off with a bunch of rot about enjoying being coddled while it lasted, which makes me just as guilty."

"Not quite, George. You could not know how bad it really was becoming. Did you know they had someone following her to the restroom, waiting in her room while she bathed, and standing guard outside their quarters at night when they were off world?"

"Are you sure, Jacob? That does not sound like something Martouf and Lantash would do. I mean, yes, they were instrumental in being sure she ate well, and slept when they thought she should, things like that. They did agree that Nyan should spend time with her when they were off world, and they did not argue with Dr. Fraiser about her going through the Stargate, which, looking back in hindsight, was probably not a good idea. I am also aware that they were making most of the decisions for all three of them, which probably was not wise, either…but I just can't believe they would have someone following her to the restroom." George Hammond was obviously surprised.

"Well, Sam did say it seemed more like something Jack would do. Regardless, I really would like to find out whose brainchild it was because it was the last straw. When she came out of the shower, found the airman in her room, and then realized there was a guard on her door at night, she knew that if she did not leave soon, she would never get the chance. She was feeling more and more trapped. I would like to find out if Lantash and Martouf knew about it at least."

George Hammond picked up the phone, "Have Colonel O'Neill come to my office. ASAP." Turning to Jacob, he said, "I think we will have an answer to that question shortly."

"I just hope Sam was right, and it was Jack, and not Martouf or Lantash," Jacob responded as he shook his head at what they, whoever "they" might turn out to be, had done.

"It sounds to me like it has Jack's signature all over it, Jacob," George said sardonically.

They looked up as Jack knocked lightly on the door and the General told him to enter.

"Jacob? Was that you earlier? I thought it was probably Daniel and Martouf coming back," Jack said, as he came into the room. He suddenly looked uncomfortable, as he realized that Jacob might not know that Carter was missing. He did not look particularly upset, so it kind of looked like he might not. Jack glanced at General Hammond. Surely, he had told him his daughter was missing.

"Jack, come on in, I have a couple of questions for you. It seems that someone was assigned to Major Carter as a bath attendant. Do you know anything about that? In addition, it seems that an airman was assigned to stand guard on her at night? I do not remember issuing those orders, so do you know who might have made those assignments?" George asked, every inch the General.

Jack looked like his shirt was suddenly too tight around his neck, but since it was unbuttoned at the collar, it could not have been that. Uncomfortable would have described his expression. "I suppose I might know a little about that, General."

George Hammond sighed deeply and shook his head, "Jack, what were you thinking? Do you have any idea of the damage you may have done to Martouf, Lantash, and Sam's relationship? I should allow him to tear you limb from limb when he returns. I am assuming he was not aware of these extra, er, precautions you decided to take?"

"Well, we discussed it, but at the time, we shelved it as not being needed. That was a couple of months ago. With her getting so far along in her pregnancy, I was afraid she might slip in the shower or something. If she had an attendant, they would know when she took a shower and could be sure she was okay. And, since we were gone off world during the nights sometimes, I just thought that if something happened and she went into labor early or she fell or something, then if there was someone outside the door, they would be there if she needed anything."

"So Martouf and Lantash did not know anything about it?" the General reiterated.

Jack shook his head. No, this had been done solely by him, he admitted.

Jacob crossed his arms, leaned back in his chair, and looked at the man standing before him. "You might be interested to know that the reason Sam left, was because she got tired of having people following her to the restroom, being in her room while she bathed, and _guarding_ her at night. It was the last straw, Jack." He shook his head at the appalled look on Jack's face, before relenting. "In all probability, the way things were going, she would have left eventually, anyway, Jack, so don't look so appalled, but you should not have interfered. _I will not_ stop Martouf and Lantash from tearing you apart, if they end up blaming you. I do not think they will, as I am sure they know that they are to blame as well, so consider yourself lucky that they are fairly reasonable, and that Lantash can control Martouf."

It finally dawned on Jack what Jacob had said. "You know where Carter is? Is she home? She is back? Where is she, I am gonna _kill_ her _myself_ for scaring us like that," he said suddenly. His face first paled and then flushed as he allowed all the emotions he had kept firmly penned up to come bursting forth.

"No, she is not here, and no, I am not telling you where she is. That is not your concern. And I am telling you that if she does return here, you are to allow them to manage their own lives, and you will not confine my daughter in anyway." He frowned before adding, "Except to keep her from leaving the base. I am very much aware that the N.I.D. is not to be trusted, and if she was kidnapped, I would tear this place apart myself."

General Hammond nodded his agreement. "You will keep this information to yourself, Jack. I do not want one word to leak out that Jacob knows anything about Major Carter, if Martouf and Lantash come back. We will tell them in our own way and time. Dismissed."

"Yes, sir. General Carter." Jack acknowledged them and his orders.

"Later, Jack. Maybe I will calm down by tomorrow," Jacob said quietly, by way of a dismissal.

Turning to George after Jack left, he raised an eyebrow and then grinned. "It seems Sam knows Jack pretty well. She did not think it was Martouf and Lantash; she just was not sure they had not gone along with it like they seemed to do with everything else."

George shook his head, as he said, "Well, I find it hard to believe that even Jack would do something so very over the top, but he admitted it, and I can't dispute his own word. I knew the guys, excepting perhaps Teal'c, were obsessing about this, but I did not realize they were as bad as Martouf and Lantash. I am beginning to think perhaps there is not a thing to choose between them."

Standing, he said, "What do you say we go get something to eat, Jacob? I do not have any idea when to expect Martouf and Lantash back. Daniel and I agreed that he would keep them there as long as necessary. He thought it could take a few days for them to realize they could function not knowing where she was or what she was doing. Once they realized they were capable of allowing her that space, they would realize they could allow her what she needed, and it would dawn on them where she went. Are you going to stay until they come back?"

"I am not sure. If they come back sometime within the next couple of days then I probably will, yeah. I need to send a message to Sam to let her know they are not angry, and they do understand. She needs to know that they are trying to come to terms with her needs and theirs, and that they are all right and with Daniel. That alone will make her feel better. She trusts Daniel to take care of them. You would think it would be the other way around, and that she would expect them to take care of Daniel. I suppose she does in a physical way, but in an emotional way, she knows that Daniel will help them. So it will relieve her mind to know they are with him."

"No problem, Jacob, let's go by the control room first and get your message sent. Then we will eat. You want to stay on base tonight, or go home with me?" George asked him.

"Do you think they would come back tonight? Is the world they went to on the same day/night schedule as earth, or is it coming on morning there where they might suddenly turn up tonight?"

"I think it is similar to what we have on earth. Off set by several hours ahead though, I think. Seems to me it is already fairly late evening there. I know they left here very early in the morning hours, and Daniel said it was already after sunup there."

"Then I can safely go home with you this evening. I would like to leave instructions to call me at once if they return early though."

"Not a problem, Jacob. I will tell you what. Let me leave the message with the tech and turn the base over to Jack, and we will leave now, go out for a good meal and head home. How does that sound? Good food, good scotch, and good company?"

"That is one of the best propositions I have had in a long time. I accept," Jacob agreed. George watched as color washed Jacob's face.

"Selmak reminding you of another proposition you have had lately, Jacob?" He smirked.

"Yeah, you know sometimes having a permanent house guest can be annoying as hell. Especially when said house guest has an exceptionally excellent memory." He smiled and said, his voice taking on a softer more gentle tone, "But other things outweigh the drawbacks."

"Yes, so I understand. Remind me after we eat, and I will tell you about a conversation I had with a symbiote and host recently that was a revelation to me."

"You are on, George. I will hold you to that."

TBC


	5. Sometimes Life is Good 5 BRSP

**_Chapter Five Summary: _**_George Hammond and Jacob spend an interesting evening together discussing how to bring the Tok'Ra and the Tau'ri to a better understanding of one another. Selmak talks to Janet and takes her by surprise...pleasantly so._

**_"Italics" - _**_Symbiote-Host communication_

* * *

_**Breathing Space**_

**_Chapter five_**

**_Sometimes Life is Good_**

* * *

George Hammond and Jacob Carter relaxed in deep overstuffed chairs and swirled their scotch. They had a wonderful meal, discussed old times, more recent events, and talked about their grandchildren. They were back at George's home now, though, so they could talk more freely.

Finally, George brought up the topic they had touched on earlier at the base, saying, "I had a long talk with Martouf, and also with Lantash, after this happened. I am ashamed to say that it is the first time I have ever had a one on one conversation with them, with no one else around, where we actually began to get to know one another." He looked embarrassed for a moment, and then confessed, "When we first told them about Sam leaving, it was obvious that Lantash was furious. At one point, Dr. Fraiser suggested that Martouf take control and Lantash informed us, in no uncertain terms, that if Martouf was in control the base would probably be destroyed. Well, not exactly those words, he was much more restrained, but we got the idea."

"I realized then that I really knew very little about them and as two aliens under my command, just as I had spent time with Teal'c to learn about him, I should have done the same with them. Everyone in that room assumed that Lantash was the more violent, the less restrained, of the two of them."

"Martouf admitted later that his temper was something he guarded against because, if he became really furious, he tended to break things. He told us that he tried never to allow that to happen, but this had caught him off guard, and Lantash had taken over to control him. He said that he realized we would not consider that acceptable, but that it was something those that blended came to appreciate and accept as a good thing when they were prevented from doing something, ah, detrimental to themselves and others."

George stopped for a moment recalling that confession, and smiling, he added, "He also assured us that his temper was always taken out on inanimate objects or the Goa'uld, rarely against others, and never against women or someone that could not defend themselves. I was glad to hear him say that, and yet, I realized that we should have known it without him having to assure us of the truth of that. Just another indication that I needed to become better acquainted with the two of them."

He shrugged self-consciously before saying, "There is that underlying feeling that some of us seem to have, and I am sure you are aware of it, that even though their beliefs and outlook are different, they are still, at least physically, Goa'uld and therefore, we won't understand them, even if we try. I found that to be very untrue after talking to Lantash. His emotions are as human as yours or mine, and I am ashamed that it took something like this, for me to take the time to get to know him. He is a very likeable, er, being."

"Lantash has always seemed so controlled and for the most part, unemotional, other than a few somewhat upsetting outbursts, most notably one time in particular over Sokar, which shocked us all, that I think we all believed he did not feel things deeply unless it pertained to the Goa'uld. I think we have all felt that the only thing the Tok'Ra in general are truly passionate about is the Goa'uld and defeating them. I can only assume we made that assumption because they seem so formal and, sort of, I don't know, cool...standoffish?" He allowed his voice to ask rhetorically, before continuing, "Anyway, after talking to Lantash, I realize all of our assumptions were off the mark by a whole big bunch."

"I guess I was shocked, and surprised, to find out that he is a very passionate being about other things as well. His feelings for Sam go so deep that…" he stopped, not sure how to say what he was feeling. "I just never realized how deeply the Tok'Ra feel about their mates. To him, Sam is everything. She is the center of his world. Lantash has several passions. One is the fight against the Goa'uld, of course. That almost goes without saying, but I am listing it anyway. The other things he feels passionately about are his fellow Tok'Ra, Martouf, Sam, and now this coming child. Should anything happen to any one of the final three on that list, well, it would devastate him." He paused and then added, "I forgot something else he is passionate about; Daniel Jackson. He feels very deeply about Daniel and all the care and love he has for Sam and the friendship he has shown to him, as well as, Martouf. Once he said it, I realized that it should not have surprised me. Not only do he and Daniel get along well, but Daniel always knows whether he is talking to Lantash or Martouf."

He shook his head before commenting, "I do not know how they stand losing their hosts as close as they become to them. I guess that was another shock. We always assumed it was just lip service, but I could tell as we talked that he truly cared about Martouf. Much more intensely than I would have thought possible. And he also feels a deep bond with the other Tok'Ra, some more than others, it is true, but still, he has strong emotional ties to them."

"Martouf, well, he explained the symbiotic relationship in a much clearer way than it has ever been explained before. I did not realize the bond between the symbiote and the host became so intense. He explained it to me as the type of bond that would exist between long time lovers. He said that, because you know everything about one another, you eventually do become almost as if you are one being. You still have separate likes, and dislikes, but it becomes important to please the being you are sharing your life with so totally."

"He told me that the caring for one another takes on the overtones of those you have for your mate, and that in many ways you actually become mates with an intimacy that is the kind shared by lovers. He went on to explain that in many ways you become lovers in the true sense of the word, not in the sexual context, but as beings _who love each other totally._ I am glad we talked, Jacob. I understand more about their feelings and emotions, as well as how they exist together. How they share everything. Between Martouf and Lantash, I think I have a much better understanding of the Tok'Ra, and what makes them tick, what drives them, and how deeply attached they can become to humans. And how attached their human hosts become to them."

"I guess it just seemed strange, at first, that there could be such love shared between different species. And I know this sounds silly, but I thought about humans and their dogs, their cats, their horses, and on, and on. If we can have deep feelings about a species we can't really even communicate with on a verbal level, how much deeper could a bond be between two that can communicate? It opened my eyes, that is all."

"What are you grinning about, Jake?" George stopped his monologue long enough to ask.

"I was showing Selmak dogs, cats, and horses and showing him some of my emotions about some of the pets I lost over the years. He wanted to know if I was the dog or if he was. He saw the humorous side of your statement that is all, George, and he is not insulted. He thinks it is great if it helped you to understand our bond and he can see how you could extrapolate from those emotions onto the host/symbiote bond and realize how much deeper it would be."

"Good, I am glad he understands because I would not insult him for the world. I am also glad because it upholds another thought I had. If the symbiotes were truly as arrogant as we tend to think they are, my statements would have insulted him. He was not. That brings me to the next part of what I have been thinking about since my talk with Martouf and Lantash. I think their arrogance, in many respects, is a shield they put up. In some of them, it may be their Goa'uld genes showing themselves, but I do not think that is the norm. It is simply that they are not sure how to relate to people, to humans other than their hosts, or how people are going to react to them."

"I am sure they do not always get greeted with open arms. Hell, we sure did not go out of our way to be the most diplomatic of groups, and Jack's attitude has colored too many other people's views of them. I am going to take care of that problem as well. I will not have Lantash treated the way he has been. Please do not misunderstand. I do not mean that anyone has treated Lantash in an actively hostile way. He has not been. However, he knows that people are uncomfortable with him and he does not come forward in a group very often. It is only since this has all come about that I have realized that Lantash rarely comes forward except with Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c. He knows they are comfortable around him, like him as he is, and accept him. It is only occasionally that he will come forward with Jack, myself, and Janet Fraiser."

"It is time that other people get to know, like, and accept him, so his not coming forward except with them is going to change, too, and it is going to change soon. I plan to ask him to be sure to spend time at the forefront in front of others, so they can get to know him. I think once they do, they will find him as likeable as I do, as Sam does, and as Daniel does. I think that perhaps Teal'c understands Lantash more than we realize, too, and Lantash seems to know that."

"I am glad to hear that, George. I knew Lantash was not feeling accepted, but he would never actually say anything. However, he did not come forward as often as usual. He and Martouf tend to share the body a lot more than some of the others do. Many Tok'Ra simply find that one is more comfortable being with certain groups, and they know when which one should take control. Many of the couples tend to allow the symbiote control on Tok'Ra business, but when they relax, the host tends to take over. That is something you rarely see, of course."

"Selmak and I are unusual in that I tend to have control quite a bit more than he does, even in the Tunnels. He does not mind, and it allows him to monitor things that I might miss. If there is something that he is better at, then he comes forward. Around the SGC, he lets me have control almost constantly since he knows it makes others uncomfortable to be around him."

"I know. I would like for him to start coming forward more as well though, Jake. I think our people need the exposure to the symbiote. They _need_ to learn that they have human emotions, even if they are not human. Our people _need_ to see that they feel the things we feel and want the things we want. Our people _need _to understand that, and the only way they will learn it is if they are around them. I am thinking about contacting Garshaw about an exchange program other than Anise and Lantash. I think we need to see others as well. In addition, I am also going to ask Anise to come forward more often. It needs done for our two peoples to come to know each other better, and it has to start somewhere. We have the perfect opportunity with two of our people marrying and, er, joining, mating, with Tok'Ra. I want that understanding to grow not wither."

George watched as his friends eyes glowed indicating that Selmak had taken him at his word and allowed Jacob to talk him into talking to his friend. "I agree, General Hammond. Our people need to come closer together if they are ever to understand one another. I will be most happy to attempt to help you, and I will promise you not to be insulted by some of the things that I am sure I will hear, any more than your people should allow themselves to be insulted when they come to stay in the Tunnels. Both sides have much to learn and, as you know in your own diverse cultures, sometimes it takes time for understanding to grow. We will help you plant this seed and hope that it grows into a healthy plant, or child, whichever way we wish to view it."

"Thank you. And now that you are here, I have a question. What are the chances that Daniel and Freya will have a child? I know Anise would have to sleep, but it could be done, couldn't it? Perhaps if it became a more common occurrence, the Tok'Ra would no longer view it as quite such an extraordinary event. And there really is not a reason they could not is there?"

Selmak blinked at General Hammond for a moment before he smiled. "You are correct, General. Perhaps we should begin to drop some hints to Daniel, and of course to Freya, for she must convince Anise to allow her to release her eggs. Once Samantha has returned, perhaps she could talk to Anise and Freya and point out that if they had their children close together, they would all have playmates as they grow up. I agree that it is a very good idea. The Tok'Ra are not used to children, but they do not dislike them; they simply cannot have them and are seldom around them."

The two men sat in contented silence as they contemplated the future. Perhaps things would begin to straighten out shortly. Lantash and Martouf would learn to control their fear, Samantha would come home, and the Tok'Ra and the Tau'ri would begin a new stage in their relationship. Swallowing a little more scotch, they both decided that sometimes life is good.

* * *

Selmak and General Hammond had breakfast on base the next morning and true to his word, Selmak had remained in control and talked to different people that had come up to talk to the General. George had been sure to introduce him as if he was a completely separate person from Jacob and after the first shock of having Jacob take the back seat, most had not appeared to have a problem with talking to him. Jacob coached him, reminding him to smile once in a while. The fact that he and the General appeared to be getting along well went a long way towards easing any tension. If the personnel saw it work at the top, it could also filter down.

Jack looked curious as they invited him to join them. He also seemed slightly uncomfortable until General Hammond said quietly, "Get used to it, Jack, because this is the way it is going to be until people become more comfortable with the Tok'Ra. I am not going to have Anise and Lantash uncomfortable while they are here at the SGC anymore. It is simply not acceptable. We are going to make them welcome and come to know them. I am not going to continue to allow them to feel as if they should stay out of sight, so that our people will not be uncomfortable. Our people are going to get to know them, so they will not _be_ uncomfortable. It would not surprise me to know that Major Carter is also concerned about that, and it may be another reason she wants to leave. She is as much aware of the fact that Lantash is not as accepted as Martouf is, as we are. She was much more comfortable and accepted by the Tok'Ra when she was in the Tunnels, than Lantash has been here. That is going to stop. Your attitude is going to undergo a change. You will speak of them with more respect. That, Colonel," General George Hammond stated, "is an order."

Jack understood. He nodded as he answered, "Yes, sir." This was not a suggestion by the General. It was not negotiable and while there were many things that Jack could skirt, avoid, and out right disobey, he could tell that this was not one of them. The Tok'Ra were to be treated with respect. Period. Got it.

"George and I were discussing some of the Tok'Ra that we thought might be good candidates for an exchange program, Colonel," Selmak stated. "Do you have any that you feel would fit in better than others?"

"I don't know a lot of them. Aldwin? Maybe Ren'al and Malek?

Selmak nodded. "Malek is a base commander, so he might not be able to stay for an extended time, but he might consider a short stay. I thought that perhaps Arwanna and Daimesh might consider coming. They are a mated pair, and she and Samantha became quite close during Samantha's stay in the Tunnels."

"I remember them. Yeah, they would probably be good. I mean it would be a pair so people could see that the Tok'Ra have couples that are sort of like our couples. I mean they see Carter and Martouf, but that is one of us and one, er, two, ah, a pair of you, just like Daniel and Anise and Freya. So they might be some good ones to use for a_ getting to know_ _you_ type of exchange."

"I will ask them as soon as we return to the Tunnels then. Thank you for your input, Colonel," Selmak said solemnly, in his deep measured tone.

"Sure, anytime," Jack responded, and then continued, "Well, if you don't need me for anything else, I have some paperwork with my name on it that is calling me. Or so the General told me yesterday evening when he asked for it, er, again," Jack groused, almost good-naturedly, as he stood to leave. Giving them a lopsided grin and a jaunty salute, he strode out of the cafeteria and headed for his office and the dreaded paperwork. Paperwork was one of those "must do" things, so while they were on base he might as well get it finished. It looked like there were going to be some changes. He wondered how everyone would adjust. Seeing Teal'c in the hall ahead of him, he hurried to catch up.

"Hey, Teal'c," he called as he got closer.

Teal'c stopped and turned toward him as he heard his friend call his name. "Good morning, O'Neill. Is there something I can do for you?" He asked in his usual stoic way.

"Nah, not really. Have you, uh, talked to the General this morning?" Jack asked, attempting nonchalance and patently failing to achieve it.

"I have, O'Neill. I sat with him and Selmak for quite some time during breakfast. We discussed the idea of more Tok'Ra and SGC personnel becoming part of an exchange program. More people need to become accustomed to the Tok'Ra if we are to remain viable allies. Having Anise and Lantash here has not had the success I had hoped, mostly, I believe, because they do not come forward often enough. I believe that General Hammond has come to the same conclusion, and that he has asked Selmak to spend time talking to SGC members while he is here, and that he plans to do the same of Lantash and Anise. I believe it is an excellent idea." It was a very long speech for Teal'c, but left Jack in no doubt as to how he felt about the entire situation.

"So you have no problem with more _snakes_ walking around the base?" Jack asked, slipping into his normal mode of referring to the Tok'Ra.

"I do not think of them as _snakes_, but as an alien species different from any other I have known. They are of the same species as the Goa'uld, yet they are not Goa'uld. I have found Lantash and even Anise, to be very intelligent. I enjoy both their company and their conversation very much," Teal'c replied solemnly.

"Right. I have to start thinking that way, too. I am just finding it a little difficult. Like I said before; I will never trust a Goa'uld."

Teal'c nodded, "So you have said before. However, we are not talking of the Goa'uld. We are talking of the Tok'Ra, who are very different from the Goa'uld. By lumping them all together, it is the same thing as saying that all humans are exactly the same with the same traits, weaknesses, needs and wants, a patently untrue statement. Therefore, while you can class the Tok'Ra with the Goa'uld as a species, you cannot paint them with the same brush."

Jack stared at Teal'c, and then thought of Lantash and his obvious anguish over Sam, his love and caring of her. "Yeah. Yeah, Teal'c, you may just be right. Well, I have paperwork calling my name. Talk to you later, T."

"Indeed, O'Neill. Indeed." Teal'c agreed as he watched his friend walk away. Perhaps it was not too late to hope that Jack O'Neill would discover that the Tok'Ra were not the Goa'uld. He certainly hoped so for he was missing a very fulfilling friendship by not allowing Lantash to get to know him, or for him to get to know Martouf and Lantash. Time alone would tell. He would go to the gym. He needed some exercise. These on world days were very long for him at times. On the other hand, perhaps he would kel-no-reem. Either occupation would pass the time.

Selmak, Jacob, and General Hammond wandered the base and talked to people, being sure they talked mostly to Selmak. They did the same in the gym, in the control room, in the infirmary, in the halls, in the rec room, although at this time of day only a few off-duty personnel were there, and during lunch. General Hammond had been amused at the alacrity with which Selmak had taken him up on his suggestion that they stop by the infirmary in the middle of the afternoon. He was not surprised to see Jacob come forward and spend most of his time talking to Janet Fraiser. He did not even notice when George left to go get some paperwork done, but Janet had seen the hand signal over his shoulder and blushed as she realized that the General knew she was attracted to Jacob Carter and was arranging for them to have time alone.

She suggested that it was time for her to take a break and invited them to join her. After realizing that George had left, they agreed, and headed for the cafeteria, the closest thing one could get to a place to meet and talk other than the rec room. Neither was the most romantic place in the world. She wished she could somehow let Jacob know that she found him attractive, and that she would like to get to know Selmak. She did not want to insult him by telling him she wanted to talk to Selmak, but she did not know how else to get around to meeting and talking to him more. After all, if you took one of them on, you took both of them. From what she had seen of Sam and Martouf's relationship, the symbiote added another dimension to the relationship that was pretty wonderful.

Suddenly, Janet returned to the present and the man sitting across from her, as what he said penetrated her mind. "…and so we decided that the people need more symbiotes to get to know than just Lantash and Anise. I imagine that Selmak and I will be spending more time here with Selmak in control, so that people can interact with him."

"I think that is a wonderful idea," Janet said quietly. "So, does that mean that he will be coming forward to talk to me, so that I can get to know him, too?" She asked. What an opportunity, she thought as Jacob looked up at her, appearing startled.

Then he smiled at her, "Yes, I guess it does." He dropped his head and she watched as it raised and his eyes glowed.

"Hi," she said softly. "How have you been?"

He smiled at her and even laughed a little, saying, "I have been quite well, Dr. Fraiser." The depth of his voice startled her. She had heard it so seldom, and though she knew that Lantash's was deep, it always startled her anew when she heard Selmak, or Lantash for that matter, speak.

She smiled self-consciously, as she said, "Yes, of course you have been. It is such a common question for us. We tend to use it to break the ice, you know, start a conversation when we are not sure what to say. And please, call me Janet."

Reaching across the table, he took her hand as Jacob sputtered in his head_. "What are you doing? You are going to horrify her! She is young enough to be my daughter!"_

"Very well. Janet. It is a delightful name. Tell me, Janet; are you as attracted to Jacob as he is to you? I feel that you are, but for some reason you are afraid to tell him so. Is it because of me?"

Janet Fraiser's jaw dropped for a moment, but she recovered quickly, as his words sank in. "Jacob – Jacob is attracted to me as well? Why did he never say so? He has never even asked me out!" She exclaimed, suddenly indignant.

Selmak smiled sardonically, as he said, "I am unfamiliar with the mating rituals of the Tau'ri, but this_ asking out_, is it something which I may do as well as Jacob? Would it be acceptable?"

"Yes. Yes, it would be quite acceptable. I am glad to see you work a little faster than Jacob does. Would you mind telling me, though, why Jacob never asked me out himself, if he really was interested in me in that way?"

"Two reasons actually. I am the first, of course. He was afraid you would never consider becoming involved with what is for all intents and purposes an alien being, for now that we are blended, he is an alien to you," he said, watching her expression carefully. It did not change, so he gleaned nothing from it. "The second is because he feels he is too old for you. Since I am very much older than he, if age is in fact a problem for you, then you are much more likely to object to me, than to him."

"We meet aliens all the time in this job, and Sam is married to one. She seems very happy for the most part, except for this problem with the, ah, over protectiveness, which we are all guilty of, not just Martouf and Lantash. Her relationship with the two of them, though, is wonderful from what she has told me. Consequently, I would like to get to know you, and I do not consider the fact that you are an alien a negative factor, or a detriment to us having a relationship. As for his age, it is rather irrelevant isn't it? My age is the one about which he should be more concerned. He will actually age slower than I will, so I hardly think that matters, unless he does not want to be involved with an older woman down the road."

"I doubt he had thought of it in those terms, but you are correct, Janet, and he will age less quickly than you and you are correct; he had not considered it, but he says it does not matter. Age is irrelevant. Therefore, we have passed both hurdles in a very short space of time. Therefore, I will now, what was it you said? Ah, I remember. I will now _ask you out_ if I can get the particulars from Jacob."

Janet watched, fascinated, as they carried on an internal conversation. Finally, he looked up to say, "He informs me that we must request your company to a meal, or a movie, or both. Since we will, in all probability, not be leaving the base this evening, would you consider joining us for a meal here in the cafeteria this evening, and then, perhaps, a movie in the rec room? On the other hand, Jacob says we could go to our room here on base if that would be acceptable, since it would give us more privacy from prying eyes. He is thinking that you might not wish to be seen with us."

Janet smiled and shook her head, as she answered, "I have no objection to being seen with you, but I would like to have a quiet evening just getting to know you both a little better, so I will compromise. As I said, I will not mind at all if people see us together, but the proof is in the pudding, as they say. Therefore, I will accept your offer of a meal here, and then we will go to the rec room, for a short time, and perhaps watch some TV or play some pool. Then, we will allow every one there to see us leave together, and we will spend the remainder of the evening in your room watching TV, or doing whatever else sounds interesting, or comes to mind. By leaving early with you, and being seen going to your room, it will be understood that I am staking my claim," she said placidly. She watched Selmak's eyes widen and grinned, knowing that Jacob was explaining her final comment to him.

Letting him catch his breath, she continued, "Now, thank you for the invitation. What time would you like to meet for the meal? Would six or so do?" She asked, thinking she could go home and change if she left a little early.

"That would be delightful, Janet. Tell me. By being seen leaving with you in this way, does it also point out to others that Jacob and I have also, er, _staked our claim_?" He wanted to know.

"The women will understand at once, but you will have to ask Jacob about the male half of the population. I can make it plain in other ways, of course, if you decide you want me to," she answered suddenly realizing how forward she had been. It was out of character, but she had wanted to get to know Jacob Carter for a long time, and she was tired of waiting around. She had the opportunity, and she was taking it, by golly.

"I find that I like the idea of the other males on the base knowing that we have claimed you, Janet. Thank you for allowing that and for agreeing to allow us to take you out. Shall we come by your office at eighteen hundred hours, er, six o'clock?"

"Yes, that will be fine, and unfortunately, I need to go back there now. It is already well into the afternoon and I have some things to finish before I can get ready for our date. We have been here quite a while."

"That is very true. I had hoped that Daniel and Martouf would have returned today. Evidently Martouf and Lantash are having a great deal of trouble coming to terms with everything," Selmak said, with a sigh.

Janet stood, as she nodded her agreement. Then looking down and seeing their troubled look, she said, "If they should come back, I will understand that you need to spend time with them. I will not expect you to come by if they come through. We will do it another time though, that I promise you. I – I have wanted to get to know you, for quite some time, and I have wanted to become better acquainted with Jacob as well, so if something happens that preempts our evening, we will take a_ rain-check_, and do it another time."

Selmak looked at her and his features softened, as he said, "Thank you, Janet, that is very thoughtful and generous of you. And be sure that if Lantash and Martouf turn up, and we do have to cancel this evening, then we will gladly agree to your _rain-check_, which Jacob assures me is simply a promise to do something at a later time, and we will indeed have our, ah," he paused, obviously listening, "_date,_ later. I will promise you, also. I will, in fact, look forward to it with great pleasure, whether it is tonight, or in the future."

Leaning forward on the spur of the moment, Janet surprised herself and kissed him softly on the lips, startling a small gasp from him, before he smiled up at her. Blushing at her forwardness, she turned and left the room. But, she couldn't stop the smile that kept curving her lips.

Whether tonight or some other night, she would spend time with them_._ Suddenly, her life had taken a turn for the better. She could not wait for Sam to get back. Somehow, she thought she would be pleased even though it was her dad. Janet frowned as she thought about that supposition. Maybe she should discuss it with Jacob. She thought Sam would not mind, but it was her father, so maybe she would. Yes, she definitely should talk to Jacob about it first thing because she was not about to cause Sam anymore grief than she already had. She was honest enough to admit that she, too, had been part of the problem that finally caused Sam to run.

She walked into her office and sat down. She was glad that Jacob had told her that Sam was with the Tok'Ra, and that was why he was here. He had said she was fine, but missing Martouf and Lantash very much. She had confessed her part in the debacle, and he had assured her that he understood. In addition, he said, it was worse even than she knew, and he had explained about Jack and the guards. Janet shook her head. She could not believe that Jack would have assigned people to follow Sam to the restroom. She sighed. Between all of them, it was a wonder Sam had not run off screaming long ago.

She just hoped that Martouf and Lantash could come to terms with their part of this. The General could order Jack not to interfere. He could order her to take fewer blood tests and not to hover so much. Daniel would realize what he had done and could talk to Nyan and explain so the young man's feelings were not hurt. However, no one could order Martouf and Lantash to love her less, or not to worry so much. They were the ones about which they should all be concerned. She knew she certainly was.

She hurt for them. For all three of them.

TBC


	6. Ready to Trust 6 BRSP

_**Chapter Six Summary:** Jacob/Selmak and Janet spend a very cozy evening. Meanwhile, light years away, Martouf and Lantash have spent many hours contemplating their situation. As he and Daniel go over the facts and her letter once again, they finally realize what Sam was trying to tell them and feel confident that they can do as she has asked._

_**Italics - **Symbiote-Host communications_

* * *

_**Breathing Space**_

**_Chapter Six_**

**_Ready to Trust_**

* * *

Jacob, Selmak, and Janet finished their meal, laughing over the fact that cafeteria food was not the most enticing in the world. Conversation was comfortable and varied, covering a wide range of topics. They shared a taste for seafood, spaghetti, and fried chicken with potatoes and gravy, corn on the cob and apple crisp. She discovered that Selmak did not like coffee at all, but enjoyed good scotch, although it did not affect him unless he drank a great deal of it. They liked the same wines and most of the same music. Their favorite colors were different, but complimentary, and they both enjoyed a good comedy. Selmak and she had reading, long walks in cool weather, naps on rainy days, and an enjoyment of snow (unusual in a symbiote) in common, and they all enjoyed a warm fire on a cold night.

They talked all the way through their meal, and they continued quietly during the show they _watched_ in the rec room. They were so caught up in each other; they did not even notice the curious looks they were getting. At last, feeling they had been seen to enjoy each other's company by enough people to start a firestorm of gossip, they headed toward Jacob's room, hand in hand. Stopping by her office, Janet grabbed the bottle of wine she had brought back with her when she returned from changing clothes.

Once they were in his room, she found some glasses and they relaxed, enjoying a companionable silence, as they sipped their wine.

Finally, Janet said quietly, "I need to talk to Jacob for a little bit about Sam, if you do not mind, Selmak."

He shook his head. "You will find that neither of us minds being asked to give way for the other. Although we can each hear what the other hears, it is not the same if someone needs to talk directly to one or the other of us, so please do not hesitate to ask. It is not a problem and will neither insult, nor disturb, either of us. We are quite used to it." So saying, he dipped his head, and Janet watched Jacob return to her. She smiled, realizing she was enjoying being with two interesting men. She knew from her talks with Sam that the Tok'Ra were passionate, and that it was easy to tell their touch apart from the human lover's once you learned it.

Taking a deep breath, she said, somewhat bluntly, "Jacob, do you think that it will disturb Sam if we are seeing one another? I have to admit that it did not occur to me until after I was back in my office this afternoon."

She watched him closely and was glad to see that he did not simply dismiss her question. He was giving it some thought and that, as far as she was concerned, was a very good sign. It meant he was serious about getting to know her. It was beginning to make her nervous though.

When he spoke, it was calmly and firmly, "No. No, I do not think it will. I think that it might have before, but not now. She mentioned to me, just before I came through this time, in fact, that she realized now how hard it must have been on me when her mother died. She told me that if I found someone to care about, to love, then I should. She wants me to be happy, Janet. I suppose she might find our age difference a little odd at first, but then she will realize that I will age at a much slower rate than you will and that eventually, you will be older than me. The same thing would happen to her and Martouf if she did not eventually blend, but from what I understand she wants to do it now that she knows more about it." He stopped and grinned before he said, "I guess the long answer is no, I do not believe she will have a problem with us seeing each other, regardless of the age difference. I think that her relationship with Lantash and Martouf has allowed her to see a whole lot of things differently."

Janet visibly relaxed, before saying, "I – I think she knows that I have been interested in you. She never said anything, so I never knew for sure, but I suspected she did, and she did not seem to mind. I just wanted to hear your opinion. I am really glad that she told you that. It sets my mind more at ease."

Jacob nodded, as he said, "Yeah, I know what you mean and I am glad, too." Looking into her sherry colored eyes, Jacob felt as if he was drowning.

_"Kiss her, Jacob,"_ Sel, urged him impatiently. "_We have desired to do so for a long time. We have the opportunity, do not pass it up."_

_"Would you like to take over, Sel?" _ Jacob asked, his feathers ruffled at being hurried.

_"Certainly,"_ Selmak responded and immediately took control, over Jacob's sputtered protests.

"_I didn't mean it, Sel!"_ Jacob grumbled.

Selmak laughed softly, _"I promise to return control once we have her in our arms and are kissing her thoroughly. Well, I will eventually, I promise,"_ he said.

"You are a beautiful woman, Janet. I have wished to spend time with you for a very long time, as has Jacob," Selmak said, his voice vibrant and low, as he reached out and slowly traced the outline of her lips gently with a finger. "I must tell you that although I loved Saroosh, I am enjoying being in a male body. Although we are asexual, we do become used to being in one or the other, and sometimes it is difficult to adjust when we switch. I found switching this time very easy, however, and meeting you helped my adjustment even more." He shrugged slightly, adding, "Saroosh was the first woman I had been blended with in a very long time, and I must admit that I seem to lean toward being male. We have found that many of us have a preference, although we do not always have the option of choosing which sex we will join with."

He continued stroking her face, following the curve of her cheek, then finding the edge of her ear and touching it lightly. "I have wanted you from the first time I saw you. I was quite pleased that Jacob had feelings for you, even though he refused to act on them for the reasons we discussed this afternoon." Leaning toward her, he kissed her gently on the corner of her lips, trailing his lips up to her temple, and then back to tease her lips once again. Her small gasp and quickened breathing pleased him, and he continued his slow, gentle seduction.

Finally bringing his lips more fully to hers, he teased them to open for him, and when they did, he delved in, tasting her and the wine, a heady mixture. He was surprised when she moaned, and taking control from him, pushed him back and down onto the sofa. As her hand found its way to his loins, and stroked him firmly, Jacob first choked and then laughed in their shared mind.

_"Okay, Romeo,"_ he chortled to his shocked and overwhelmed symbiote, "_Now what are you going to do?"_

_"Enjoy, Jacob,"_ Selmak gasped, as he pulled her closer. _"We are going to have a night to remember. One which, I believe, we both hope will be but the first of many."_

Moaning, he forced them both to sit up, and looking into her face, he said quietly, "We want you very much, Janet, but if you are at all unsure, you should tell us now."

For an answer, she pulled him back to her and brought their lips together again. He kissed her thoroughly, then stood and held out his hand. She placed her hand in his and allowed him to lead her toward the bed, by way of the door. He checked to make sure he locked it securely and then led her slowly toward the bed, stopping every foot or so, for a long and satisfying kiss. It took them quite some time to make their way to it, finally, but there were not too many clothes left by the time they got there.

When they floated down to the bed and came together intimately at last, Janet was sure she was not going to survive this. Passionate was a word that Sam had used, and oh, boy, were they ever. Moreover, the symbiote gave a stamina that you did not see in the human male too often. Wow. Maybe even double wow. She would have to do some experimenting to see if she could not find a few places that could drive them as wild as they had driven her.

No wonder Sam spent a lot of time staring off into space, shivering, and then smiling. No doubt, she was having daydreams about night things. She had a feeling that tomorrow would find her doing the same thing. She looked forward to the memories, but for now, she was going to enjoy the real thing. And then, she was going to enjoy it again.

Suddenly, she remembered what Sam had told her about caressing the symbiote. She brought her hand to the back of Jacob's neck and began a slow sensuous stroking. When she felt Selmak quiver, and then begin to tremble, and felt the response in Jacob's anatomy, she was very glad she had paid attention to what Sam had told her. From what she remembered, that trembling was important. She had just found their wildness button. Hearing them moan against her breast, as she continued to stoke them, she smiled to herself.

Then she wondered what type of response she would get if she kissed him, and perhaps suckled, at about the same place she was stroking him. She would have to try that next. In fact there were several things she wanted to do to these two lovers of hers.

Looking down, she realized Jacob had come forward again, and she heard him gasp, "You have been talking to my daughter, haven't you, Janet? There is no other way you could possibly know about that little maneuver and what it does to the symbiote and the host. I absolutely refuse to believe that you just stumbled across it. That was much too _informed_ an approach.

Janet laughed, a dusky, sexy sound, and Jacob moaned again before deciding he would get farther by going back to his previous occupation. He was pleased to hear the gasp, and then the moan, that came from her this time. Selmak was correct; it _was_ going to be a night to remember.

* * *

Martouf stood and looked out over the lake, where they set up camp, as the evening sun shimmered on the water turning it to gold and deep blue. He left the temple they were working on a short time ago, and walked down here to gather some of the peace into him. Soon night would again fall and another day, their _fourth _day here, would come to a close. Samantha was probably frantic by now wondering why they had not come for her, wherever she was. They still had not figured it out, and Daniel was not telling them, insisting that when they were ready to allow Sam some breathing space, they would figure it out for themselves.

It had become easier, but the pain was still intense, and the fear was always present within them. He was beginning to believe he would never come to terms with any of this. He was failing Samantha, Lantash, and himself. Sighing he stared at the water's edge lapping quietly upon the shore. Such calm and quiet surrounding them, but inside they were a cauldron of churning feelings.

They had certainly lived through a complex and erratic tangle of emotions. At one point they had even felt extreme anger at Samantha for doing this to them. Thank the universe for Daniel. He had allowed them to rant and talk and talk and rant. He had lived through their anger, their fear, their panic, and their remorse. Sometimes he thought that without him, they would both have lost their minds and begun to hunt for her on every world she had ever mentioned. Only Daniel's calm good sense, and the fact that he was fairly certain he knew where she was, had stopped them.

_"He has been a good friend to us, Martouf,"_ Lantash said solemnly, as he heard Martouf's thoughts. _"We would have been in dire straits without him."_

_"I know. I thank the universe every day for finding us such a stalwart friend. He has truly been our salvation this time, as he was Samantha's friend when she needed him so badly. I believe our sanity would have been in danger without his calm practical way of looking at things,"_ Martouf said quietly, as he contemplated Daniel and his abilities.

_"He has proven yet again that his strength of character runs deep, and that he is a very loyal friend and comrade. He has continued to stay true to Samantha, yet also managed to help us. For he has helped us, Martouf." _

_"Our pain at the thought of Samantha being gone is not quite as sharp as it was at first, and we do not panic as quickly as we did when this first happened. I believe being here is helping us, and I believe that being able to talk to Daniel has helped, also. No matter how many times we repeat ourselves, he listens to us and lets us relieve any of our feelings that we have a need to relieve, whether it is anger, bewilderment, or sorrow. He has given us a great gift by doing so,"_ Lantash said, still quietly thankful for the firm friendship they had forged with Daniel.

_"Yes, that is very true, he has. Moreover, being here has helped as well, but it is not working as quickly as I had hoped. What must Samantha be thinking? She must be distraught by now, wondering where we are. At least we are not the only ones to suffer,"_ he said somewhat bitterly, and then gasped at his own thoughts. _"Lantash, how could I think that? How could I want Samantha to suffer this anguish? Am I some kind of monster?"_ Martouf demanded, sounding horrified at the thoughts he was having.

_"You are simply working through another round of anger, Martouf. It is not the first time, and it may not be the last. We are still full of conflicting emotions, and anger is one of them. We wonder how she can do this to us, if she truly loves us; how she can put us through this form of hell. It may not be a particularly pleasant aspect of our personalities, but Daniel told us that these are very probably normal responses. He was not appalled at our anger at her, when it happened to me the second day we were here. It has just taken you a little longer to arrive at that point,"_ Lantash comforted and consoled him.

Martouf frowned as he bent and picked up some stones to toss in the water. _"Do you think that Daniel is correct and that in a way it is actually healthy for us to feel these emotions and to express them, Lantash?"_

_"I believe he may be correct. He feels that we will go through many stages of these emotions, until we work through our fears and anxieties. He expected us to experience denial, which we did. I know that when I first read the letter I chided you for refusing to see what Samantha was saying, but you are aware that I have gone through periods of denial in regards to what she said in her letter. I, too, argued with myself, and you, for that matter, that we had not really been that unreasonable. We both know that is not true, but it stopped neither of us from thinking and feeling it. We are both still in denial when it comes to feeling that we must watch over her constantly. Neither of us can yet admit that she does not require our constant surveillance_, _"Lantash sighed as he realized just how true his statements to Martouf were. _

Pulling himself out of his short bout of introspection, speaking quietly, he went on to say, _"He also says we will feel anger. As you have just shown, we are still occasionally feeling that, also. I agree with him that it is a normal response. Nothing makes one so angry as to be in the wrong and have only oneself to blame. We are in that position, although we are not exactly alone in it. It was not just us that caused this, but we were the major factor, so when all is said and done, we are at fault. So we are both still feeling anger."_

After pausing once again, for a moment, Lantash continued, saying,_ "And, he still believes that we will be ready to go to her when we reach acceptance. We must accept that we cannot guard her twenty-four hours a day. We must accept that she is a thinking, intelligent, capable woman and, as she said in her letter, pregnancy does not equal incompetence or stupidity. She did not suddenly become irresponsible, incapable, or foolish and silly when she became pregnant. We both know this intellectually, now we must accept it emotionally. And her emotional stability is something else we must accept. Yes, her hormones have caused some moodiness, but they have not caused her to suddenly not know her own mind or what she wants and needs. We must also accept that we cannot continue to believe that if she does have an emotional outburst, it is because of her hormones, not because she is upset."_

Martouf sighed, as he skipped another rock. _"I know, Lantash, and I agree that Daniel is probably correct, and so are you. It is important for us to accept these as truths. We must accept Samantha's needs as legitimate and accomplishable." _

_"Sometimes, I do feel that they are, Lantash, and then I think of everything that could go wrong, or happen to her, and I freeze. I am terrified all over again."_

_"I know, Martouf, for I share your fears for her and the child. I share the feelings when you have them, just as you share them, when I am the one who is about to panic. However, I have noticed that neither of us allows the other to stay in that state for long. I hope that we will be able to use the method we have been using to get through the last four days, to help us through allowing Samantha to have room to breathe. If we can each continue to be a calming influence on the other when we begin to experience the anxiety and panic, we will be able to fulfill her needs," _Lantash replied as he contemplated the truth of his statement.

Martouf was quiet for a moment as he pondered what Lantash had said. Lantash felt a noticeable lightening of his spirits. "_You are correct, Lantash. I had not even realized we were doing that, but I believe you are correct. I am finally beginning to feel hope that we can do this."_ Martouf sent him a quick embrace.

_"I believe I do as well, dear one. I, too, feel hope at last," _Lantash replied, as he returned the caress.

Martouf threw his last stone, and then realized that Daniel, too, had left the temple and was walking toward them. As they turned away from the lake neither of them noticed the slender creature in the water that had come up closer to the edge to observe them. They had noticed none of the fish in the lake, although they had often bathed in it, or come to the edge to stand, staring out across the water. They started to walk back towards Daniel and met him partway. Perhaps they would soon be able to leave here and go after their Samantha, as she expected them to be able to do. She trusted them, and now they had begun to trust themselves.

"Have you finished for today, Daniel?" Martouf asked, as they neared each other.

"Yeah, I think so. That last wall was pretty interesting stuff. I wonder," he grinned, "what the truth was."

Martouf smiled back at him, saying, "From what Lantash can remember, this Goa'uld was actually one of the less vicious ones. While she was not exactly enlightened, she certainly was not one of the more violent ones either. He seems to remember that she and Egeria knew one another, and actually worked together, until Egeria's aims became too radical for her tastes. It is a shame she did not share Egeria's beliefs. If there had been even one other queen that passed on Egeria's beliefs to her offspring, it might have made our fight easier."

"That is true. Do we even know what happened to this one? Was she killed or did she just sort of disappear? I doubt very much that the story here will tell of her defeat unless the conquering Goa'uld had the story added afterwards."

Martouf frowned. "Lantash says no one knows what happened to her. None of the Goa'uld ever claimed that they had defeated or enslaved her."

"For all we know she could still be out there. I guess we should look into that. Of course, after two thousand years, the sarcophagus would probably have corrupted her beyond redemption, but if not, maybe she could be turned," Daniel stated casually.

"Lantash says that according to their genetic memory, she agreed with Egeria about the sarcophagus and only used it for injuries. She changed hosts more often, instead of using it."

"Really? Then maybe Anise and I will find out more when we come and start delving into the other temples. I am glad we came and started on them. I have enjoyed our time here, even if I would rather it had been under other circumstances. However, enough of that subject for now. Let's head for the campsite and fix something to eat. Are you hungry this evening?"

Martouf looked surprised, as he said, "Yes, actually, I believe I am. That is a new development at least. Up until now, I have eaten because you will berate me if we do not. However, I believe that this evening I will eat because I wish to."

"Well, that is a good sign anyway. Come on, let's get the meal fixed, eaten, cleaned up, and everything put away, so that we can relax and enjoy the night sky here. It certainly is beautiful. The stars seem so close."

"Yes it is, Daniel. I am glad we came with you. I must agree that I wish it was under different circumstances, but it is a very beautiful place and very quiet and serene. I think that you, Freya, and Anise will enjoy your stay here," Martouf said, as they finished heating their meal and began to eat it. It did not take long to heat an MRE and even less time to eat one.

Thirty minutes later, they were building up the fire. So far, the nights had been fairly cool. While it did not get really cold, they both enjoyed a fire. They had built one each evening and then sat and talked far into the night. The night sky here was, indeed, beautiful. There were several moons and the stars tempted you to reach out and grasp them. They unrolled their sleeping bag and relaxed, as they stared first at the sky and then into the fire. Daniel was nearby and doing the same thing.

Thinking of Samantha, and the situation they found themselves in, Martouf found himself asking, yet again, "Do you truly believe we have been unreasonable, Daniel? Does our fear for her and our child not excuse some of our actions?"

Daniel looked at Martouf and saw the anguish in his friend's eyes, but told the truth just the same, "Yes, you were unreasonable, but then, we were all unreasonable. More than that, we all should have attempted to manage our fear. We should have talked about it to Sam. Did you ever discuss it or was it something that you covered by simply doing things to lessen it?" He asked the rhetorical question, knowing the answer, not needing to hear it from them again.

"I know I never discussed my fears about her, the baby, and the situation with her. I just did things. I arranged for Nyan to be with her. I agreed she should not go through the gate, I watched what she ate, and checked on her a dozen times a day. I found excuses to spend time with her and watch her, to make sure she did not do anything that might hurt her or the baby."

He shook his head in self-disgust as he continued, "If I was doing that, how much worse was what you were doing? When you were on base, did you ever let her out of your sight if you could avoid it? Did you hover over her when she did things like taking a shower? Did you ever allow her to go up a flight of stairs by herself, or stand on a stool to reach something?" Daniel shook his head again, this time in frustration with the situation, them, himself, and the others that had been involved. They had covered the same ground over and over. Nothing had changed since they had talked about it last night.

"You know, sometimes, I think that Teal'c was the only one that did not hover over her. He was the only one that trusted her to take care of herself and her baby. It is no wonder she was always going to his room and eating meals with him. He allowed her to be just Sam. A pregnant Sam, yes, but still, the same woman he has always known and respected. When we had our conferences about what to do while we were off world and stuff, he never really said anything, either. I just realized that. He probably was not surprised at all when she up and left." Daniel sighed again, feeling guilty all over again, for having failed his friend. It was not just Sam he failed either. He failed Martouf and Lantash, too. He should have realized what they were doing and tried to curb them instead of encouraging them.

Realizing that, he turned from staring into the fire and looked at Martouf, "You know, I owe you and Lantash an apology. I just realized that not only did I fail Sam; I failed the two of you, too. I should have seen what was happening and tried to help you to cope. I should have tried to get you to ease up, instead of encouraging you. I am sorry. I probably could have helped to avoid this, if I had not been so afraid for her myself."

"And looking back, I realize how ridiculous my fear for her was. She did not need me worrying about her. She needed my caring about her. I knew I owed her an apology, but I owe her more than one. I owe her one for not helping you, and I owe her one for not being there when she needed to talk to someone. Then I owe her one for forgetting who and what Sam is. She is a grown woman. She needed me to care, not to worry." Daniel nodded decisively, saying, "I think I can do what she needs now."

"Daniel, are you saying you did not know if you could do as she asked either? That you were still concerned that you might revert to treating her the same way, if she returned to us?" Martouf asked, disbelief coloring his voice.

"Yes. Yes, I am. Did you think you and Lantash were the only ones that were over the top? I told you that you were not alone in this, and I meant that honestly. I was just as guilty, well, almost as guilty, as you two were. Furthermore, I failed her as a friend, just as you have failed her as her mates. We both owe her apologies. I hope that you will be able to come to terms with your fear and see her for what she is soon, too. Then you can go and see her and find out if she is ready to come back to us, or if she still wishes to leave."

Martouf nodded as he once again stared into the fire. Feeling the emotions well up once again, he sighed. How were they to stand this? How could they just ignore her? It seemed so wrong to not do things for her. Looking up, and seeing Daniel watching him, he voiced his thoughts, finishing by saying, "I just cannot see us sitting by while she struggles to tie her shoes, or allowing her to get up and down a dozen times to get herself a glass of water, when she will be up again shortly to go to the bathroom."

As Daniel looked at him, Martouf could see the shock on his face. "Martouf, no one, no one at all, would tell you not to do those things. Sam herself would probably tell you she loves you caring for her and doing things like that for her. Hell, if you could go to the bathroom for her, she would probably worship you forever. That is not the type of thing with which you need to be concerned. I am not saying, and I do not believe Sam was either, that you should not still care for her, even coddle her, and wait on her hand and foot if you want to. It is the big things that are the problem. Not letting her go to the tunnels. Not allowing her to eat what she wants, instead of what you want her to have. We insisted that someone be with her all the time. We were making decisions for her, instead of with her. We did not just visit her in her lab; we hovered over her in her lab."

"None of us gave her credit for having enough sense not to perform dangerous tests. Sam wants a healthy happy baby. She would not do anything to hurt it, and we should have known that. Please, do not go over the top the other way now, and stop caring for her physically and emotionally. That is not what she wants," Daniel exclaimed, as he realized what Martouf had been thinking.

Still frowning as he contemplated them, he asked, "You brought the letter with you, didn't you?"

"Yes, we did. Why?"

"I think it is time for you to read it again. You should read it again and really listen and think about what she is saying. Maybe now, you will be able to read it and fully understand it. I am not sure either of us did before. In fact, what I said earlier about checking on her a dozen times a day? You know, just stopping by and talking to her? I do not think that is what she was upset about at all. She knows we love her and care for her, and she enjoys our company. That was not the problem. It was all the decisions we took away from her, Martouf. Everything, from what she should eat to when she should sleep. We took control of her life, and that is what she could not stand. We were treating her as if she was child," Daniel said excitedly, as the full truth burst upon him. He could not believe that he had missed it until now.

"Daniel, she told me that she was watching a movie in the rec room and someone changed the channel because, '_she should not watch horror movies because of the baby_'. People were always bringing her milk and fruit, and I always convinced her to eat or drink it, whether she wanted it or not. One day they took her coffee away and gave her milk instead, and I allowed them to do it. Moreover, because she did not want to cause a fuss, she allowed it as well. Not only that, but she probably felt that I would not support her, but would side against her. Daniel, Dear Goddess, what have we done? It is worse than we thought it was," Martouf exclaimed, visibly upset.

"Well, at least we know what _not_ to do when we get her back. Where are you going?" He asked, as Martouf got up and went to his backpack.

"I wish to read the letter again, as you suggested. I believe that it could prove helpful to me."

"Good idea," Daniel agreed, and then he sat quietly as Martouf and Lantash opened their letter.

They spread the letter out, and read it by the light of the fire. They were not sure they really needed the letter, for they had almost memorized it, but they wanted to see Samantha's handwriting. This time when they read it, certain lines jumped out at them. It was as if they could suddenly see only the things that were important, the statements that, before now, they refused to or had been unable to, understand. Now they stood out in stark relief; they stood up and shouted at them. And finally, at last, they listened and understood.

My dearest loves,

the things I wish you both to know above all else… I love you both and I am sorry…

People no longer believe that I still a have a mind, and that I know what I want and/or need…

I _want_ this baby… I _want_ another one after it is born…_I want to be cuddled when I cry and comforted when I am sick… I want my body to be cared for and the precious cargo it is carrying to be fine and healthy…_

I _do not _want people to become suddenly deaf when I tell them what I need or want…

What I do not want is for Sam Carter to disappear and become invisible… I do not want people to become suddenly deaf when I tell them what I need or want…

I _do not_ want my opinions, my thoughts, my feelings, and my needs to suddenly be unimportant, irrelevant, irrational, insignificant, trivial, or just plain wrong, for the simple reason that I am pregnant…

Being pregnant, no matter what anyone believes to the contrary, does not equal stupid, incompetent, incapable, inept, foolish, or inefficient…

I am so sorry…

I am sorry…I did not want to leave you…God, I miss you both so much already…

I need you, Lantash.

You will be in such pain, Lantash, because of me, and I am so sorry…The last thing in the world I wanted to do was to cause you this kind of pain… I hope you can eventually forgive me for inflicting it on you… Just thinking about the amount of pain that I must be causing you is hurting me… You cannot possibly know how very much I love you, for I do not have the words to express its depth… I hope you can eventually forgive me… I did not want this for you, for us

I need you, Martouf.

You are assuring him the two of you will find me and I pray you will because I don't think I can stand to be gone from you for long… It has already been too long, and I have not even left the mountain or walked through the Stargate… I will tell you the same things I told Lantash…You cannot possibly know how very much I love you, for I do not have the words to express its depth... I never wanted to hurt you, to cause you so much pain, or make you so angry.

I wish I was less independent, less decisive, and more what you need me to be. my inability to accept being taken care of so completely is really at the bottom of this.

I truly am sorry. I did try, I really did. You have no idea how upset I am at myself because _I failed in my attempt to change for you._

I hope I have not upset you so much you will not come for me…

I _want_, I _need_ to be with you, near you…It is tearing me apart inside…

Do not come for me until you can hear me…I cannot stand to live without you in my life; I cannot stand to live with you without _me_ in your life… I know _you think_ you have no clue as to where I am, but _once you begin to believe me, then you will be able to find me… _

_I do love you both _very, very much… Please try to understand… And come to me, my loves… Soon. I am waiting for you…

Your Samantha.

P.S. Please do not be angry anymore. I am really sorry and by now, I am crying myself to sleep every night, missing you. Hurry. S.C.

Lantash caught his breath as pain knifed through them. Remorse, hot and bitter, filled them. So many times, she had said she was sorry. She was sorry. However, she was not the one who should be apologizing, as Daniel had pointed out, they owed her the apology. She was waiting for them, had been waiting for them for days now, as they wallowed in self-pity, resentment, and anger. Moreover, both Daniel and Samantha had been correct. Now that they could hear her, they knew exactly where she was.

"Daniel, we must go at once. Samantha needs us. She needs us to love her and care for her. She needs to know that we do not want her to change; that we love her as she is. More than anything else, she needs to know that we can hear her now. Come, Daniel, hurry. It is still daylight on earth, and I wish to return at once, so that I may go to her as soon as possible, and be with her there, as she has wished for us to be. If we go now, I will have time to clean up and gather some things to take with me. We can return for the remainder of our personal belongings later, if that is the way she chooses it to be."

Standing and beginning to roll up his sleeping bag, Daniel asked quietly, "So, I take it you have decided you know where she went?"

"Yes. As you told me, when I was truly ready to trust her and to hear her, I would know where she was. And now I do, just as you do, and as you have the entire time we have been here," Lantash came forward to say, as they continued to pack their few belongings haphazardly into their back pack and swiftly roll up their sleeping bag. Thank the universe; they had not used a tent, choosing instead to sleep either in the open or in the temple one night, during a rain shower.

"Would you care to accompany me to the Tok'Ra Tunnels, Daniel? You would get to see Freya and Anise, and we can both apologize to Samantha at the same time," he said.

Daniel grinned at him, realizing they were not angry that he had not told him where she was, and said, "Sure, why not? I would not mind seeing Freya and Anise. They are not due back on earth for a couple of weeks, yet. It will be a nice surprise for them, and I will enjoy it as well. I guess we can grovel to Sam together."

After putting the last of their things in the pack and putting out their campfire, he turned to Daniel and laid his hand on his arm stopping him for a moment. "We wish to thank you for refusing to tell us, Daniel. It is a very good feeling to know that we have truly been able to hear her and have learned to trust her. I have no doubts whatsoever about going to her now, and that is completely due to your friendship to both of us."

Grinning suddenly at Daniel, he said, "Let us go. We must get there as soon as possible, for if we are lucky, Samantha will be asleep, and we can be there when she awakens."

Daniel nodded in agreement. "To Earth," he said, as they started toward the gate.

TBC


	7. Sudden Arrivals 7 BRSP

**_Chapter Seven Summary:_**_ Selmak and General Hammond discuss the possibility that there are more symbiotes somewhere. Martouf/Lantash and Daniel arrive and they are relieved to see and talk to Jacob/Selmak. While getting ready to go to the tunnels, there is an off-world activation. It is the Tok'Ra and it is not good news. _

**_"Italics -_**_ Symbiote-Host communication_

* * *

_**Breathing Space**_

**_Chapter Seven_**

**_Sudden Arrivals_**

* * *

George Hammond caught up with Jacob and Selmak the next morning in the cafeteria. They saw Dr. Fraiser leaving as they came in, so they joined their friend.

"Well, Jacob you look, ah, refreshed, this morning. Contented even. And from the looks of the glances the two of you were getting, I am assuming the rumor mill is working overtime, and grinding out rumors as fast as it can."

"Be sure it is, George. You would think that grown men and women would have better things to do than speculate about other people, wouldn't you?"

"Not gonna work, Jake. Spare me the gory details but, _spill_," George Hammond demanded.

Jacob spilled, albeit, without going into the _gory _details.

When he finished, George nodded saying, "Good, I hoped you would eventually get up the nerve to ask her out."

Selmak allowed Jacob to flush. "I didn't. Selmak did. And she accepted him." He grinned broadly, adding, "But we both spent the time with her and enjoyed it immensely.

"I am glad to hear it. I think you were the only one around that did not know she found you attractive."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me, George?"

"Why? You would just have said she was too young, or come up with some other excuse. That is why I always leave you there. I kept thinking that eventually it would penetrate that thick skull that she was interested. At least Selmak saw it. It seems to me that he has a lot more sense than you do, Jake."

"Thanks, George, I will remember that," Jacob laughed back at him, taking the teasing in good part.

"So what are you and Selmak up to today? Care to make another round of the base and do some more PR?"

"Sure, might as well. I really hope Martouf and Lantash come back today. I am beginning to worry myself, now, and I know that Sam must be getting worried again. I just have to keep telling myself to trust Daniel to help them to work through this. I am sure she is doing the same, but this is the fourth day they have been gone, and I will admit to a little concern."

"I know, Jacob. I think that in almost every situation, being the one on the waiting end is the hardest."

"Yes. And women have done it for millennia. They have waited for their men to return from war, from work, and from the bar. I don't know how they did it."

George nodded thinking about the different women who waited. Mothers waited for sons, wives for husbands, sisters for brothers. And in some wars, they had been all three within the same conflict.

Selmak's voice brought him out of his reverie, "I am ready whenever you are, General Hammond."

The general looked at him, and said, "George. My name is George. Please use it, friends always do."

"Thank you, George, I would be happy to do so."

George frowned before asking, "Do Tok'Ra have any other name? I mean, how do you each know who you are talking about, or is it that a name is never repeated?"

"In the Goa'uld there are enough of them that names are sometimes repeated. As far as we know, Egeria did not run out of names for her offspring. We are each named with one name. However, if there was ever a question then we would take the name of the place where we were born. I am actually Selmak of Sierresha, which translates into a rather long sentence."

"Well, you have me curious now. What does it mean?" George Hammond wanted to know, intrigued.

"It means Selmak of the lake that is gazing quietly upon beautiful high places." He smiled wryly. "I did tell you it was a long sentence. Our clutch was born and raised in a lake that was near a very beautiful mountain range. The climate was warm in the valley and only one of the mountain streams fed into it. There were hot springs at the base of the mountain, and the water mixed with that, and by the time it reached the lake it was warm and comfortable. I have been back there a few times, and it is still a very undeveloped area."

His voice and face devoid of emotion, he continued, "I have looked in some of the other lakes to see if Egeria left other offspring there, but have found none. I have not looked in all the lakes, though, and still have hope that the next one I find will have some. We have always felt it strange that there were not more of us. While it is true that we numbered many thousands, still, most queens breed many more than Egeria did. I have never mentioned my suspicion but I often check when we go to a world that we know for a fact Egeria visited. And, of course, there are no doubt worlds that we do not even realize she was on." He sighed again, as he contemplated the certain demise of the Tok'Ra as a species eventually.

George looked startled for a moment, before saying, "I never even considered that there could be more Tok'Ra that have never been found. I will tell my people to be aware as they explore different worlds. It does not hurt to know that. It is something of which we should be aware. I am not sure how we would know that they were Tok'Ra and not Goa'uld, though," he said, frowning.

"Should you ever run across a lake that contains Goa'uld, they will attempt to take a host that gets near the edge of the water. If it is Tok'Ra, they will come to the edge of the water, but they will not attempt to take a human just because they stand by the water. They would have to be invited to come."

"How would you invite one to come out?" George wanted to know.

"If they allow you to pick them up, they are very probably Tok'Ra and not Goa'uld. However, for safety's sake, should your people ever run across some symbiotes, it would be best if you contacted us. We could determine with fair accuracy if they are Tok'Ra. There are a series of hand signals, and an answering pattern they would swim in, to let us know that they are of Egeria. We do know that Egeria planned at least a dozen clutches. Most of the Tok'Ra you know, are from three of those clutches. We do not know if she managed to give birth to that many before she was captured or not. We have only ever found symbiotes from those three locations. Unfortunately, she did not leave specific information within our memories as to where she meant to give birth. We have only vague allusions, very similar to where I was born."

"What kinds of allusions?"

"Lake whose waters lie under the near stars. Lake that lies where the warm winds blow. Lake that gazes upon the snow and clouds. Very vague, I'm afraid, but I do try to look when I come across a place that looks as if it would fit any one of the many descriptions we have."

General Hammond frowned again. "Are you sure those aren't lines from longer poems or legends? They sound like they could be part of something else. Perhaps she emphasized those things but they are out of context?"

Selmak stared at the general. "Why, in two thousand years, have we never thought of that? It is strange that you would see it at once. Thank you, George; we will do some looking into that possibility."

George nodded. "When Dr. Jackson gets back, give it to him and Anise. Between the two of them, if there is anything to my suggestion, they will find it."

"I will, George. And," he sighed, "I wish for Samantha's sake that they would come back. I know she is very upset about this, and it is not good for her to be so stressed."

"I know, but you put her mind at rest. She will trust Daniel to help them, and no doubt, she would rather wait an extra day or so, rather than have them regress and it start all over."

"Very true. Well, I guess we should get started. Where would you like us to begin?"

"The gym first today? That way we can make our way around and hit the infirmary last."

Selmak grinned, his mood lightening at those words, "An excellent idea, George. Lead the way."

Laughing lightly, the two men made their way toward the gym.

* * *

Janet and Jacob left the cafeteria after having a cup of tea together. Selmak did not like coffee and Janet liked tea as well as coffee so they had enjoyed a cup of tea and a piece of cake. The klaxons blared an off world activation and Janet watched as they tensed.

"Go, Jacob. I need to get back anyway, for as I told you, we had some injuries on SG-5 earlier today. Go, go."

Leaning towards her, he kissed her swiftly, saying, "Thanks, sweetheart, I will," before walking quickly toward the control room. He really was expecting it to be Daniel and Martouf at last. He and the General entered the control room at the same time, both of them just in time to hear Sergeant Davis, announce, "It is SG-1's signal, sir."

"Open the iris, Sergeant Davis," the General said calmly, as he and Jacob headed for the gate room. They were standing and watching the event horizon, as Martouf and Daniel stepped onto the ramp. Jacob noticed at once that Martouf looked calm and controlled. He did not seem to be overly tense, but neither was he completely relaxed. Just in case he had made Daniel bring him back, Jacob decided not to mention Sam first.

"Did she return with you, Jacob or do I still need to go to her?" Martouf ask quietly, as he reached him, and they clasped arms. Jacob realized that Martouf's grip was quite tight, showing that he was not as stress free as he appeared.

"Let's go to the General's office. She is fine, but she is not here."

Martouf nodded, as if he had expected that answer. As Daniel started to walk away, he turned to him. "Please, come with us, Daniel. You should hear whatever Jacob has to relate to me."

"If you are sure?" Daniel asked.

"I am sure, Daniel. You deserve to hear this, as well," Martouf said quietly.

Hesitating only slightly, he nodded and turned to go with them to the General's office.

"So, how was your camping trip, Martouf? Did you find anything worthwhile?" Jacob asked, keeping the discussion light, until they could reach the General's office.

"We camped by a beautiful lake where the stars seemed to set upon the waters at night. They looked to be so near you felt as if you could reach out and touch them. Daniel discovered that the planet used to belong to a queen who at one time was allied with Egeria. You would know of her also Selmak. Lantash could not remember too much about her other than they parted ways when Egeria became more radical in her aims than she was willing to be."

"What was her name?" Jacob conveyed Selmak's internal question.

"It was Nekhbet, a very minor player from what we were able to find out. There was no record of what happened to her, and Lantash said he did not know, all he could remember was that she did not believe in using the sarcophagus either. She agreed with Egeria on what it did personality wise. It is a lovely planet, calm, serene, and with a very comfortable climate," Martouf told him quietly, as they approached the general's door.

Once inside his office, and with the door closed on them, they each found seats and proceeded to look at one another, none of them exactly sure where, or how, to begin. Finally, Lantash came forward, to ask, "How is Samantha, Jacob? We wish you to tell us the truth, please. If she has discovered that she is happier, and more content, away from us, we will try to understand, although, I do not think we will succeed."

"As I said, Sam is fine, and she misses you both. So please, don't even start to go down that road of thinking she no longer cares for you; it is a dead end. She loves you, she misses you, and she is waiting for you to get your head outta your butt, and realize what she is saying to you. I hope that the two of you realized where she was on your own? That Daniel did not end up having to tell you?" Jacob asked forthrightly.

"No, he did not have to tell us. We realized less than an hour ago, though, so we cannot claim to have understood what she was trying to tell us right away, nor did we know where she was. We have, however, finally come to the realization of what she was trying so very hard to tell us. I am sorry we let her down, Jacob."

Jacob shook his head. "Actually, she realized some things, too, and if I had not offered to come here for her, and check on you, she would have returned herself. I suggested that she stay in the Tunnels, and let me come here and check on the two of you. After hearing her side of it, I wanted to get your side, too, although I admit, I felt she was right to get the hell outta Dodge for a while, er, that is to say, leave so you would have time to come to terms with things. That is why I did not encourage her to return with me. Selmak agreed. If you really have been as overprotective as she said, then you both needed to do some thinking, as much as she did."

"We have been overbearing and overprotective. Looking back, we are surprised Samantha remained with us as long as she did. We have been foolish, and have treated her as if she was a child instead of a grown woman, who was capable of making her own decisions. Does that answer your questions, Jacob?" Lantash answered him, bluntly and concisely. "We also realize that she could have talked to us until she had no more words, and we still would not have heard her. As difficult as it is to admit, she was right to leave us and force us to face what we were doing to her, to ourselves, and to our relationship." Lantash looked Jacob straight in the eyes, hiding nothing, as he spoke. There was not a doubt that they were willing to take the complete responsibility for what had happened, and that they were sincere in there statements.

Jacob relaxed, and said quietly, "She understands why you were being the way you were, Lantash. She does not really blame you; she was just trying to get you to stop, before it drove a wedge between you. I said she came to some realizations, and I meant it. She came to realize what a truly astounding thing this is for you. How very rare this kind of thing is, and therefore, how nervous it is making you. She understands your fear. How terrifying it is to know that you could lose her and the child. But she also knows that she could lose you, too, and it is something that all of you have to live with. She is very aware that everything you did, you did for love of her and the child, and she is very touched by that. I really think she could come back now and make it work, but it would be a whole lot better, for everyone involved, if she didn't have to come back and _make _it work, or _manage_ to live with it."

Daniel spoke up before Lantash could castigate himself and Martouf anymore. "I do not think that Lantash and Martouf can take the entire blame for this, Jacob. All of us, from Janet to Jack to me have to take a fair amount of it. Even the other SGC members were being overprotective. Mostly it was us, though. I am sorry we allowed it to happen. I am sorry I allowed it to happen. I should have known better and protected her from us. I let her down, too."

"As long as you can all stop, now, and just care for her, not smother her, I think she will be fine, and so will you. I have to tell you, though, that what you all were doing, while it was driving her crazy, was not the final thing that made her actually make the decision to leave. She laid her plans well in advance, true, but she did not know when, or if, she would actually do it."

Martouf had taken over from Lantash, as they felt that they should both take part of any reprimands. He asked now, obviously puzzled, "If it was not what we were doing, then what was it, Jacob?"

"Oh, it was what you were doing. If it had gone no farther, she _might_ not have run, although truth to tell, I have a suspicion that you would have done something sooner or later that would have pushed her over the edge. But, the final straw was when she realized that not only was someone following her to the restroom, but there was an airman waiting in her room when she finished her shower to be sure she was all right, and she had been assigned to stand guard all night outside the door, "_just in case"_ something happened."

Martouf frowned. "I am sorry, Jacob, but we did not do those things, and if Samantha believes we did, then she is wrong. We will freely admit to seeing to it that she ate well, rested often, did not over-work or lift heavy things, always had someone with her in her lab, never walked up or down stairs alone, and did not venture through the Chaappa'ai."

"We will also freely admit that we refused to take her to the Tok'Ra on a visit. We allowed Janet to run more tests than were probably necessary, and we considered staying behind instead of going on missions, until we decided that Nyan could keep her company. We were instrumental in getting her a lab assistant. We refused to allow her to leave the base without an armed and capable escort."

"We did _not_ assign a guard for her while she was on base, going to the restroom, or showering. That would have been ridiculous." Martouf was quite indignant. How could his Samantha have believed that anyone was doing those things? Had they driven her to paranoia?

"No, Martouf, I know you did not. Sam did not think you did it either, but it made her realize that the situation was not going to get better on its own; that it would just get worse. You need to take it up with Jack. It seems that he assigned the guards. Sam told me that it had Jack's fingerprints all over it, and she was right. The thing is, she was not sure you did not know about it and simply turned a blind eye, or even actively agreed with him. So, she put her long laid plans into action and left."

Martouf's eyes narrowed and became hard, his fists clenched until his knuckles turned white, his lips thinned as he clenched his jaws tightly and General Hammond realized he was seeing Martouf's temper on its own, without Lantash holding him back, "_I will kill him. I will kill him slowly_. How dare he do that to us? Does he have no idea what damage he may have inflicted on our relationship? Of course, perhaps, that is what he wanted," he said, bitterly.

"Martouf that is just not true. Jack knows you care for Sam; he knows how much Sam loves you, and he would not do anything to hurt her. He was just being overprotective like the rest of us, that is all," Daniel hurried in to pour oil on the troubled waters. He hoped no one had a match. "We did discuss it early on, remember? And we decided it was not necessary _at the time._ Maybe Jack took that to mean that it would be necessary later. Try to stay calm about this."

Martouf's eyes flared, and Lantash came forward to say, "He will not hurt Colonel O'Neill, Daniel, I will not allow it. Although, I may allow him to threaten him and, as I have heard others of the Tau'ri say, make sure he knows that if it happens again, he will truly wish he had never been born." He sighed. "But, what you said is true, also. We did discuss it, along with numerous, and we now realize, ridiculous, other suggestions and when Martouf has time to think about it, he will realize that it was not entirely the Colonel's fault.. We were all at fault when you get to the bottom of the situation. I just desire to see it speedily resolved."

"And," he continued, turning back to face Jacob, "the truth we suddenly saw this evening when we re-read her letter, is that it was not so much the things we were doing, as it was that we had taken over her life, and were allowing her to make no decisions, even when it pertained to her and her own body. That is what we must guard against most, but it must also be accompanied by a lessening of our surveillance of her. Samantha will do nothing that would harm either herself or her child. We have always trusted her, and there is no reason to stop doing so now. We simply had to be reminded of that. We are much more comfortable with the entire situation now, Jacob, I assure you."

Jacob relaxed, agreed, and decided the subject had been gone over enough. They had obviously learned what needed to be learned, and Sam could look forward to a change in their attitude and actions.

Trying to lighten the conversation, he said, "I am sure she will be glad to see you, Lantash. She is missing you both as I said, very much. Although, do not be surprised if she insists on bringing one of Tashmar's offspring home. She seems to have fallen in love with the little devils. And Tash is worming his way even deeper into her affections by following her around and acting as a body guard. She said he reminds her of you and the guys. So that should tell you she still loves you all," he grinned, as Lantash began to smile for the first time since they had returned.

"I am glad she has gotten to see them, Jacob. She has been wanting to ever since they hatched. I should have brought her at once, as soon as we knew they had arrived. Neither Martouf, nor I, will make that kind of mistake again, I assure you."

Jacob nodded saying, "Now that Anise has found a way to synthesize a food for them, the lizards can go anywhere it can be made. They aren't nearly as particular about what they eat as we thought they were. Those black bugs just happen to be their favorite food and what they prefer."

Changing the subject he asked, "What are your plans for now? I assume you plan to go to the Tunnels? It is still the middle of the night on Corlatt, and Sam was probably in bed several hours ago. It will not even be daylight there for three or four more hours."

"We came back so we could get cleaned up, and then Daniel and we are going to go to the Tunnels to see our respective mates. We wish to be there when she awakens," Martouf took control and answered Jacob's questions.

"Good idea. Go ahead and do that. I will wait around here for a while, yet, but I may go back through with you." Then thinking of Janet, he added, "if not, then tomorrow for sure."

Selmak came forward, and turned to Daniel, saying, "I do hope that when you, Freya, and Anise decide to have children that you will have learned from this."

Daniel looked at him blankly for a moment, before saying, "But, I didn't think we could have children."

"There is no reason you cannot, Daniel. You must discuss it with Anise. She can insure that Freya's eggs mature and are released at the most opportune moment and then, after a couple of months, she will simply become dormant until the child is born. I believe it would be an excellent event, and it will ensure that your children and Martouf, Lantash and Samantha's children all grow up together and have playmates."

"It would be a wonderful happening, Daniel. What Selmak says is true, and I know it is something about which Samantha has worried. That is, I know she has worried that our children will have no one to play with. I am aware that many children grow up without playmates, but if they can have them, it is so much better for them. You should think about it, and discuss it with Freya and Anise," Martouf said, as he joined the conversation.

Daniel looked stunned at the thought, but said, "Yes. I – I will. I had assumed, but if it can, that is, if we can, I did not know, we should talk, yes, I – I will."

Lantash grinned. He did not think he had ever heard his friend so without a coherent thought.

"Come along, Daniel. We will go and get cleaned up so that we may leave as soon as possible."

"What? Oh. Oh, yes, of course," Daniel mumbled, as he stood and followed Lantash from the room. The two men and the symbiote in the office behind them laughed aloud, as they remembered the shock on Daniel's face.

They got up as well and walked down the hall toward the infirmary. After telling Jacob and Selmak he would see them later, General Hammond stopped, and then turned back to them, as if just having a thought. "Of course," he said quietly, "Dr. Fraiser is still young enough to have children as well." Having dropped that bombshell, he turned and walked off down the hall leaving a stunned Tok'Ra behind him.

* * *

Not quite two hours later, Daniel and Martouf were heading towards the General's office when the klaxons went off, and they heard the always ominous words, "Unscheduled off world activation." They sprinted toward the control room and entered just as the technician on duty was telling Jacob and the General who it was.

"It is the Tok'Ra, Sir." Then he gasped, "General! This is showing up as a code red. They are coming in hot." He watched as the code changed from simply red to the next level. He bit out the new information." Code Red One. They are under fire, sir!"

"Open the iris," the General barked, but Sergeant Davis was already reaching for it. The general hit the intercom and called for defense teams and med teams to head for the gate room. Jacob stood frozen watching the event horizon as supplies and people started pouring through. Jack and Teal'c arrived in the control room, and as a group, they moved toward the gate room.

No enemy fire was coming through the event horizon yet, but the Tok'Ra that began to arrive were disheveled and had cuts, bruises, and wounds of assorted kinds. Martouf and Lantash stood silently beside Jacob, Selmak, Daniel, and the General, their attention riveted on the event horizon. There did not appear to be any serious injuries. Where was Malek? Arwanna? Daimesh? Anise? And even more important to them, where was Samantha? What in the Goddess's name had happened?

Jack, Teal'c, and numerous airmen had sprung forward to help with the supplies that were coming through, helping to move it off the ramp.

_"Good God, Sel, it looks to be less than half of the Tok'Ra personnel from the Corlatt base. Where the hell are the rest, and the supplies and equipment they should have been shoving through? It looks as if they managed to save very little equipment. What in the hell do you think happened? And where in the hell is Sam?"_ Jacob asked his symbiote the plainly rhetorical question, his tension apparent.

Even though it was obvious to him that Jacob did not expect a reply, Selmak answered steadily and calmly, telling him_, "Only a surprise attack would cause this much disruption and so little equipment saved and moved through. The gate on Corlatt is on the surface; everything would need to be transported to it. If the attack was sudden, they would not have had time to do so. As for where Samantha is, I am sure we will soon know, as it appears the equipment coming through is slowing, and more of our people are coming through with it."_

_"Not enough, Sel, no where near as many Tok'Ra as there should be._"

Selmak sighed, sadness almost overwhelming him. So many of their brethren had already been lost. "_I am aware, Jacob. I am aware."_

As Selmak had predicted, the last of the supplies they did seem to have salvaged were sent through, and those who had been frantically shoving things into the event horizon as gliders were firing on them, dove through the gate along with dirt, dust, rocks, and sand. The two Tok'Ra standing and watching the event horizon realized one very important fact; Sam was not with them. Selmak took over as he felt Jacob's panic rising, and Lantash did the same for Martouf. As the event horizon shut down, Selmak demanded of Aldwin, the Tok'Ra who was the last one through the gate, and who had landed almost at their feet, "Where are Samantha and the others?"

Realizing that Jacob feared for his daughter, and Martouf and Lantash for their mate, Aldwin replied at once, "They are on Verduna, and as far as we are aware, they are safe, Selmak. She was not on Corlatt when the attack began, and as you can see, well over half of our people are already relocated. As soon as we received word that Amset was told our location, and that he was on his way with a fleet, we began the evacuation. We attempted to convince Samantha to return here, but she refused, insisting that she would help with the evacuation first, and then return to Earth, if she needed to. She agreed to go through to the new home world with the first group and to work on the receiving end. Furthermore, she agreed to do no lifting or moving of anything, but instead she will be overseeing, directing, and deciding, along with Freya…and, er, Anise, where equipment will be placed as well as where we should store those pieces that have no place to go yet. "

Both Selmak and Lantash relaxed marginally as the relief swept through both them and their hosts. She was safe. The word continued to echo through Martouf and Lantash's joined minds. Safe. However, now that they knew that, they wanted to hear everything that happened. Such as, why, if they were already sending people through to Verduna, were both the remainder of their equipment and the remnants of Corlatt's Tok'Ra, suddenly forced to go to Earth?

Realizing that Selmak, Lantash and their hosts had questions, Aldwin attempted to save some time and answer some of them before they were asked, "We had all day yesterday and most of tonight to evacuate so we knew we could get everything. We managed to pack up all of our personal belongings, all of the science equipment, everything. Samantha, Malek, Anise, Christophe, Arwanna, and Daimesh, were in the first group to go. They went through to receive things and begin to grow the tunnels," he paused as an airman handed him a much appreciated bottle of water. He tiredly smiled his thanks, before turning back to Selmak, Jacob, Martouf, and Lantash.

He took another long drink, sighing in appreciation, as it ran smoothly down his parched throat and then, lacking a napkin or handkerchief, he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. He sounded a little better when he returned to what he was telling them, "Later some of the others went through with some equipment, but they came back and relayed the information that the new tunnels were growing quickly, and the engineers had chosen well. That group went back through several more times with both equipment and personal belongings. They would help transport things to the tunnels and then come back for more. Finally, they had no choice but to remain on Verduna, as that end became as busy as our end was. They were needed there to help sort, categorize, and if nothing else, at least place the items into a designated area."

He reached up and kneaded his neck, working on the knots making themselves felt and massaging Gerim as well, before starting to relate the remainder of his information, "Several groups worked in that manner, until we were down to what you see here. We were to have been the last group through. Someone packed your belongings and sent them through, Selmak, so they are at the new base." Turning his gaze to Lantash, he said, "I believe that Samantha took what you left on the base with her, Lantash, when she went through to Verduna."

Returning to his previous subject, he told them, "As I mentioned, we all worked through the night until just a short time ago. It could not have been more than an hour, or perhaps two at the absolute most, that the last group went through the Chaappa'ai to Verduna. As I stated previously, we managed to get everything through, except what you see here. We finished the packing of our own belongings and the few remaining odds and ends that could have been abandoned had there been a need."

"As soon as we had everything gathered we tried to dial Verduna, and the gate would not engage. We assumed they were trying to dial us to perhaps come back and help, so we waited, but nothing happened. We then continued to try to reach them, until we realized we had very possibly waited too long, and would soon be under attack. The tunnels were already collapsed, so we could not retreat to them, even had we wished to, which, in any event, we did not and would not. When we still could not dial Verduna, we decided to come here, so you would know what had happened, and we could continue in our attempt to make contact with the others from here."

Once again sighing, as he recalled sending the codes through the open gate, he sounded even more tired as he continued, saying, "The first of the gliders appeared and began to bombard us within moments of our decision. Luckily, the way the Chaappa'ai is situated on Corlatt made it very difficult for them to be accurate in their attempts to annihilate us. Although it is on the surface, if you will remember, Selmak, it is surrounded by hills in all directions except for the small gap through which we passed to access the Tunnels."

Glancing around, he quickly took stock of how much damage the Tok'Ra had sustained. He turned back to Selmak and Lantash, and then indicating the other Tok'Ra, who were, at least for the moment, simply resting and drinking their water, he took up his story once again, "Most of the injuries that you see are from rocks and sand that the blasts were throwing up, and therefore were not terribly significant, however there was one pilot who appeared to have less difficulty in navigating the area. Having previously made the decision to come to Earth, Jalen had already dialed the address and sent the code telling you that we were in danger. When the Jaffa pilot appeared to be becoming much more accurate in his attempts to kill us, we changed the code from the simple red for danger to red-one indicating we were now in peril. We were very thankful to receive the all clear signal from here as it had become questionable whether we could all make it through along with the remainder of our belongings and equipment without loss of life. However, we all made it. Even," he smiled fully for the first time since they arrived at the SGC, "Tashmar and family. They are in the very large crate over there." He nodded toward a large crate that had holes in it.

Once again turning back to Selmak and Lantash, he said as his smile faded, "I am sorry, Selmak, but we have no idea why the Chaappa'ai would not engage, and therefore, why we cannot get through to Verduna. As for the Tok'Ra already on Verduna, we are assuming that they will soon realize that they cannot dial Corlatt and try here, if they can dial out at all." He drew what, for all intents and purposes, had turned into his report on the preceding events to a close.

"You are sure our people were alright? They were not perhaps under attack there?"

"Not as far as we know. Besides, even if they were under attack, the gate should have engaged."

Selmak frowned. That was true.

Lantash assimilated all the information. Samantha was all right. She had already been at the new base. Whatever had happened, she would work to fix it if it was on that end. Finally, he said quietly, "Samantha will get word to us as soon as they realize they cannot connect with the gate on Corlatt, if there is any possible way that she can. She will assume you came here, if you were able to get away, and they will be worried about all of you. Did we have any ships that were on the base that were flown out?"

Aldwin looked startled that he had forgotten that. "Yes, we had two. Korlan and Jorlin took one and May'et and Torlesh took the other. But neither one was in good repair. They were newly acquired, and each had problems we were working on fixing. They are traveling together and will take almost two weeks to reach Verduna if," he continued ominously, "they have no other problems. I am afraid that the general consensus was that two weeks was being extremely optimistic. They are traveling together in case either has trouble, as it is expected they will."

"Both of the Alkesh that are in decent condition are on missions under operational silence. One of them took a grave chance and broke their silence to get the message about the attack to us, and then immediately went back undercover. We are fairly sure they were not detected, but we cannot take the chance of trying to contact them again. I am sorry, Lantash."

Lantash nodded decisively, "No, of course we cannot, and I would not consider doing so. However, we must attempt to contact the other two, so that they will know there may be problems when they reach Verduna. Whatever has happened, if they can contact us, they will. In the meantime, we should continue to attempt to connect from here."

Pausing in thought for only a moment, his conclusions reached, he then continued, "There is always the possibility that the gate malfunctioned. It does happen, and that is why we carry spare parts for the dialing devices. Do you know where they are?"

"Yes, they are on Verduna. If there is a malfunction, then they will have to find the parts and that will take time," Aldwin sighed, obviously tired, and now that the crisis was passed, he was feeling the aftereffects, even though his symbiote was attempting to let him come down gently from the adrenaline high.

Aldwin cleared his throat, obviously a little uncomfortable, then plunged ahead and asked his question, "Lantash, how far along is Samantha? She looks, um, very pregnant."

"In four days time, she will be seven months. She will have only two months to go, give or take three weeks," Lantash said grimly, as Martouf soothed him from within, as he felt the beginnings of the old fear rising. _"Samantha will be fine; she is with Arwanna and Anise. They have all of the medical equipment and our trained healers are there. They will be fine, Lantash."_

_"I know, Martouf. Thank you for reminding me. We must continue to do so for each other. I have a feeling the next two weeks, or possibly more, will be very long indeed." _

Aldwin acknowledged Lantash's answer with a simple nod.

"Let's go try to contact Verduna, and then see about contacting the Alkesh and the Tel'tak that are on their way there," General Hammond said, knowing it would be better if they had something to do that was constructive.

* * *

An hour later, SG-1, Jacob, General Hammond, Aldwin, and a Tok'Ra engineer named Laurent sat in the General's office.

Laurent looked around the table at the grim faces and sighed. He did not have good news. "We still do not know why the gate will not connect to Verduna. There is no way to tell from here. We have not managed to contact the Alkesh or the Tel'tak. Jorlin said when they left that they had at least two crystals in the Tel'tak's engine that were in very poor condition, so they could both have to slow down considerably. The estimate of two weeks for them to reach the new base is probably being optimistic in the extreme. I believe it will be, at a minimum, three to four earth weeks before they reach Verduna."

Aldwin spoke up to enforce the seriousness of the ship's situation, "There is nothing we can do about that situation but wait, for we cannot take the chance on them splitting up and one of them completely failing. Our people would be drifting without defenses if that happened."

"Selmak, we must decide where we are going to go. As the ranking Tok'Ra in our group, you are in command. We cannot go back to Corlatt and we cannot go forward to Verduna. We could go to one of the other bases if we knew for sure where they are, but as you know, that is no longer information that is freely known throughout the Tok'Ra. So although we could find out it would not be a prudent thing to attempt. I do not believe we should take the chance on our communication being tapped into."

"No, only under the direst of circumstances will we do that. As has already been pointed out, all we can do is wait until our ships reach Verduna. Three weeks is not that long. As for where we will go, General Hammond has talked to his president, and they are offering us accommodations here at the SGC, until we can get to Verduna, and I have accepted. I already have a group helping to turn some of the unused storage rooms into sleeping quarters. There are not enough private rooms, but most are willing to share accommodations. The bonded pairs are being put into the smaller storage areas. The larger rooms we convert will be communal, for those who are single."

"We will continue with any missions that anyone had planned, and some of us may temporarily join SGC teams. We will consider this a get to know you time between the symbiotes, hosts, and members of the SGC. Other than that, all we can do is to continue waiting. Thank you for your report. Sergeant Davis will take you and show you where everything is. You will find him in the control room. You are all exhausted. Go get some rest."

Laurent and Aldwin nodded. They had been dismissed, and they left, glad to be released, for Selmak had stated no more than the truth. They were exhausted.

In the room he left behind there was a tense silence. Finally Lantash broke it. "Samantha will take care of herself and her baby. We have always trusted her, and there is no reason to stop doing so now. We must all remember that."

Jacob came forward and smiled encouragingly at him. "You are right, Lantash. We all know how competent Sam is. We have to trust in her and for that matter in Anise and Malek, Daimesh and Arwanna. They are all good competent people. Whatever has happened, they will take care of it, and if they can't, then when the ships arrive, we will know what the problem is, and what they need to get it back online. Now, very possibly, we have at least three weeks to wait. I suggest we get some missions on the board, and get back to work."

General Hammond drew out some folders. He would keep SG-1 busy for the next three weeks or more if it killed him. And it just might before this was all over. What no one was admitting was that the new base could very well have been attacked and destroyed. If the informant knew where their Corlatt base was he might have known where they were going. However, that was not a possibility that would be discussed. Not yet, anyway.

TBC


	8. Sweet, Sweet Dreams 8 BRSP

_**Chapter Eight Summary: **General Hammond keeps everyone busy with missions as they wait to hear from the ships that are heading for Verduna. Even keeping busy, tensions are high and worry constant, but the lizards provide some comic relief. Tashmar, Jacarta, and offspring arrived with the Tok'Ra. They finally make contact with the Alkesh, but find out that it will take four or more weeks for them to reach their destination. _

_**"Italics" - **Symbiote-Host communications _

_**Ashtek keshta - **We will soon meet again._

* * *

_**Breathing Space**_

**_Chapter Eight_**

**_Sweet, Sweet Dreams_**

* * *

Lantash stood beside a very large crate looking into it with an odd expression on his face. Everyone was still moving things around, as they were continuing to find places to store equipment. The hissing and stomping coming from within the crate was getting louder. Daniel stood beside him, a grin constantly attempting to steal over his face as he watched Lantash and the lizards.

It was amazing how much noise the six lizards were making. Of course, when you considered that the two adults were well over three feet in length, and not exactly slender, it made more sense. They had large healthy lungs and were beginning to make their displeasure at being penned known to one and all. Seeing Lantash and Daniel standing beside the crate and gazing into it, curiosity got the better of him and Jacob joined them.

"Selmak," Lantash said, in a very controlled voice, "I believe that someone should explain to me why Tashmar and Jacarta are guarding not only their offspring, but our desert hats. Martouf is…irritated would, I suppose, be the best way to describe it, although that is something of an understatement. He is being quite vocal in his disapproval, and his whining is becoming annoying. Why do they even _have_ our desert hats? Again?" He asked, his exasperation with the situation obviously making inroads against his former somewhat more stoic stance. "I know I took them back from them." He paused for a moment, before saying, "Tashmar does not even like them. He has always hissed at Martouf when we wore them. I do not understand his obsession with them"

As Selmak snickered in his head, Jacob attempted to answer Lantash for him, but he had to cover his laughter with a coughing spell before he could get the words out. Once he had himself under control, he said, "Well, what you say is true, but if you will remember, Jacarta used to follow Martouf around when he wore them. The best we can figure out is that since Tashmar hated them, and Jacarta loved them, Tashmar figured he would get rid of them and make Jacarta happy all in one move. You found her nest and took them from her the first time. It seemed that Jacarta found them again before they could be disposed of and hid them."

"After you moved here, well, you did not latch your trunk, and Tashmar managed to open it. He took all the new ones you got when your others came up missing. Anyway, Tashmar gave the hats to Jacarta, and she added them to the first salvaged ones. That is what she made her second nest from, and since you were not there, we let her have them that time. I think they are ruined. Again. That was one of the reasons we, ah, allowed her to keep them. They were not good for anything else anyway, by the time we found her second nest. I believe it was Garshaw that pointed out that we might as well leave them, as taking them away again would only cause them to look for something else to use and no telling what they might choose next time. Your hats, at least, were easy to replace." He sighed, adding, "I also think it is time someone took the family for their walk. How we are gonna do this is beyond me. It is not like we can just pop to the surface and let them run wild like we could on Corlatt."

Martouf came forward, and moaned. "Why did they not just leave them on Corlatt? That is their home. What are we to do with them? Moreover, what do we do if they continue to produce offspring? Has anyone thought of that?"

Hearing his voice, Tashmar stood on his hind legs and leaned against the side of the crate, waiting for Martouf to scratch his head. Even as he complained, Martouf reached out to scratch the lizard that had given his Samantha so much comfort and joy during her recovery from her ordeal. He sighed. He was just the least little bit glad they brought him. Samantha would have been heart-broken if anything happened to Tash.

The group of Tok'Ra still working on what to do with the equipment stopped what they were doing and stared at him. "Samantha was worried about them, Martouf. We could not just leave them behind." The shocked tone that Jenal, a Tok'Ra who was standing nearby, used as she answered amazed him. The reproving looks sent his way by the others made him feel unfairly persecuted. They were, after all, legitimate concerns.

Jenal explained further, "We brought food, and the recipe to make more, with us, and we will make them another crate so they will have more room to move around. There are only four little ones. She did not have many eggs. As far as their reproductive cycle, yes, we took that into consideration, and Anise managed to isolate the hormones that cause the production of her eggs. She managed to find a way to block their production, and we simply add it to her food. So far, it has worked, at least, according to the blood work we have conducted."

Seeing the somewhat stunned expressions on the men's faces she continued in a calm and almost overly nonchalant manner, "Anise actually found and perfected it before Jacarta laid eggs for this clutch. She felt that since Jacarta was very young that perhaps it would be best to allow her to have at least one clutch. We also have the instructions for making her, er, birth control, I believe, is what Samantha called it. I am quite sure that the medical personnel here will be able to reproduce it. It is very simple to make and takes common ingredients; there is nothing rare in it from Corlatt or anything on that order."

The men standing by the crate were completely silent and, except for Daniel, their countenances all wore identical dazed, disbelieving looks. Daniel, however, was grinning widely and trying not to laugh as he took in the other's faces. He was the only one that did not find the fact that someone had considered lizard reproduction important enough to study incomprehensible. Finally, Jacob appeared to reclaim his wits and said, "Anise made a birth control substance for the lizard. She actually considered this important enough to take her time to study it."

Jenal raised her eyebrows in a rather haughty gesture before reminding him, "As Martouf just pointed out, Jacob, we could hardly allow Jacarta to reproduce indiscriminately. We took this problem under consideration quite some time ago, and the consensus was that we would attempt to limit the number of offspring, which it appears so far, we have succeeded at doing.

Having obtained normality, Martouf resumed scratching the lizard that was now obviously in bliss, as he asked, his voice somewhat testy, "And who is going to _clean up_ after them since we cannot take them to the surface?"

"If we can bring some sand in they will use that, and it is fairly simple to clean up after them," she replied calmly.

"They are trained to a litter box? Like a cat? Wow," Daniel said. "That is interesting. We knew they were intelligent, but I did not know they could be potty trained. What?" he asked as everyone now stared at him. "Okay, okay, litter trained."

"They probably need to eat and be released for a while. Where could we find some sand, General?" Jenal turned to the General as he joined them.

"I will see what I can do," General Hammond stated. How was he going to write up a requisition for sand for a lizard's toilet facilities and make it sound plausible? "In the meantime, it is dark topside by now, and if our people are careful, they might be able to take the crate up and let them out for bit. I do not suppose they have leashes? Will the adults leave the little ones?"

"Our people are in BDU's now, George, so a couple of them can go too. And, as a matter of fact, they do have leashes, so…" Jacob turned to Jenal.

"I will take care of it, Jacob."

"Good. Thanks." One more problem solved. Thank god, one that had an amusing side now that he thought about it. Selmak snickering in his head as scenes flashed through their shared mind also brought him to consider the humor. He wondered what Jack was gonna say about it, too. They could use something a little more lighthearted to distract them. There was little doubt that Tash would do that. Once they all got used to him, no doubt he and Jacarta would be roaming the SGC halls. He smiled. It would be interesting to see who they liked and who they did not. They were odd creatures in their likes and dislikes and as a pair, they were pretty funny when they liked and disliked opposing people. Just as Tash had hated Martouf's hats and Jacarta had loved them. They had some lizard spats over them, too. It had been pretty darned funny to watch. He was looking forward to new entertainment from them.

A group of Tok'Ra gathered up and put the leashes on the adult lizards. They had become used to being handled and leashed but the young ones did not like their leashes yet, so it was a little bit of a battle to get them on until Jacarta nipped some of them into submission. Tash grunted at them and slapped one with his tail. The SGC personnel watching laughed at their antics, and some offered to take a leash. They put them back in the crate once they secured their leashes and, then picking it up, they headed for the elevator. It was amazing how heavy six lizards could be. It was a good thing they had the extra strength of the Tok'Ra to help. They headed for their first foray on Earth's soil. The Tok'Ra chosen to go with the lizards were excited, although they did not express their anticipation. Although some of them were familiar with the SGC, none of them ever went above ground. This would be the first time they set foot on the actual soil of the first world.

* * *

Four hours and a whole lot of arranging later, they were all settled in, and Sergeant Davis was calling for Lantash and Selmak to come to the control room. They had finally managed to contact the Alkesh and were receiving a message.

"Thank you, Sergeant," Selmak said, as he took over the radio transmission. "Jorlin, what is your status? How are the ships holding up?"

"I am sorry, Selmak, but not well. The Tel'tak has already burned out one crystal, and they have another that is border-line." He heard her sigh, before she said, "We also have some problems that could become worse if we do not take care now. We have had to slow down considerably. I assume the base contacted you to let you know what happened?"

"Not exactly. Jorlin, not everyone went to the new base. Something happened, and we have no way of knowing what. We are contacting you, so that you will be aware that communication between the two bases could not be re-established. The Chaappa'ai would not engage from the old base, nor can we contact the new base from here. Everyone that remained on Corlatt got through unharmed to us here, along with the remainder of the supplies, and Tashmar and family. I am sure that Sam will ask you that when you arrive. And my next question is just that; what is your ETA?"

"At the present rate it will take us four of your weeks, but, Selmak, we are seriously considering slowing down even more. As I stated, we have at least one other crystal about to go. If we do not slow down more voluntarily, we will do so out of necessity if that happens."

"Understood. Keep in contact with us, so that we will know your situation and can relay it to them, if they manage to make contact with us, or we with them. We will be staying here on the Tau'ri base, until you discover what has happened at our new site."

"We understand, Selmak, and we will check in at this time in three of your days."

"Understood." Selmak turned and looked at Lantash expecting to find a very distressed Tok'Ra and host. Instead, he saw Martouf gazing back at him, obviously disturbed, but not in great distress.

"It seems we will have a long wait, if we cannot manage to contact them some other way. Do not look so worried, Selmak, for Lantash and I are fine. We know that they were fine up to an hour or two before the remainder of the Tok'Ra had to come here. The message did not mention changing the new base to another place, so we can assume the Goa'uld did not know where we might go. Therefore, the chance that they cannot contact us because there was an attack is slim. I feel sure it is a technical problem of some kind, and we must simply wait until it is corrected, or our ships arrive."

"As for Samantha, we know that she will do everything possible to care for herself and the baby. We are also confident that she will contact us as soon as she can. For now, that is all we know and speculating about things we cannot change is pointless."

* * *

Lantash and Martouf stood on the edge of a lake once again staring out across it. It was a different lake, but their stance, and the sun glinting on the water, turning it from blue to gold reminded them of the day, so many weeks ago, when they stood staring across another lake on another planet.

_"Shortly after we stood there tossing rocks and thinking, Daniel came out, and we went over our emotions, about Samantha and what had occurred, yet again. Daniel had one of his epiphanies, and realized what Samantha truly wanted and needed. Furthermore, that time when we read the letter, we too, recognized what she was saying to us, what it was that she was asking of us,_" Martouf said quietly.

Lantash caressed Martouf gently, saying softly_, "Yes. Then we returned to the SGC at once, so we could go to her, and tell her that we now understood what she was telling us, what it was that she needed from us. We were going to be there in the Tunnels, when she awoke, so that we could become reunited with our mate, our wife, and hold her in our arms,"_ Lantash agreed, his grief and despair attempting to raise their heads.

_"Do not allow the emotions to hold you in their grip, dear one. We will still have our reunion with her. We both must believe that and not give in to our fears. We have done well for one another. It will not be much longer now. The ships are still on their way, albeit, slowly,"_ Martouf reassured him.

_"I know,"_ Lantash said, as he hugged his host gently. _"Thank you."_

_"No one could have foreseen the events on Corlatt, Lantash. I am thankful that everyone escaped alive and uninjured, even Tashmar, Jacarta, and family," _Martouf reminded him of the goodness that had come out of the incident.

Reminded of the lizard family that meant so much to their Samantha, Lantash laughed shortly, before replying, _"Well, I must admit that the youngsters attaching themselves to General Hammond and Sergeant Davis has been amusing. Now that they are growing so rapidly, Jacarta has gone back to her worship of Jacob, much to Janet Fraiser's amusement. Having the young ones so interested elsewhere has given her the time to reestablish her claim on him. I think Tash misses Samantha as much as we do, though."_

_"Jacob said he would not eat for several days after we moved to earth. I heard that they found him in Samantha's lab the other day. They allowed him to remain, as he was simply lying under her chair, as he used to do on Corlatt."_ Martouf sighed remembering how he and Lantash had reveled in watching Samantha as she worked on some piece of technology, Tash resting quietly at her feet, under her chair.

Then brightening, as he thought of something else, he asked laughingly, _"Do you remember when O'Neill came to see her for the first time on Corlatt and Tash attacked him? I do not think I have ever seen anything so funny, and I really believed Daniel would die from being unable to catch his breath, he was laughing so hard."_

Lantash smiled, remembering the incident. They had entered the room in the middle of the incident. The only person who was not amused was the Colonel. _"It **was** funny,"_ he admitted to Martouf.

_"Yes, very. It is odd the way he then made up to the Colonel afterwards. Almost as if he understood something about him. I believe that Colonel O'Neill realized that day that Samantha would be staying with us, and I think that Tash sensed his distress. It was a one time thing, though, for now they avoid one another for the most part,"_ Martouf commented as he contemplated the incident once again.

_"I have noticed. Although, I think it may be an outward show only. Remember? We found him plying Tash with some beetles; he caught them and brought them to Tash, when he thought no one was looking. Moreover, Tash licked his hand at the time, but as soon as someone walked up, they both pretended to be interested in other things, "_Lantash reminded him.

_"Yes, I remember now, but I had forgotten that incident. It was shortly after the attack on Corlatt, and our people came through the Chaappa'ai. We did not know what had happened to our people or Samantha then, and seven weeks later, we still know nothing. It is beginning to wear on us more as well, I am afraid," _Martouf murmured softly.

_"The Alkesh should arrive at Verduna soon, though. I hope that they will not have still more problems and more slowing of their trip. When they finally arrive, then we will know. Samantha has been gone for more than eight weeks. She is now eight months and two weeks pregnant, Martouf,"_ Lantash whispered, once again squashing the panic that tried to rise at the thought of how close to her time their Samantha was getting. _"A child can come three weeks early, which means she is due any time now,"_ he continued, his voice holding an edge of the fear that kept creeping in.

_"She has Anise, Arwanna, and our healers, Lantash. We must not worry about that. Our healers have done work as midwives on many worlds. They will know what to do if she does have the baby early. We must trust them, and her, as difficult as that is," _Martouf reminded Lantash.

_"I know. Moreover, standing here staring out across a lake at nothing is accomplishing exactly that. Nothing. It only gives us more time to think and to worry. We need to return to the campsite and help with the tearing down of our base. We will be returning to Earth in a few hours, if all goes well. So far, this has been a worthwhile trip, even for Daniel. He found some ruins to his taste, and there was some interesting technology in the underground area we found. Samantha will enjoy seeing it, and no doubt, our scientists will be interested as well. At least there is more than one of whatever it is, so we will each be able to keep one," _Lantash pointed out, as he once again pushed aside and then suppressed the emotions threatening to overwhelm them.

_"The missions we have been on almost constantly have kept both us and Daniel sane. He is worried about Anise and Freya as well as Samantha. I am glad we decided to spend a great deal of time with him. I believe it has helped all three of us to be able to discuss our mates, even though we have all been at pains not to discuss our deepest fears concerning them. I wonder,"_ Martouf continued, reverting to the subject of their missions, _"how long it will be this time before General Hammond finds another world that must be explored, at once, and that only SG-1 and Jacob are capable of investigating?_"

_"No more than a couple of days, I am sure, unless we hear something in the meantime. He has been very diligent in his efforts to keep those of us with loved ones missing busy. He even asked which of the Tok'Ra would be under more than the normal amount of stress because their mate is with the others. He has kept them very busy as well, which is very kind of him."_

Martouf nodded his agreement and turned from the lake to head for the campsite. They would be back on Earth in a few hours. There was no news waiting there for them, they knew, because the General had made a point of telling them that, if any news at all came in, he would send someone to tell them immediately.

Stepping back into what Lantash referred to as their _determined soldier mode,_ they called to Daniel, as they came within easy hailing distance, asking if they were finished eating and ready to break camp. He got an affirmative nod, and when they got closer, Daniel addressed them, saying, "We still need to pack up the stuff to take back, too. If you can help me with that, Jack said he and Teal'c would take care of the camp. Jacob is back in the temple, for one last look at it. It is bugging him, too, I think, or at least, I think it is bugging Selmak."

As Martouf agreed, they set off for the underground tunnels, and the room in which they had found the technology. The temple that was near it, but not on top of it, was an odd place, for it was full of Goa'uld writings, but they made little sense, even to Selmak.

"You know," Daniel said, as he led the way down the stairs they had found, to the underground chamber. "It is almost as if the writings in the temple are poems, but with some of the lines missing."

Martouf frowned as he considered what they had seen in the temple. "You are correct, Daniel. That is exactly what it is like. How very strange. Why would a Goa'uld cover the inside of a temple with incomplete poetry?"

Lantash came fore, saying, "I have a better question. Why would a Goa'uld cover a temple's walls with poetry of any kind, be it only partial poems, or complete ones? The entire concept seems somehow wrong and out of character to me. Although," he admitted, "I suppose there could have been one Goa'uld that enjoyed poetry. After all, Egeria left the memory of poetry as an art form to us, and she enjoyed it. Still, why only poetry which had lines of it missing? Why not use poetry that made sense and was ascetically pleasing?" Lantash continued to frown over the anomaly.

Daniel stopped walking and stared at Lantash, before saying, "You know, Lantash, you are right. None of the poems is complete. Every one of them has at least one line missing and sometimes more. That is odd. Almost weird." He started walking again, though it was obvious that his thoughts were elsewhere. "Maybe I will be able to come back here someday," he said, thoughtfully, "and take another look around without Jack bugging me every ten minutes wanting to know if I have found any big honkin' space guns yet."

Martouf laughed and followed Daniel down another long hall. The underground chamber was only one of many, and they had no idea what their original purpose had been. They finally entered the chamber that had the pieces of technology they wanted in it. They each gathered one and headed back out.

Daniel appeared lost in thought. "What are you thinking about so deeply, Daniel?" Martouf asked, as they exited the underground maze of hallways.

Daniel stopped and stood looking toward the temple. "I am still wondering what the statue on the dais in the temple meant. It wasn't placed in a normal place or posture and the writing was even more cryptic than most. And the poetry thing; that has me wondering, too. Something about all of it seems, not wrong exactly, but I feel as if we are missing something. Something important. I do not know what it is, and I cannot put my finger on it, but I am going to study those writings and that statue some more. I have got enough on tape to keep after it until I can get back here," he answered, as he began walking back toward the campsite. It looked like Teal'c, Jack, and Jacob had everything about ready to go.

* * *

A week later Martouf stepped out of the shower to the sound of Lantash's ongoing critique of their latest jaunt. Of course, only he could hear him, and that was really a shame, for the rest of them should have been required to listen to him as well. Of course, it was possible that Jacob was being subjected to the same thing or something very similar.

_"That is it, Martouf. I will not go again on a vacation for the General simply to keep us busy and to relax us. As much as I appreciate his efforts, never will I willingly subject myself to that type of thing again. I have never seen such large or tenacious blood-sucking creatures in my life. Moreover, the flies that hunt for deer must have all mistaken us for prey. They appeared to find us extremely tasty, as well. What was General Hammond thinking? He must have known. No wonder Teal'c refused to accompany us,"_ Lantash grumbled for what must have been the hundredth time.

It was the closest thing to whining that Martouf had ever heard from his symbiote. He tried to soothe his irritation, saying,_ "It was very nice of the Colonel to take us to his cabin to, er, fish. I always thought one was supposed to catch fish when one hunted them, however. The only thing we caught were insect bites, poison ivy, and beer. At least I am becoming accustomed to the beer, although I cannot claim to care for it overmuch," _Martouf continued, attempting to turn Lantash's thoughts to something else.

_"I would rather go to a Goa'uld world swarming with Jaffa, drink Mordacian ale, eat gareevle infested bread, and try to rescue someone from the deepest dungeon, than to return to that place only to be eaten alive by insects that are larger than Goa'uld motherships," _Lantash snapped his reply, as he was called upon, yet again, to calm the itching reflex both types of insects had produced in Martouf, who, it turned out, was extremely allergic to both kinds of bites, not to mention the poison ivy. It, too, had caused a serious reaction in him. Lantash had spent most of his time clearing up the rashes and bites after Martouf managed, once again, to fail to recognize the plant, or went outside without first spaying them with chemicals that made Lantash feel dizzy.

_"I believe that Daniel and Jacob are also pleased to be returning. However, to be fair, we must admit that we did have some pleasant evenings, Lantash, and it was kind of Jack to offer it to us, and to accompany us. We certainly did not spend near as much time worrying about Samantha."_

Lantash snorted before replying, _"It is difficult to think of other things when you are trying to stop allergic reactions, so your host does not scratch himself to death, you are healing the scratches he made while you were sleeping, or you are attempting to recover from chemical poisoning. I have never seen such pervasive and long lasting substances that caused such extended reactions. Of course, the fact that we were constantly being bitten anew did not help."_

Martouf looked down at his body as he dressed. The last of the red spots were slowly disappearing. It truly kept Lantash busy healing him and fighting the toxins to which Martouf seemed so allergic. It was also true that there was something in the bug spay that did not agree with his symbiote. Of course, it had simply been an irritant, not a real problem for him, but it gave him more to complain about, and so Martouf did not deny the so-called _poisoning_ to which he _had been repeatedly subjected_. Buttoning his shirt, he realized his much misused and abused symbiote was at last winding down and becoming quieter.

_"I am sorry, Lantash. If I could have avoided them, I would have, but that would have meant staying inside, and it was a charming place."_

_"I know, dear one, and I agree that you could not stay inside. It is just that the toxins also seemed to affect me somewhat, even though I could heal us from them. Whatever is in their saliva is very irritating to both of us, and I am just glad that I can counteract it. We have been near other biting insects, but never have you reacted so strongly. Well," he amended, "other than to the ones on that marshy world we almost made a base on, and the one where we had to hide for two weeks before we could manage to leave, and then there was…," _he sighed, giving up. "_I believe, after giving it some thought, that you almost always react strongly to biting insects; it is just that you react more violently to some." _

_"I know. I have done so since I was a child. I am very glad you can control it, Lantash. I do appreciate it. Furthermore, we should be thankful that the General only sent us for four days out of the original seven he had planned. I wonder if Daniel was really feeling unwell for the three days before we left though." _ He smiled at his symbiote and gave him a hug. _"Now, let us go and see what our next off world mission is. Would you really rather eat bread infested with gareevles?"_

Lantash laughed his denial. Once again on a more even keel, they walked toward the conference room. They would get their new assignment and go off world. They would also continue to subdue their growing fear, as the days passed and they heard nothing from Verduna.

As they reached the conference room and entered for their briefing, an announcement came over the speakers. "Martouf, Dr. Jackson, General Hammond, and Selmak please come immediately to the control room. We are receiving a message from," Sergeant Davis's voice wobbled slightly, "from Major Carter, from Verduna. She says they are all, every one of them, all right." Martouf was taking the stairs to the control room two at a time, Daniel, Jacob and the General right behind him.

Then he heard her voice, and for a moment, he could not move.

"Thank you for announcing it, Sergeant, I know the rest of the Tok'Ra are all concerned, as well," she was saying, as he regained his ability to move, and dashed the rest of the way across the room.

Taking over the transmission, he said as soon as she stopped speaking, "Samantha, my love. Are you, are you truly all right? You are well and – and," he could say nothing more over the lump in his throat. His hand grasped the workstation top in front of him so hard his knuckles turned white and it creaked under the strain of Lantash's added strength.

"Yes," she answered softly. "Yes, I am fine, really. I promise you I am not hiding anything from you. I am fine; the baby is fine."

Lantash did not care who was listening; he had to tell her. Martouf gave way to him, for he knew how very much Lantash had blamed himself for what had happened. It was important that he be the one to tell her. "Samantha. We were coming to you when our people came through. I am sorry it took us so long to realize what you were trying to tell us. We did see it, though, and we have believed in you and your abilities through all of this. I will not tell you we did not worry and fear for you; but it was the fear of an attack on the base there, one that we were unaware of, about which we were most concerned. We knew that short of an attack, you and our child would be well."

"Please know that. We trusted you to take care of yourself. We – we can hear you now. Consequently, neither of us wants to hear you apologize for something that was our fault, so do not waste time trying to do so. I am sure that is what you wish to say next, and we do not wish to hear it. Not now and not ever. You did what you had to do. We understand, and we are thankful that you had the strength to stop us from ruining our bonding. And that is all I will say in so public a manner," he paused before amending his statement, "Unless you wish us to say more, and if that is what it will take for you to forgive us, we will."

"Oh, god, I still cry easily," Sam said, and they could hear her half laughing and half crying. "I love you both so much; I have missed you both terribly, and you have said all I need to hear. If you still feel a need to, we will discuss it when I get home."

"Yes, we will, but now I must ask you one more time. Are you truly well and not having any concerns? We know the healers are there, and they have done midwifery, so that has helped us to stay calm, but are you going to have the baby early? Will you be able to get home before it is born? If not, then there is nothing to be done, of course, but we did so want to be there when the child comes."

"No, I am not planning on going into labor early, but of course, that is up to the baby, not me, I am afraid. I am very, very well and I feel fine. Really, Lantash," she assured him again.

Realizing that the others had questions that needed answered, he said, "Selmak wishes to know what happened. We all wish to know what happened. Can you tell us, please? Is the problem something that could affect this transmission? Could you be cut off before we finish?" Lantash forced himself to move into soldier mode. They needed information, and he would acquire it as concisely as possible.

"No, the transmission should be fine. It is Asgard technology. As for what is wrong with the gate, it is the dialing device. I will begin working on it as soon as we finish. There was a crystal that went bad, sort of burned out I guess would be the best way to describe it, which in turn, well, never mind the long explanation. The short one is that we did not have the knowledge to fix it. When we replaced the crystal, it still did not function, and nothing we tried repaired it. The cause of the original burnout of the crystal was not allowing it to function and the repair of that was beyond all our combined abilities."

"We have been working on it whenever one of us would have a new idea, and frankly we had pretty much run out of those, so we were just waiting for the ships to get here. We have been really concerned about everyone and we were really hoping that everyone on Corlatt, and the ships, had managed to make it out. Which reminds me, where _are_ the Alkesh and the Tel'tak? They have not arrived yet, and Sergeant Davis said everyone and all the equipment made it out. Didn't the ships make it away in time?"

"They are on their way, Samantha, but they have had many problems and are traveling very slowly. We expect them to arrive there within the next few days. And yes, everyone and everything made it through to Earth, including Tashmar, Jacarta and family," Martouf answered, as he took over to have his time to talk to their mate.

"Oh, I am so glad to hear that," she sighed at the news about the lizard's safety before switching back into her own soldier mode. "And also, if that is the case, then we will not expect the ships for a few more days." After acknowledging that information she continued, "We are all really glad to hear that everyone is all right. We…we were very worried when we could not get the gate to engage. We hoped the remaining Tok'Ra would decide to join you, dad, and Selmak on Earth. We knew you would be safe there. Or as safe as you could be, since safe is, of course, relative."

"Ask her how they managed to contact us, Martouf. She mentioned Asgard technology," Selmak instructed. He would have liked to question her himself, but he would not pull Martouf and Lantash away from Samantha yet. It was obvious they were still soaking up the sound of her voice. No doubt, Daniel would wish to talk to Freya and Anise, and several other Tok'Ra had made their way into the control room to listen. There were several that had mates there, so the relief in the room was palatable.

"Selmak wishes to know how you are contacting us, Samantha. How have you managed this? Where did you get Asgard technology?"

They heard Sam laugh lightly, before she said, "I am afraid there is some good news and some bad news. The good news is that, at one time, Verduna was a planet whose people were under the protection of the Asgard. Several millennia ago, there was a drastic climatic change, and the Asgard moved the people to a new home world. It happened a very long time ago, the anomaly that caused the change shifted, and the planet recovered. It is really quite lovely."

"Anyway, the thing is, they left their hall of wisdom behind with all its communications technology. Freya and I were taking a walk one afternoon about five days ago, and we stumbled on it. It took us a while, but we managed to contact one of the Asgard council members, who insisted we talk with Odin. When he heard what had happened and what the problem was, he told us how to get into the controls using what tools we had and how to make adjustments, so that it would work to contact you as well as the Asgard. We just finished the adjustments, and it seems to be working fine."

"The Asgard send their best wishes, by the way, and they said to tell you that Verduna is still in the protected planets treaty, so it is possible that the Goa'uld will not look for us here, and even if they find us, they may not attack. If you go by the letter of the treaty, of course, they could, but the Asgard could make it awkward for them."

"The new tunnels are built and ready for everyone as soon as we get the dialing device fixed, which should be soon, now that we have contacted the Asgard. Odin told us how to by-pass the problem, but it would probably only work once that way, so we are going the longer route of actually fixing the problem He has given us very detailed instructions on what happened and how to repair it. There are a couple of crystals in a particular, oh, never mind, the point is that he told us where to find the other replacement crystals and things we need. That is the good news. There is no problem in fixing it. The bad new is that it could still take five or six days to get it up and running. Some of the things we are going to have to do are somewhat delicate and time consuming, but not really difficult. We will get it, just not today or tomorrow, unfortunately."

"Samantha, you are not working too hard? You are resting and eating properly?" Martouf clamped his lips shut on the rest of the words of cautions he wished to utter. He hoped he had not already said too much.

"No, Martouf, I promise you both that I am _not_ overworking, I _am_ eating well, I have been sleeping okay, but I know I will sleep much better now that we know our people made it to Earth safe and in one piece. Moreover, I am thrilled that they saved Tashmar and his family. _Please thank whoever it was that managed to do that._ We planned to bring them, but not until the last, when everything else was through. I was afraid they had to leave them behind. I am so very glad they were able to bring them. They could have been killed in the bombardment. They would not understand what was happening, and there would be no place for them to hide, so I am truly happy to hear that you have them."

"I am under the impression that there was never a question of leaving them behind on Corlatt, Samantha. Jenal was very firm about that when the question of them remaining there was raised. They knew you would be heart-broken if something happened to Tash. If you are happy to know they are well, then we are all pleased, my love. More than anything, though, we are relieved to know that you are well. You are not…no, we know you are all right."

"Yes, I am _fine; I swear to you_ that we are _both fine_. She paused for a moment, as if thinking, before saying, "I am not going up and down any stairs, I am not standing on stools, and I am not watching horror movies, but milk has been a problem. I have been taking a vitamin supplement they have developed for me, so I should be fine even without the milk, I promise. They were very painstaking about it, making sure it had every possible vitamin, or mineral I might need in it. Really. I am fine. The baby is fine. We are all fine." She laughed as she explained, obviously happy to hear their voices and know they were all well and safe. Then she sobered and added, "The only thing I am missing is the two of you. I will be home soon now, though.

As for Lantash and Martouf, they were thrilled to hear their Samantha laughing. Their heart healed. She missed them. She loved them. The relief they were suddenly feeling was so great they felt as if they were going to pass out. She was fine. She was _Fine_!

Glancing up and seeing Daniel standing quietly by, he said to her, "Samantha, are Freya and Anise close by? Daniel is here."

"Yes, they are right here, as well as Malek, Arwanna, Daimesh, and everyone that has a mate there as well as many others. We should let all of them talk some, and I need to go get started on the DHD. The sooner I get started on it, the sooner we will be home. Now that we have communications, we will all feel better," Samantha said quietly, obviously reluctant to sever the slender thread to them, but knowing there were others who should get a chance to talk to each other as well. "I miss you both and love you more than I can tell you. I will be there as soon as I can, I promise you."

"Yes, we know. We, also, miss and love you very much, our Samantha. Please take care of yourself, just as we will attempt to take care of ourselves, for you. Do not fear that we do not trust you to do so, for we do, and that we promise you. We will not say good-bye, but _ashtek keshta_, love. _We will soon meet again._"

"Yes, we will. I – I love you," her voice faltered, and they heard her say softly, "Here is Freya." And then, she was gone, and as he stepped aside, Daniel took his place.

They released a sigh of, if not exactly complete negation of their fears and tensions, then one of amelioration, as Martouf moved away. He encouraged Lantash to take control since his legs felt as though they would no longer hold him up, but instead would, at any moment, buckle, and send them ignominiously to the floor.

Not in much better shape than Martouf, Lantash quickly leaned them against a nearby wall. Then a somewhat subdued, but no less real, sense of exultation came over them. Dear Goddess, she was alive. No, she was more than alive, for not _only _was she alive, she was also _well._ She loved them and missed them. Neither she nor the child was in any danger; there had been no attack on the new base. They were well, her and the child. Moreover, she loved them and missed them. If they continued to repeat that litany, then it would soon become ever more of a reality to them. No, that was not correct either. It _was_ reality to them, or they would not feel this soul-deep sense of joy and liberation as the hours, days, and weeks of uncertainty, near despair, barely suppressed fears, and tightly controlled stresses and tensions simply drained away.

Lantash felt Selmak come to stand between them and the room full of people, giving them a small amount of privacy as they recovered their composure. Feeling his touch on their arm, Lantash opened eyes he had not even realized he had closed as the immense relief had spread through them. "Go on to your room, Lantash. Now you can both really get some true sleep. Go on, I will take care of any questions."

Lantash nodded his agreement and smiled briefly. "Thank you, old friend. I believe I will." They smiled at one another, and he knew that Jacob, too, was feeling this sense of relief. Selmak would care for Jacob though. They must care for one another, and Selmak had spoken nothing but the truth. They did need sleep, for they had not been sleeping much, or well. They would tonight. Oh, yes, they most definitely would, and they would have no nightmares this night, only sweet, sweet dreams.

TBC


	9. All the Rest of Their Tomorrows 9 BRSP

_**Chapter Nine Summary: **With the tension lessened, Martouf and Lantash become aware of how well the Tok'Ra and the Tau'ri are getting along. Daniel seems preoccupied and somewhat worried. The gate should be working soon, but would it be soon enough?_

_**"Italics" - **Symbiote-Host communications_

* * *

_**Breathing Space**_

**_Chapter Nine_**

**_All the Rest of Their Tomorrows_**

* * *

Martouf looked around the cafeteria the next morning at breakfast and it struck him how much the atmosphere had changed overnight. Where there had been an indefinable tension the day before, there was now a relaxed and easy feeling. There was more laughter and smiles. Not that laughter and smiles had been completely missing before, for they had not been. However, today, the laughter was deeper and the smiles brighter. This morning the mood was more comfortable, and less restrained, as if something almost imperceptible was released from some dark place, and let out into the sunlight, where it simply dissipated into nothingness.

Jacob and Janet Fraiser were having breakfast with the General and Resenna. Martouf blinked. He had not realized that anything had developed between the General and her, however, there was no doubt that something was growing between them. Giving it some thought, he realized that it probably should not surprise him. She was older, a calm and sensible woman, but still very attractive. Her symbiote, Arisana, was quiet, tranquil, had a great deal of common sense, and was disposed to neither outbursts nor snap decisions. She and the General appeared to be on very good terms, and he wondered why he and Lantash had not noticed this development before now. Lantash answered his thought, saying, _"Perhaps because we were rarely on base, and barely here for more than a day or two, before we left for our next mission. That would be the logical assumption. It is difficult to realize something like that, when you are not around to see it taking place. Moreover, while it might have been interesting to watch it pass from friendship to more, I am still grateful that we were kept unusually busy." _

_"You are probably correct, Lantash," _Martouf murmured absentmindedly. Still looking around the cafeteria, he was very close to feeling amazed by what he perceived. At many of the tables, there were Tau'ri and Tok'Ra, sitting together talking, laughing, and sharing their meal. Furthermore, it was not only hosts that were in the forefront. Many of the symbiotes were the ones who were in the conversations.

_"This is exactly what the General was hoping to accomplish with his exchange program. I would venture to guess that there are several Tok'Ra who will be staying on at the SGC when the time comes to return to the Tunnels, Martouf," _Lantash stated with obvious satisfaction.

_"Yes, and from what I am seeing today, I would suggest that not only were we off world a great deal, but when we were on base, we were simply so caught up in our own world that we have not noticed these things developing. I would guess that several SGC personnel may be going to the Tunnels, as well,"_ Martouf answered.

_"I agree. I think it is exactly what we needed, so even though the situation was deeply distressing for many of us, some very good things seem to have come out of it,"_ Lantash pointed out the good rather dwelling on the bad. He paused and then spoke very softly, adding, _"However, I do sincerely hope that the next time we need to be brought to our senses and realize something, that it will be presented and taught to us in a less emotionally devastating way." _

He continued his thoughts, saying, "_Although, in all truth, I am very pleased that we managed to overcome our fears and stop smothering our Samantha. It has also given us a peace, a joy, both within us and within our relationship with Samantha, which was not there before. I am very grateful for that. I did not realize how very full of fear, anxiety, and tension we were." _

Martouf sent him a smile and a hug before commenting, _"It is a very good feeling this quiet happiness. While we are anxious for our Samantha's return, it is a normal feeling of missing her, not the panic we would have felt before." _

_"No, it is not,"_ Lantash answered him and then paused, obviously considering something. He spoke slowly as if considering each word before saying it, _"This is how it should have been all along. Yes, we miss her, and we wish she was with us, but the overwhelming fear, dread, and panic are gone. Yes, something could still happen to her, but something could happen to her with us in the same room as well. We cannot help but worry, but we now know that we cannot keep her safe. More importantly, we now know that we can live with that fact."_

Martouf agreed with him and his comments, and then said,_ "It is a great relief, Lantash, as if a burden has been lifted from us. We survived not knowing and came out stronger for it. She did not intend this, but since it happened, I can see that it has forced us to come to accept the truth of what she was saying."_

_"Yes, dear one, it did. Now, all we must worry about is whether she will be home for the birth of our child. It very well could be that she will not be here, Martouf. We must accept that as a possibility. She is due anytime now; we are both aware of that fact, and as she said, the child shall choose its own time to arrive. She has no control over that. Perhaps it would be just as well if it did happen before she arrived back,"_ Lantash replied.

_"Why, Lantash? Why would you not wish to be with Samantha?" _Martouf asked, incredulous at this statement.

_"I do wish to be with her, Martouf, but childbirth is not an easy process. And,"_ Lantash stopped, wondering if he should remind Martouf of the childbirth classes they had attended. It seemed like a very long time ago now. The movie Janet Fraiser had played for them had been graphic, and while they were both aware of the process neither of them had actually seen a birth. Well, not for many centuries, anyway. Lantash seemed to remember helping at a birthing a very long time ago, but the woman had been a mother several times over and the process now seemed surprisingly easy when compared to what they had viewed in the film.

_"And what?" _Martouf prodded him.

_"And it is, well, it will be extremely painful for Samantha, and we will be able to do nothing for her, Martouf. Nothing. The most we will be able to do is hold her hand and help her to breathe in the manner in which Janet taught us. Samantha will do all of the considerable work involved, and all of the pain will be borne by her, as we stand helplessly by and watch. Perhaps we should ask Janet to go over everything again, in case she does get back in time to have our child here," _Lantash fretted, as the thoughts chased themselves through and around his mind.

_"Lantash, dear one, you are simply replacing one worry with another one. We went through several classes with her and Janet. We will be fine. Stop worrying." _For once, Martouf was the one advising and soothing. Hoping to distract his friend, he said, _"There is Daniel, and he does not look very happy. I wonder what is the matter?" _

Watching him as he approached the area in which they sat, Lantash studied his face. Martouf was correct. Not only did Daniel not appear to be happy, he seemed to be worried about something. He prompted, Martouf, urging him to action,_ "See if he will join us, Martouf. We will see if we cannot discover what is troubling him so much. He could simply be lost in thought about some ruin or artifact he is studying, I suppose, but he does not look quite as distracted as he does when that is the case. He looks…concerned and, perhaps, worried about something. I wonder what has happened?"_

_"There is definitely something preying on his mind," _Martouf said, as he motioned to Daniel to come over and join them.

He nodded in return and proceeded to choose his breakfast and, of course, garner a rather large mug of coffee. Once he had that, he headed over to them.

"Good morning, Daniel, how are you today?" Martouf greeted him, as soon as he arrived at their table and started unloading his tray.

"I am doing fine. I slept a little better last night; I have to admit. I did not realize just how tense I was over not knowing what was happening. I thought I had myself convinced that they were fine, but I must not have. I think I slept as if I was dead for a good six hours."

"Only six hours, Daniel?" Martouf asked, frowning. "That is not very long when we have not rested well for so long. Both Lantash and I slept for well over twelve hours, which is a very long time for a symbiote. I suspect that Lantash has been getting even less sleep than I have, though, for he can increase the chemicals that help me to sleep. However, short of putting himself into a dormant state, which I know he did a few times, there is nothing else he can do to help himself sleep."

"I did not realize he was not putting himself into a dormant state. He should have been. You were both very tense." He sighed before saying, "We have all been tense. There is a palatable sense of that tension easing this morning. Jack stopped by this morning, and he said there was a hell of a party last night that went on into the wee hours of the morning. General Hammond cancelled all off world trips that were not absolutely necessary for today, so everyone can just enjoy the feeling of relief." Daniel grinned briefly, adding, "Or recover from their hangover. It seems that, after General Hammond left, someone went for some hard liquor and some of them, er, overindulged. So to speak. Jack should know; he has a dandy headache this morning."

Going along with Daniel's diversion tactics for the moment, Martouf answered him asking, "Did the symbiotes allow their hosts to imbibe as well? They do occasionally, you see, and depending on the circumstances, they sometimes allow it to affect themselves as well as their host. You have seen nothing until you have seen a tipsy Tok'Ra, Daniel. They become, ah, quite unrestrained. Moreover, Tok'Ra are…not good at being ill. They so seldom are, you see, and a hangover is, to them anyway, an insult to their abilities. For once they allow the alcohol to affect them, they cannot, assuming they consumed a great deal, which they generally do at those times, well, they cannot avoid the hangover, for they cannot "heal" it. It simply is, and they must allow time, as well as time-honored remedies, help them to cope. Of course, as I said, they do not do illness well at all. No," Martouf smiled, as if at a memory, before continuing, "not well at all."

Daniel gave a small smile in response to the information, although Lantash thought it looked more like a grimace. Responding to the unspoken comment, Martouf said, _"Yes, it did. There is definitely something wrong here, Lantash." _

Lantash agreed with him, responding,_ "I concur. Therefore, we must move the conversation back to him, before he has time to put up a guard around himself. At the moment, he will not be expecting us to question him." _

They turned from their internal conversation in time to hear Daniel say, "I believe that some of them did. At least, Jack mentioned that a few of the symbiotes had become, er, I believe the word you used was tipsy. He indicated that he thought they became a lot more fun in that condition, but I have no idea what happened. Whatever it was, Jack seemed less sarcastic than normal this morning. Of course, during the last many weeks, he has come to know some of them, and he realizes that they are not Goa'uld, in any way other than the physical. He has been slowly coming around, I think. I know I have not heard him refer to anyone as a 'snake' in several weeks." He stopped talking, but an arrested look came into his eyes and he grinned, albeit a small one, but it was there. Martouf was about to ask him what he had thought of, when he said, "You know, we are right and Jack has not been using the word snake. In fact, I cannot remember him using it since Jacob and Selmak arrived. I would bet just about anything that General Hammond ordered him to lose it from his vocabulary." Daniel laughed softly and shook his head before continuing, "But, I also think that Jack is coming around. I don't think it was very hard for him to lose the word."

Lantash came fore, answering him, "I, too, have noticed this, Daniel. Although, it has been conspicuous in its absence, I have no desire to point it out, and thus push him back into his previous behavior, which I believe we could. Whether it is an actual change in attitude, or the result of a direct order from his commander, I hope it continues, for he is much more pleasant this way."

Daniel grinned again, but this one was full and real, as he said, "I agree. I have not brought it up either, nor will I. Let sleeping dogs lie and all that. Moreover, you are right about the other as well. It does make it a whole lot more pleasant to be around him, and I believe that it has already had an effect on other members of the SGC. Some of them that were none too happy about having the Tok'Ra here have come around after watching General Hammond and his ease and comfort when he is with one of you. I am sure that they have noticed Jack's change in attitude, as well. It probably helped, too, that they were where they could observe the Tok'Ra closely. You know, they could _see_ that you are not anything like a Goa'uld. Which is all a goodness from my perspective."

"I agree, Daniel, however, as fascinating as I am sure you find this conversation, I believe there is something more important for us to discuss."

_"I have broken the ice, Martouf. You may continue,"_ Lantash informed him.

_"Why, thank you, Lantash, that was most kind of you,"_ Martouf responded, grinning at his symbiote. Lantash was notorious for his almost complete lack of tact and diplomacy as soon as it was needed most. In his personal relationships, he could be unbelievably sensitive, caring, kind, understanding, and eloquent. He could even be quite charming when he wished to be. Put him in a situation that contained anyone other than one of his mates along with a desperate need to be tactful, and he was a, what was the Tau'ri term? Ah, yes, he was a bull in a china shop. Thus his abrupt opening of the conversation and subsequent release of control to Martouf, who, it was well known and acknowledged, was admired for his ability to calm troubled waters, soothe irate counselors, and lead touchy conversations and negotiations to mutually beneficial conclusions.

Daniel was looking at Martouf blankly. "What have I forgotten? I don't recall anything pressing we had to discuss. What is the matter, Martouf?" Once again, Daniel showed his ability to tell them apart.

Martouf smiled at him even as he shook his head in denial of anything being "wrong." He followed it up verbally, "There is nothing, wrong, Daniel. I believe Lantash was referring to the wonderful event that occurred yesterday afternoon; I do not believe he phrased his comment very well," Martouf assured him, then continued, saying, "It was a wonderful lifting of the tension that has permeated the SGC, was it not? I know that Lantash and I are feeling very much at peace today. I must admit, too, that we also feel a deep well of joy. It was wonderful to hear her voice and know for sure, that she and the baby are both doing well." You could hear the happiness in his voice, and he sent a full, brilliant smile to Daniel, inviting him to share that sense of joy and relief. Daniel glanced down at his tray and frowned slightly.

Suddenly, Martouf changed tactics, lowering his voice and saying very softly and gently, "But you are not feeling relief, Daniel. You are quite tense," Martouf said quietly, his voice full of tenderness. "What is wrong, Daniel?"

Daniel shook his head, as he stared at the pancakes he was just playing with instead of eating. Finally, he looked up, sighed deeply, and said, "It sounds crazy, but I think there is something wrong with Anise. I cannot explain it. It is just a weird feeling I am getting that Freya was lying to me. Something in her voice, I guess."

Martouf frowned, completely surprised at Daniel's answer. Even though it seemed logical that Daniel's mood had to do with Anise and Freya, he had not truly believed that it would be that. Still frowning, but now in concentration rather than shock, he asked him, "What do you mean, Daniel? What was she lying about, and why do you suspect that there is something wrong with Anise? Do you mean she is ill? That would be very unusual."

Daniel shook his head again, as he tapped his fork against his plate, obviously deep in thought. "I asked to talk to Anise and Freya said she was asleep. That she had been up all night working on the communications and that she had just fallen asleep. She did not want to disturb her." He took a sip of his coffee and looked at Martouf, who was staring back at him.

"Anise was asleep when they contacted us?" He finally asked. "And Freya did not want to awaken her? I have to admit it does sound odd," Martouf said slowly. He looked as puzzled and confused as Daniel did, now.

Daniel nodded his agreement, and then told him, "At the time, I took it at face value. I mean, no doubt others were doing as much as they could so that Sam would rest. Now though, the more I think about it, the more worried I become. It just does not make sense. And shortly after telling me that, she said she should allow someone else the opportunity to talk to their mate and that was it."

Martouf was quiet, obviously contemplating what Daniel had revealed. After a short period of thought, he said, "There were several people who needed to talk to their mates, and no doubt, Malek wished to talk to Selmak. Perhaps it was simply that she was truly tired, Daniel. As you said, they may all have been working extra to keep Samantha from doing it. There is the chance that by doing so, she became exhausted. It is possible. And knowing they now have communications, it is not as if you will not get to talk to her the next time."

Daniel shook his head, indicating his refusal to agree with Martouf's statements. Sighing deeply, he said, "She just really sounded strange to me, once I thought about it. I woke up in the middle of the night convinced that something is very wrong, and there is not anything I can do about it. We have been apart for almost six months now, and the last time we were together, it was a very brief surprise visit by me. Surely, Anise would have wanted to talk to me. Perhaps, she no longer cares for me, or she never truly did, and now she realizes it. She was attracted to me first, though, so that makes no sense. If it was Freya, I would believe it was possible that she was no longer in love with me. But I would have sworn they both loved me."

"They do both love you, Daniel. Whatever the cause, it is not because she does not care for you. I feel quite certain of that, and Lantash agrees with me."

Daniel sighed again. "Perhaps I am over reacting. I just feel it, you know? Freya was keeping something from me. It just makes no sense for Anise to be asleep when they contacted us. None at all," Daniel said firmly.

"That is not true, Daniel," Lantash came forward to say. "There are many reasons a symbiote might be dormant and exhaustion is certainly one of them. Do not forget that Anise wants to return to you as much as Samantha wants to return to us. She would be working herself very hard to try to accomplish that, and when you add the issue of Samantha's pregnancy into the equation, you have a true reason for her to have done so."

Daniel still looked unconvinced, but he did seem a little more relaxed. "I suppose you could be right. At any rate, there is nothing I can do about it, so worrying is pointless. Let's try changing the subject; maybe I can just forget the entire thing for a while. They are safe; that is the main thing. Now that we do not have to worry about an attack taking place as they were settling in, we can concentrate on some of those writings we found a week ago in that temple. The one where there seemed to be missing sentences, but we couldn't figure out why."

"Actually," Daniel began to sound almost excited, "I had another thought the other day when I was looking over those images again. I know you remember the world we went to together, for us to come to terms with our fears and stuff?" He didn't even wait for a reply, but plunged onward, "Well, it came to me that the temples on that world were exactly the same except that it was not every poem as it was in the other one. It makes me think there may be a link between them. Now, I just have to figure out what it is, and what the poems mean. Because, I think they have some meaning that I am missing," he finished decisively.

"I remember both places, Daniel. You could very well be correct. It does seem odd that we would find the same sort of writings on both worlds, unless there was a link of some kind. We already decided that the poems, in and of themselves, were strange and more than that, they were strange to find on what used to be a Goa'uld world. Would you care for some help? I would be glad to have something with which to occupy myself. The next few days are going to be very long I am afraid."

"Sure, I would love the help. Besides, look on the bright side, Lantash. You know Sam's safe, and if she has the baby before she gets back, you and Martouf will not have to go through the worry of the birth. Although," he added, "it would be a shame to miss it. It is a pretty special happening."

"We agree, Daniel, and that is why we wish to be there. It is something that may never happen for us again. We have already missed the last two months of her pregnancy through no ones fault but our own. We do not wish to miss the culmination as well."

"Well, rest assured, Sam will do her best to get back here for the big event, so that you can be there with her for it. She wants you to share it with her, as much as you want to share it with her. So, just keep in mind that they will all be working flat out to get the DHD up and going again, as soon as possible."

"Yes, I know." Suddenly Lantash laughed. "We are also worrying about her working too hard. It seems we are destined to worry regardless."

Daniel grinned at them, as he finally began to eat his now cold pancakes. "That is what new-daddy's-to-be do best. They worry. Therefore, you are doing your job. Just relax and go with it."

"I will remind you of that when Freya is the one that is carrying your child, Daniel."

"Somehow I just cannot see Anise agreeing to that. It would be a fantastic thing to have happen, of course," he said, his eyes shining softly at the thought, "but the chances of it are pretty slim."

"Do not be so sure, Daniel. There is really no reason that Anise would not agree. What are a few months? She would not have to go to sleep for the first month or so, and would awaken as soon as the child is born to help Freya's body readjust quickly. I can see her agreeing to it."

"Really? So, you think I should maybe bring it up to them? Talk to them about the possibility? I mean, I agree with Selmak, and it would be nice if our kids could have each other to play with. I remember you telling me about Sam talking about them not being able to go to school like normal kids would. And she is right, they can't, not as long as the N.I.D. is out there. So, it would be a nice thing to have one right away so they can all grow up together." Daniel nodded once, decisively. "You are right, and I will talk to them as soon as I can. Well, as soon as they are back, and we can be alone and discuss it," he revised his comment.

Martouf took control back from Lantash, and grinned as Daniel both asked questions of them and answered them himself. They agreed with him anyway, "Yes, Daniel, we believe that is a wonderful idea."

"Me, too." Daniel finished his pancakes and stood. "Ready? We may as well occupy ourselves."

"We are ready, Daniel."

* * *

Martouf smiled at Janet Fraiser as she stopped him in the hall. They had heard from Verduna two days ago when the ships had arrived. Again, Freya had given Daniel an excuse for Anise not talking to him. Both he and Martouf were puzzled, but her excuse had been that someone needed her immediately, and they had to leave. They loved him and would see him very soon now. They hoped to have the DHD working in two or three more days.

"Martouf, believe what Sam told you. She said she is fine and we have to trust her. She sounded fine. Without being able to examine her, I cannot tell you anything else. Keep in mind that many first babies are late. So, don't worry so much, we could still have another three weeks to go, even after her due date."

Martouf smiled slightly, saying, "While we know this intellectually, Janet, we do not seem to be able to make our hearts believe it. Daniel says it is new-daddy-to-be syndrome, and that we have to worry; it is obligatory, and we can do nothing, but suffer through it. The next one, he says, will be easier. Or, so he has been told. I do not think it would ever become easy."

Janet smiled broadly at him, as she said, "Well, he is right, so just try not to worry too much. Moreover, I really believe that if they can get the gate fixed, she will make it back before the baby is born. I just hope that going through the gate this close to her delivery date does not throw her into labor before she is ready. I don't suppose you have seen enough of that type of gate travel to know?"

"I have seen women who were in the process of labor enter the circle to go to a certain midwife. They returned with healthy babies. Not right away of course, but perhaps a few days later. Gate travel does not seem to harm very young infants either."

He watched as she relaxed. "Good. I have to admit, that part of it kind of had me worried. I almost asked Selmak, but I was afraid it would upset Jacob, and if he had not really thought about it, I did not want him to begin worrying."

"I understand. It is something we have thought about, too, and Lantash has shown me many instances of it happening, beyond those with which I am familiar, with no ill aftereffects. I just hope she makes it home," he sighed.

"I know. We all do. Furthermore, from what they said, they expect to have it fixed anytime now. The next people through the gate could be Sam and Freya. So do your best to stay calm. I am sure if anything happens they will contact you."

"I agree. I just hope they do not contact us to tell us our child has been born."

* * *

"Martouf and Daniel sat in Daniel's office going over some of the film of the temple with the missing lines of poetry. Rather, they were pretending to go over it. Finally, Martouf stood, saying, "We are not concentrating on this, Daniel, much as we would like to believe we are. Neither of us can keep our minds on it. Why do we not simply stop and go get some coffee? At least we will not have to pretend to be doing that," he grumbled, obviously upset with their inability to think of anything other than Samantha and the coming child.

"Good idea, Martouf. It is twenty-two hundred hours. We should be in bed and asleep instead of having coffee, but I have to admit it does appeal more. Let's…" Daniel did not finish his sentence. The klaxon's were blaring an off world activation. One that was not expected.

"It could be SG-10 coming back. They might be coming back early. I hope that it is not injuries like SG-6 were a couple of hours ago. I do not think Janet has left the infirmary yet."

"You are probably correct but…"

"Yeah," Daniel agreed, "let's go see."

They headed for the control room, but they never made it there. They met an almost running Malek in the hall, and he was carrying a very pregnant Samantha. Moreover, she was obviously in pain. Daniel did not notice. He was looking at Freya half-running beside him. Neither Daniel nor Freya noticed Martouf take Sam from Malek and head toward the infirmary. They were too busy holding each other.

"Dear universe, Samantha, when did your labor start?" Martouf managed to ask.

"Late - last night," she panted as another hard contraction hit her. "They are – very - close together, - Martouf. My - water broke several hours - ago," she bit out. "We don't - have much - time."

Rushing into the infirmary, Martouf called for Janet.

Janet swiftly left her office, when she heard the depth of the panic in Martouf's normally calm, serene, and well-modulated voice, and took in the situation at one glance. She started snapping orders and asking questions. When she found out when the labor had started, when her water had broken, and how close the contractions were together, she snapped at the nurse, "Forget the prep, I want to do an exam, but I may just be in time to catch the baby."

Martouf laid Samantha down on the bed and she screamed at him, "Not - flat, for goddess's - sake, I - have to sit - up!"

He immediately pulled her upright, then quickly crawled into the bed and sat behind her, letting her rest against him, except that she appeared to him to have no rest. The contractions seemed to be almost continuous. He realized she was in a long dress or shift of some sort and that Janet was not bothering to try to get her out of it.

"Lean her back just a little Martouf, not much. That is it; that is good. Oh, yeah, we are going to have a baby really soon."

"I can't - stop – pushing, Janet, - I just - can't," Sam gasped.

Janet nodded, "Go ahead, you are completely dilated. I do not know how you managed to hold off as long as you have."

"Had to – get the- Aaahhh,"

"That is right, come on, push, Sam." Then, "Okay, relax."

"the gate – going. Just – just now – finished – it." Sam screamed as the next contraction hit, and Martouf held her, forgetting all about breathing, or anything else. All he wanted to do was to stop this for her. No more, he swore to himself. There would be no more children. He could feel the muscles harden in her abdomen and back, and he knew it had to be agonizing. She was gripping his hands so hard, it felt as if she was breaking his fingers, but if it helped her, he did not care if she broke them all. Lantash could repair them.

"Push, Sam, push - now, - good girl, one or two more like that and you will be holding this little one."

"I don't – think I – can. I am – so – tired."

"You can do it, Sam, here it comes, push… harder… good girl. We will have the head out next push. Almost over, I promise. Breathe, Sam."

_"Martouf, we are supposed to be helping her to breathe_," Lantash remembered suddenly.

_"I know, but I do not remember how," _Martouf replied urgently.

_"At this point, I am not sure it matters, and she seems to be doing it herself," _he soothed and calmed Martouf.

Sam's moan and Janet's triumphant cry brought their attention back to the drama unfolding before them and of which they were a part. "One more and it is all over, Sam."

"Breathe, my love," Martouf tried to help, but he felt bewildered, lost, and confused. It was all happening so fast. However, at his words, and the touch of his lips on the top of her head, he felt her acceptance of their being there for her, and knew that they were helping. She had made a supreme effort to be here for this birth, and all she really wanted was for them to be there for her. She could breathe, but she could not hold herself. Only he and Lantash could be there and do that for her, and that was what she truly needed from them. Realizing that, he felt calmer, and he noticed the same feeling coming from Lantash. It was all right. Now, they knew what too do, and they kissed her again, silently giving her all their love and emotional support.

Sam screamed once more, and then he heard Janet saying quietly, "It is a girl; a beautiful, healthy little girl. Well, not so little, actually. She is a chunk, Sam." The baby let out a cry, and then she was placed on her mother's tummy.

Martouf blinked at the mucky little body when they gently placed her onto his Samantha's abdomen to lie next to her mother for the first time. Women had an odd concept of beauty, he decided.

Sam gently touched her baby's cheek and the little one opened her mouth. Sam laughed and cried all at the same time, and watched as they took her daughter to be cleaned up and checked out. She sighed then, obviously exhausted.

"Okay, Sam, we are going to deliver the rest of this stuff, and then get you cleaned up, into a clean bed, and clean clothes. Martouf, while we finish here, why don't you and Lantash go get one of Sam's nightshirts that she bought for when the baby came. Be sure you get one that opens in the front, so she can nurse easily."

"In a minute, Janet," Sam said, as Martouf moved from her back to her side, so that she could lie down. She looked up at him and smiled tiredly. "I am glad you were here with me. I am sorry I could not make it back before. We really tried."

Seeing her tiredness, he leaned over her and took her lips in a soft kiss, "You are here now, and that is all that matters. We love you, Samantha Carter. More than you will ever know."

"I love you both, too. Just as much, I promise you."

He nodded. "We will go and get you some clean clothing and return at once."

"Hurry. They will have the baby cleaned up fairly quickly, and I want you to be here when they give her back, so you can hold her, too."

Nodding again, he kissed her swiftly, and left to do as they asked. As he entered the hall, he realized that there were people everywhere. Jacob, the General, and SG-1 were the closest to the door through which he had come, though.

"Well?" Jacob asked.

Martouf gazed blankly at him, for a moment, as he attempted to focus on the question Jacob had asked him, as well as its meaning. Then, as he and Lantash realized what Jacob was asking, they smiled, saying, "It is a girl. We have a daughter. She and Samantha are both fine."

"Yes!" Jack cried.

"Congratulations, Martouf, Lantash," Teal'c said in his usual stoic way. Then he smiled. "I am most pleased for you."

"Thank you. I, um, I have to go get some things for Samantha. They need them."

He accepted congratulations as he walked through the throng that was now slowly disbursing. It was over, everyone knew it was a girl, that the baby and Sam were fine, and that they would find out later who had won the baby pool. After offering their best wishes, they left so the new father could return and become acquainted with his new daughter. Martouf saw Malek leaning against a nearby wall and went to him.

"We wish to thank you for helping Samantha return here for the birth," he told him.

Malek smiled tiredly, "She would not stop and have the baby there. They insisted that they were too close to finishing it to stop _just because she went into labor_. She did rest often before the labor started, but she wished to be with you for the birth, so they worked to repair it until it was finished. We had time only to test it once, dial here, send the code, and when she doubled over, I simply picked her up and came through. Thank the universe our own scientists were able to finish the actual work on it with her simply giving verbal instruction."

He paused before saying softly, "I do not think I have ever been so terrified in my entire life, as I was when she screamed and doubled over. She was in hard labor for some time, stopping only for the pain of a contraction to pass. Arwanna was with her and kept checking her. She was cared for even as we worked to get her here. Her labor started very early this morning Earth time. Last night for Verduna. So do not think she was not caring for herself. She was."

"I am glad to know that. She and the baby are very healthy according to Janet, so there is no doubt that she was taken care of very well. We do thank you for watching over her, Malek, as I am sure you did."

"You are most welcome. Now, I believe I will wait until after Jacob has seen his new granddaughter, and then I will return to Verduna. If I do not see you before I leave, believe that we are all very pleased for you and Lantash."

"Thank you, and we will bring the child to the Tunnels soon, I am sure." Smiling as he said goodbye, he turned and made his way to their apartment, where he soon found that for which he was looking.

When Martouf returned to the infirmary with Sam's gown, Janet turned to him with a smile, as she said, "You are just in time. Sam is cleaned up and waiting for her own gown. Why don't you help her to put it on? She could probably manage for herself, but I happen to believe that new mothers should be pampered and coddled a little bit. They do very hard work during the delivery, and they deserve the extra care and attention."

Martouf nodded and then said, "Even after watching the films, I had no idea how very hard that hard labor actually is. You are correct, and we will coddle Samantha for as long as she will permit it. I will be very pleased to help her, Janet. I will feel as if I am actually doing something for her, which is more than I could do during the birth," he sighed.

"You did fine, Martouf. Everything happened very quickly. Normally, you would have been able to be of more help, but you were there with her and that was the most important thing. For now, you can help her dress and then help her to the room we have ready. She is staying the night here tonight and then returning to the apartment tomorrow. Let me know when you have her settled, and we will bring the baby; she is wanting fed already and these first few feedings are very important."

"I remember. The liquid that contains the things the baby needs for its immune system. We will work as quickly as we can without either hurting or causing Samantha more fatigue," he assured her, as he became aware of the high wail that could only be a newborn infant.

Janet nodded, before saying briskly, "As soon as Sam is settled and has fed the baby, SG-1 and Jacob will come in. I will have them in scrubs by then, although, the birth itself exposed her to god knows what germs." She shrugged, continuing, "And women have babies all the time in much worse conditions than these are. Besides that, she is healthy, so I do not look for any problems for either of them because of that."

Sam was sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed when they entered. She smiled at them and allowed them to help her into her gown, and then into the other room where a wonderful looking bed was ready and waiting for her.

Martouf picked her up and laid her gently on the bed before bending down, kissing her softly, and resting his forehead against hers. "I love you; we love you. Malek told us what you did. You took a great risk, Samantha, but I am so happy to have you here, I will say nothing other than that I understand why you did it and holding you in this way is worth much."

"I love you, too. I knew we were almost finished with it, Martouf, and I had to try. I am so glad you and Lantash were with me. I needed you with me. Thank you for being there for us."

Martouf shook his head, saying, "You would have been fine without us there, Samantha, but we are glad that we were there."

"Yes, I would have had the baby whether you were there or not, but having you there helped me. It made it that much more special. I am glad you were there."

Suddenly remembering Malek's face, as he confessed his terror to them, he laughed softly. "You would have been fine, but I am not sure that Malek would have survived it. He was very frightened both for and of you, Samantha. We owe him for not waiting for instructions from Arwanna but simply picking you up and going through the Chaappa'ai with you, despite his fear that you would have the child while you were in his arms, for it is my belief that is where his fear originated."

Sam smiled back at them, saying, "Yes, we must think of someway to let him know we appreciate what he did."

Hearing a noise near the door, they turned to look at Janet as she brought a now cleaned and dressed baby into them. "She really is beautiful, Sam, and everything checked out great. She is absolutely perfect. Here you are, mommy" Janet said, as she settled the little bundle with Sam. "She has some good lungs on her, too," she remarked over the squalls that were getting angrier by the minute.

As Sam brought the baby to her breast, and she latched onto the nipple, it finally registered to Martouf and Lantash. They had a daughter. Furthermore, this time they had to agree with Janet's comment. She was beautiful. The little bud of a mouth suckled greedily, and Sam smiled down at her.

_"We have a daughter as we had hoped, Martouf. A small Samantha to wrap within our hearts. We shall keep her there forever, locked into a place that is only hers; a place that no one else will ever breach, just as our love of Samantha is locked it its place forever."_

_"Yes. Yes, we have a beautiful daughter. It is an overwhelming feeling, this love for this helpless little creature that is flesh of our flesh. We knew it would be a wonder, and so it has proved to be."_

Samantha began talking to them, and it brought them out of their internal conversation.

"Come and sit here on the bed next to us, Martouf, and hold her."

"Holding her is not necessary, Samantha, but we will gladly sit with you," Martouf said, as he settled himself next to her against the pillows. He was unprepared when she ignored his comment and laid the infant into his arms. He was just as unprepared for the rush of emotions that raged through him. It was wondrous, exhilarating, and terrifying all at the same time.

They had a daughter. Looking down at her, as she lay in his arms for the first time, he caught his breath. She opened dark blue, but very unfocused eyes, and he smiled widely. He touched her skin and felt the wonder of the softness of her skin. "_She is so tiny, so very delicate,"_ he whispered to Lantash.

She closed her eyes and was instantly asleep.

Martouf insisted that Lantash come forward to hold her as well. He felt the wonder that coursed through him as he, too, looked down at this tiny being they had made.

_"I did not believe the emotion could go any deeper, but it is. She is a wonder, a true miracle for us, beloved," _Martouf said softly.

_"She is. I find that I am unprepared for these overwhelming sensations. I knew we would love this child, but this feeling, these emotions – it is indescribable," _Lantash replied.

"She is beautiful, Samantha," Lantash said, his voice low and quiet, so as not to disturb the now sleeping infant. "What name are we going to give to her? We never did decide on one, but there were several we liked. Did you finally decide which one you liked best?"

"I was thinking we might name her Latara Elizabeth. The Latara has aspects of both your name and Martouf's and the Elizabeth was my mother's middle name."

Lantash looked down at the small bundle he was holding. He could not get over how very tiny she was. "Neither Martouf nor I would object to that name. It is very pretty. And it will fit her, for she will be as beautiful as her mother," he said softly, as he placed a kiss on the soft downy head.

He heard Samantha laugh softly, and he looked at her in inquiry.

"She already has you wrapped around her little finger. You will be a very doting father and allow her to get away with all kinds of things you should not."

Lantash smiled slightly, "Perhaps you are correct. However, she will deserve to be so indulged. She is such a miracle to us, Samantha. Thank you for this gift of your love. We will cherish her always." Leaning into her, he kissed her sweetly.

"You are most welcome, my love. Thank you for this part of you and Martouf that you have given to me as well. She is a gift for each of us from the other." She smiled lovingly at her Lantash and Martouf, and then turned at the commotion coming through the door. SG-1 and Jacob entered as quietly as a group can enter. She smiled at her dad and held out her arms.

"I get a hug before your new granddaughter captivates you, and takes you away," she said to him, as he hugged her hard.

"I am glad you are okay, Sam. We have been worried, but you knew that. You sure know how to make a spectacular entrance."

"I wanted to make sure everyone knew we were here. I could not do that quietly. Now, would you care to hold her? If, that is, you can pry her away from her fathers."

"Have you named her?" Jack O'Neill asked. "Did you name her after me? It is Jacqueline, right?"

Lantash looked over at Jack and answered smoothly, "It gives me great pain to disappoint you, Colonel, but we did not. She is to be known as Latara Elizabeth."

"Elizabeth. Thank you, Sam. Your mother would have been happy." He cleared his throat, and said, "So, now that you have named her what are you going to call her?"

Lantash frowned. "We just told you, Jacob. She is to be…"

"Yes, that is her name, but what are you going to call her, Lantash? Lat is not much of a nickname. Neither is Tar. But, Tara would work. So, that is taken care of, now I want to hold Tara."

"Certainly, you may hold Latara, Jacob," Lantash replied, but he made no move to give up his daughter. Sam laughed and reaching over for the sleeping baby, she took her and handed her to her grandfathers.

"She is a pretty little thing, Sam. You did good," Jacob said softly, as he held her.

"Indeed, Samantha, you, Martouf, and Lantash are to be congratulated. She is lovely," Selmak added, before returning control to Jacob.

The others all had to come for a better look, but shortly Janet was there shooing them out of the room. There would be more than enough time to see her again tomorrow. For now, mother, fathers, and baby needed their rest.

After they said their goodnights, the new family was once more by themselves, with the baby once more cuddled in Martouf's arms.

He watched as Sam yawned. "Go to sleep, Samantha. They brought the small bed for Latara, and after Lantash holds her one more time, we will lay her down. It will only be a moment."

She nodded, closing her eyes and falling asleep at once. Lantash held Latara, for a moment, and then carefully lay the sleeping infant down. He returned to the bed to lie beside his mate and take her into his arms where she fit so well, and where she belonged. She snuggled up to him, her arm going around him, murmuring his name. Even in her sleep, she seemed to know who held her. He stretched out beside her and sighing in near bliss, he closed his eyes.

A moment later, they popped open and he grinned, almost laughing aloud. Something had just registered with him. Now they knew why Anise had not talked to Daniel. She was asleep and would remain so for the next three months or so. Daniel was joining the new-daddy-to-be club. Evidently, Anise and Freya had already discussed the possibility of having a child and come to a decision. Still smiling, Lantash and Martouf prepared to follow their mate into sleep. Tomorrow would be soon enough to find out all the details.

Tomorrow. Lantash smiled as he thought of tomorrow. And not only tomorrow, for it was only the beginning. The beginning of all the rest of their tomorrows.

The End


End file.
